​Call it the Pat 12.

As in, no thanks to expansion, we'll stand. As in, the Big 12 -- all but buried by a lot of us dorks -- remains alive, like the muddy, bony, cob-webbed hand reaching up from the grave to snatch onto life.

Again.

Because it couldn't get assurances from Texas about a downsizing and/or equal revenue sharing of the Longhorn Network, the Pac 12 on Tuesday night officially said no thanks to expansion. Meaning Texas, Texas Tech, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State are still, yes still, a part of the wobbly group of schools known as the Big 12.

But for how long?

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​The question isn't if Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo is going to play against the Washington Redskins Monday night. (He will.)

It's who the heck is he gonna throw to? (Who knows?)

With Miles Austin out (hamstring) and Dez Bryant iffy (thigh), the Cowboys are in danger of being left ridiculously thin at receiver. As in, without those two starters I think the Cowboys' quartet of receivers will be its worst set of targets in a game since way back in the days of 1-15 in 1989.

Yep, I'm talking forgettable players 22 years ago like James Dixon, Derrick Shepard and Cornell Burbage. The Cowboys have usually had a Michael Irvin or Rocket Ismail or Joey Galloway or Terry Glenn or Keyshawn Johnson or Terrell Owens or Miles Austin or Dez Bryant in their arsenal.

But on Monday night Romo could be throwing to top three receivers with a combined 17 catches and exactly 0 touchdowns.

And the pedigree?

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​10. Only thing funnier than Oakland trusting Rich Harden is Comedy Central's Tosh.0.

9. Michael Young countdown to 3,000 hits is at 953 ... 952 ... 951. 25 3-hit games most ever by a Ranger in a single season and the guy most of us thought wouldn't be a Ranger this year now has a career-high 104 RBI.

8. Nelson Cruz, the most dangerous No. 8 hitter in the history of baseball batting orders, scored from 3rd on a wild pitch. He and his gigantic-yet-dainty leg muscles make me nervous any time he runs faster than a jog.

7. Despite another 14 hits, pretty sure the "Sitting Duck" hand gesture isn't going to catch on like the "Claw" or "Antlers." It's just that, well, last year was for cutesy stuff. This Fall it's about a championship ring.

6. The A's have a 9-year-old boy on the public address for a couple of innings. Lame. Give me Chuck Morgan. Still, that ol' joint will always have a special place in our Rangers' hearts in the wake of clinching the 2010 AL West title a year ago this upcoming weekend.

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​Tony Romo was gutsy last Sunday in San Francisco, but because the Cowboys lost he wasn't heroic.

Jason Garrett should be fired for his insane 3rd-and-2 play call in the final minute that led to the loss to the 49ers.

Dan Bailey might be a former NFL kicker.

Jesse Holley is just a guy who made a couple of innocuous NFL catches.

Miles Austin is not only hurt, but the target of this week's avalanche of criticism for fumbling at crunch time.

And your Cowboys are 0-2, headed nowhere fast.

That's what we were staring at if things had gone only slightly different in Candlestick Park. Instead, a fumbled football apparently turned invisible long enough for the Cowboys to escape and the inverse to occur.

Romo is a gritty hero that rallied to his team from 10 points down in the 4th quarter. Bailey has a job thanks to two clutch field goals. Holley is a rising star who caught the 77-yard game-winning-setter-upper. And the Cowboys are 1-1 entering their home opener.

Hope floats.

Austin (hamstring) is no-go for Monday. Romo (punctured lung and all) is expected to play. Terence Newman Tweeted that "I'm back." And we'll have to see about Dez Bryant, but I'd expect to see him in Cowboys Stadium against the Redskins.

Now, about the head coach and that play call ...

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​It's not a matter of if, but merely when. The Big 12 is kaput.

When the Board of Regents at OU and Texas yesterday empowered their respective school presidents (David Boren and Williams Powers) to explore new conference affiliations, it officially signaled the beginning of the end for the Irving-based conference. Schools rarely give the green light to pursue greener pastures and then wind up -- never mind -- remaining home.

In this case it's Pac 12 over staying put.

Despite the naive denial issued yesterday afternoon by Big 12 commish Dan Beebe:

"The actions taken today by the governing boards of the universities of Oklahoma and Texas was anticipated," Beebe said in a statement. "It is my opinion that the case for the Big 12 Conference continues to be as strong today for all of our current members as it was last year, especially considering the welfare of those to whom we owe the greatest responsibility -- the student-athletes. "We continue to apply all effort resources toward assuring our members that maintaining the Big 12 is in the best interest for their institutions."

Baghdad Bob, meet your match.

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​Nothing like a good baseball pennant race. Too bad this year there ain't one.

No divisional "race" is closer than 5 games in the season's last week and even the Wild Card is producing nothing more dramatic than a two-game edge.

With another Angels' loss Monday the Rangers inched closer to a second consecutive AL West title that most of us have said was a done deal since mid-August. Magic number down to 5. Lead at 5 with only nine games remaining. To lose the West outright at this point Texas would have to go 3-6 against the A's, Mariners and Angels and Anaheim would have to go 9-0. Going 4-5 with the Angels running the table would force a one-game playoff for the title.

No, because of the crappy quality of the A's and Mariners, stranger things have not happened.

Good news: I see the Rangers clinching this thing at home this weekend against the Mariners, rendering the three-game finale in Anaheim next week null and void.

Unless, of course, you care about the real race we should be fixated upon ...

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​Jerry Jones said he was "outstanding" despite last week's loss to the Jets. Sunday afternoon in San Francisco the owner almost shed a tear in talking about the quarterback's gutsy performance in a 27-24 overtime victory over the 49ers.

It's already been a controversial, mesmerizing, fluctuating season for Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo. And we're only in Week 2.

A look at where Sunday's performance ranks on Romo's hit list:

5. 10-8-07 -- After committing a gaudy six turnovers (five interceptions and a fumble), he leads Dallas to an 80-yard scoring drive in the final minute and then hits completions to Terrell Owens and Patrick Crayton after an onside-kick recovery to set up Nick Folk's 53-yard game-winning field goal in a wild Monday Night Football win over the Bills in Buffalo.

4. 12-9-07 -- Capping a 302-yard passing game and clinching home-field advantage throughout the NFC Playoffs, he hits Jason Witten with a perfect 16-yard touchdown pass with 18 seconds left to rally the Cowboys past lowly Detroit.

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These days give me a good UFC card over a boxing match, but Saturday night was quite the intriguing spectacle inside the squared ring.

Getting his ass whipped early by Floyd Mayweather, seems Victor Ortiz resorted to a head-butt.

But then, after what looked like a kiss to Mayweather's cheek and during the machinations of an in-fight apology ...

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​10. Like me, were you scared to death that Jesse Holley was going to fumble while holding the ball up in premature exclamation at the end of his 77-yard overtime catch?

9. Rob Ryan may be a defensive genius, but it doesn't show when he has Anthony Spencer trying to cover tight ends 30 yards down field.

8. Who's worse? Jon Kitna throwing the ball or Alan Ball covering a receiver? I know Kitna had a touchdown and Ball an interception, but neither are plus players.

7. Was one of the refs actually using a pager to get info from the booth confirming Kyle Williams' second-quarter touchdown catch?

6. One of the biggest forgotten plays of the day was the offside penalty on San Francisco linebacker Ahmad Brooks. Without it, the Cowboys are down 14-0 and punting from their own 42 with only three minutes left until halftime. Instead, after a stay of execution it was Romo to Miles Austin for 53 yards and his first of three receiving touchdowns. From there, game on.

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MLS Soccer

FC Dallas scored in the 27th second against the Panamanianites.

Editor's note: Observer.com contributor Justin Bitner got drunk and admitted to being a soccer fan, so we made him attend Wednesday's FC Dallas match against Tauro FC of Panama, FCD's fifth game of CONCACAF Champions League play.

Yes, soccer still has ties. After a battle that sportscasters would definitely call "chippy," FC Dallas hung on to a 1-1 tie after scoring its lone goal in the 27th second -- second! -- of the game. Too bad, too, because they had more chances to score than a moderately famous athlete in a room full of drunk Kardashians. ZING.

Cruz finally settling in. Recently acquired midfielder Daniel Cruz seems to have found his pace, Wednesday's night's game is any indication. After spending his first handful of matches perfecting the art of dribbling into a tackler, Cruz put his well-coiffed stamp on this match with precise passing and quality shots. His whirling roundhouse goal in the 27th second made a ninja faint in a nearby tree,

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