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*At 1-3, they're firmly in the NFC East cellar.

*Sunday they play at the Minnesota Vikings, an equally desperate 1-3 team.

*You'd think the Cowboys would have the motivation factor, what with Brett Favre's rub-it-in touchdown in the final two minutes of January's 34-3 demolition in the NFC semifinal. Then: Keith Brooking called it "classless." Now: Eh, he's got bigger fisher to fry.

*It's the Vikings who will be vengeful, especially Cowboys' killer Randy Moss. Back in '98 the Cowboys invited the Marshall receiver to Valley Ranch for a workout, chatted him up and even limo'd him to spend the day with Deion Sanders. But on draft day owner Jerry Jones - at the time besieged by receiver Michael Irvin's off-field troubles - couldn't pull the trigger on Moss and his checkered persona, instead going safer and drafted Greg Ellis. In a conference call with reporters this week, Moss says he's forgiven, but he'll never forget. "I'll always have a chip on my shoulders for the Cowboys." Uh-oh. In seven games against Dallas, he has 11 touchdowns and 734 receiving yards. If the Titans' Nate Washington and Kenny Britt can make the secondary look slow, think of the carnage Sunday in the Metrodome.

*Jones is right to regret not picking Moss, but recently he apologized to him for it? Are you kidding me? Considering Jerry's misses as general manager, doesn't that set a dangerous precedent?

*This is how bad things are for your Cowboys: Jesse Holley - yes, that guy - is likely to suit up for Sunday's game. Yikes.

*Think about watching the weekly NFL highlights. I know some of these guys are injured, but it's commonplace to see game-changing plays by free safeties like Troy Polumalu, Ed Reed and Darren Sharper. Even in Washington last week LaRon Landry had the interception of Aaron Rodgers that set up the Redskins' game-winning field goal in overtime. The Cowboys? They haven't had an interception by a free safety - Ken Hamlin, Patrick Watkins and/or Alan Ball - in 25 games. Amazing.

The Dallas Desire of the Lingerie Football League is in a similarly hideous situation. After making the playoffs last year they are 0-2.

Yet somehow ...

Danny Hurley

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I could enlighten you that the Desire are growing up, playing in the Cotton Bowl this season after spending last year on a quasi-field in the outfield of Grand Prairie's QuickTrip Park.

I could excite you in that quarterback Linda Brenner is back for another year.

I could remind you that last year the Desire made the LFL's final four, or that I wrote a column about the team here.

But I know. All you want is to see hot, athletic women run around in their panties.

OK, at your service ...

Watching a win? Or ogling some skin?

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Specifically, the Dallas Desire of the Lingerie Football League. Generally, why do we watch?

Is it because Maria Sharapova is really good at tennis? Danica Parick a superb driver? Michelle Wie an excellent putter? Or is it because - duh - they're women.

President Barack Obama played golf with a woman this week, so maybe this whole Title IX jazz isn't a fad after all. My question remains ...

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In a word: Loved it.

And not just the toned female physiques running around in their bras and panties. (Though, if you haven't seen Erin Marie Garrett in and/or out of "uniform", I'd consider you edit your bucket list right friggin' pronto.) It was closer to football - not to mention much more violent - than I ever imagined.

I'll have a full column in this week's Dallas Observer.

But guess who I bumped into at the Desire game? That's right, your favorite reality-show winner, Cowboys' practice squad receiver Jesse Holley.

Why the hell was he there? A tryout? Nope, a temptress ...

Touchdown celebration or unnecessary roughness? Who gives a damn, really.

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Been meaning to catch a Dallas Desire game this season, but lo and behold they only play two home games. The last one is Friday at 9 p.m. against the Los Angeles Temptation at Grand Prairie's QuickTrip Park.

I don't have to tell you that when Temptation meets Desire, you can throw out the records. And throw off the clothes.

The Desire would get their asses kicked by the Dallas Diamonds - mud wrestling, anyone? - but they are one of the best teams in the Lingerie Football League.

I could break down the Xs and Os and tell you that the Desire is 2-0 and has outscored its opponents 60-12. But who I am kidding? All you really want is photos and slideshows of some supple, yet strong sporty skin to get you through another rainy day.

C'mon then. Let's do this ...

This year's Best of Dallas sports section kicks off with a story on the Dallas Desire, our local squad in the new Lingerie Football League. Its first season began a few weeks ago, and the Desire played their first home game at QuikTrip park last Friday night (yes, we've got photos right here).

In the video above, the Desire's Erin Marie Garrett -- (look familiar?) -- talks a good game about the new league's potential to inspire, how it's the right sport for folks who've fallen on hard times. After seeing the run of shorts-first tackles last Friday night (this shot on Deadspin was no fluke), we're inclined to agree.

Patrick Michels

It's rare I don't have time to check out the hotties, especially the athletic ones. But with the NFL Draft and Mavericks-Spurs this weekend, I dispatched the lovely and talented Kelly to do what she does oh so good: Lingerie Football.

Take it away ...

The Dallas Desire media day at QuikTrip Park was, well, an awful like the tryouts we covered in February. Sports bra-wearing hopefuls did their best to balance athleticism and overall hotness -- both essential to success in the Lingerie Football League.

And, I mean, are they milking this thing or what?

You think it would be easy to find 12 Dallas hotties who are willing to get rough. After all, the LFL's season is only four games long.

All 12 roster spots were spoken for after February's tryouts, but coaches at Friday's mini-camp say nothing is written in stone just yet. Looking at the Desire's super-official, uber-maintained, marketing-tool-of-a-Website, you'd never know.

Somewhere, somehow, Desire recruiters wrangled up a new busty batch of ladies to scout out.

"I don't even know what's going on," one enthralled onlooker said. "I'm in the twilight zone or something."

Patrick Michels

Because I'm home making elaborate plans for my sweetie's Valentine's dinner - or something - I had to (grudgingly) send intern Kelly Knickerbocker out to scope the Dallas Desire wannabes in Grand Prairie. Kelly, what'd I miss?

Today at QuikTrip Park a group of beautiful - and surprisingly tough - young women were breathing life into the old adage "anything boys can do, girls can do better".

Okay, maybe better is a stretch. But hotter? Oh yeah.

To read more about the tryouts you gotta jump ...

To ogle research the candidates a little closer, all you gotta do is click our slideshow.

My apologies.

In pronouncing the death of football as ancillary entertainment in our newfound era of recession, I somehow overlooked a fledgling league of scantily clad females.

Let it be known that is the first - and last - time I ever type that sentence.

Turns out the Lingerie Football League is set to kick-off in Sept. 2009 with a franchise - the Dallas Desire - right here in our back yard.