Best of Dallas 2011: Sports (Director's Cut and Deleted Scenes)

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Some are good. Some are getting better.

But only a select few are the best.

When it comes to our annual Best of Dallas issue I've made it easy this year. For those of you too cheap to "buy" a paper that's absolutely free, just sit back in your boxers and click, click, click away.

I present the Best of Dallas Sports for 2011. And for those of you who continually bemoan about my lack of taste, let's start with ...

Best Local Sports Radio Show

Best Sports Moment

Best Ranger

Best Maverick

Best Star

Best TV Sports Anchor

Best Cowboy

Best Sports Cards Store

The rest, including deleted scenes? Right thissa way ...

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2011 MTV Video Music Awards: My Top 10 Observer-ations

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​10.
Best performance of the night, by far, was Chris Brown's dancing melody which included him grooving to Nirvana and flipping and flying in the air on wires hooked to his back. Very cool.

9. Upon receiving a Moon Man trophy for Best New Artist, a dude named Tyler, The Creator's -- and we thought Cedric The Entertainer was lame -- speech began with "I'm excited as fuck!" By the way, estimated MTV bleeps for curse words: 103.

8. I want to hate Bruno Mars, but that kid is pretty suave. Do we still use "suave"?

7. Worst of the night: Lady Gaga wasting so much time dressed and talking like her alter ego, "Joe Calderone". Best of the night: LMFAO had a silent member -- I think he's in their videos -- wearing a giant robot head. Introduced him as "Shuffle Bot." Genius.

6. Miley Cyrus isn't a little girl anymore. Kim Kardashian is too wide for me. Beyonce is pregnant. And the funniest moment of the night was just the sight of Justin Bieber trying to be, well, I have no clue. But damn it made me laugh. He might be the planet's most ridiculous person. Bieber was wearing these big, ropey gold chains. And tight red pants. And, best of all, giant glasses that looked like a toy pair from Six Flags or something. But the funny part is he was all serious and business-like. He won an award and thanked "Not only God, but also Jesus." What did the Holy Ghost do to get left outta his speech?

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With USC Out, Oklahoma Should Be 2004 National Champs

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Like it never happened?
When Ben Johnson was stripped of his 100-meter gold medal in the 1988 Olympics, it was awarded to second-place finisher Carl Lewis.

When Carter High School was ripped of its 1988 Texas State 5A Football Championship, it was given to the team it beat in the title game -- Converse Judson (officially, by the wacky score of 1-0.).

When Floyd Landis was yanked out of his 2006 Tour de France yellow title jersey, it was handed to second-place rider Oscar Pereiro.

When President Richard Nixon was impeached out of office in 1974, he was replaced by Vice President Gerald Ford.

And when mayor Tom Leppert resigned earlier this year, unfortunately we replaced him with Dwaine Caraway.

My point is, "vacated" sucks. In sports and in life, there needs to be a No. 1. Even if it started out as No. 2.

I don't have a problem with the BCS formally stripping Southern Cal of its 2004 National Championship, but how can the organization not replace the Trojans with an alternate "winner"?

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Something for Super Bowl Visitors to See When They're Done at Dealey Plaza

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I'm sure the Sixth Floor Museum will be buzzing. Southfork Ranch. And, unless I'm gauging folks way wrong, during the upcoming Super Bowl week the gentlemen's establishments around D-FW will be jammed as well.

But for football fans -- visitors and locals -- there's something you just gotta see.

Remembering Tom Landry: The Personal Collection.

As if you haven't noticed I'm a jaded dude who doesn't get too giggity over most things. But strolling down memory lane with the legendary Dallas Cowboys coach had me fixated the other night.

During the State Fair more than 120,000 visitors took the tour in Fair Park's Hall of State. Taken aback by the response, the Dallas Historical Society decided to re-open the exhibit after Thanksgiving and run it through Super Bowl XLV.

Genius.

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On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I Have A ... List. Of the Best Black Athletes in the History of Ever

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While a lot of you are off work today, take time to remember and refresh the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr.

The rest of us? Let's commemorate MLK Day with an impossible task: Selecting the world's all-time greatest black athletes.

First step, choosing the criteria. Sheer athleticism? Popularity? Accomplishment? Social activism? Transcendence? All of the above? Nothing of the sort?

The task, in and of itself, is absurdly difficult.

I wound up taking into account everything, nothing and random bits in between. I also wound up including one local athlete and -- can't believe I'm typing this -- excluding the likes of LeBron James, Willie Mays, Usain Bolt, Oscar Robertson, Walter Payton, Daley Thompson, Carl Lewis, Michael Johnson, Jim Brown, Roberto Clemente, Deion Sanders, Jackie Joyner-Kersey, O.J. Simpson, Kobe Bryant, Kip Keino, Emmitt Smith, Rickey Henderson, Bill Russell, Edwin Moses and Lawrence Taylor.

Wow ...

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The Heisman Trophy: Style Over Substance

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Denard Robinson, the next Heisman winner? Yawn.
Reggie Bush gave back his Heisman Trophy. To which I respond: Big friggin' deal.

I know the Heisman is one of the most hyped awards, but - let's be honest - it's also the most meaningless sports trophy this side of the Governor's Cup, Golden Boot and the Iron Skillet.

Here's how it usually works: A university school of medicine's top student goes on to be a successful doctor. The best writer at a college student newspaper matures into a solid, professional reporter at a big-city paper. The hottest sorority girl gets married and becomes a MILF.

There are hiccups, of course. But seems to me they happen more frequently in the transition from college to pro football. More than any individual sports accolade, the Heisman is a flawed indicator of future success.

Granted it's an extremely subjective study and results may vary, but with a little digging and remembering I came to the conclusion that college football's Heisman indeed is far less important than basketball's Naismith Award or college baseball's Golden Spikes Award.

Taking into account their careers as pros - that includes stats, all-star teams, longevity, etc. - I slapped a simple label on a handful of award winners: Win or Loss. For example, the Heisman's Tony Dorsett went on to win a Super Bowl and get enshrined into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. That's a win. On the other hand, the Naismith's Jay Williams was the NBA's second overall pick in 2002 but suffered major injuries in a motorcycle accident and wound up getting cut by the minor-league Austin Toros before retiring in obscurity. That's a loss.

Get it?

Using that very unscientific formula, the results were shocking.

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What You Missed at Last Night's Dallas Observer Music Awards

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Dared to mingle with the younger, hipper, more talented crowd at The Granada last night and bumped into:

*Martellus Bennett, who hopped up on staged and rapped like three songs. (Famous brother in tow.)

*Mike Modano. (Famous wife in tow.)

*Joey Greco. (Famous Cheaters crew in tow.)

For what it's worth, my fave band of the night:

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Oscar Overhaul: Ahem, Where Was Sports?

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I generally agree with Jerry Seinfeld. On everything. Including the Oscars.

During a show at, of all places, UTA's Texas Hall in '02 the comedian quipped, "Worst thing about The Oscars is that they never tell you the final scores. We're Americans. We not only want to know who won, but by how much. Was it a blowout? Overtime? Tell us! All we really get is a bunch of people all dressed alike patting each other on the back going, 'Good job of pretending to be someone else'."

That said, I went to my first Oscars Party last night. And loved it.

Everything except the show, that is.

Our gracious party hosts were decked out in tuxedos. Even had gold stars on the sidewalk and a red-carpet entrance to their house in Richardson. Lots of alcohol. Lots of food (from fancy shrimp on a skewer to Hooter's to a plate of Slim Jims). Lots of attractive women. And gambling! The scene was crazier than Martin Scorsese's eyebrows.

What more could I ask for? Sports, that's what.

See, to me Academy Awards LXXXI was about as exciting as Best-of-7 Charades between Wade Phillips and Helen Keller. Aside from Hugh Jackman's surprisingly entertaining open and all the cleavage deliciously breaching its levees, the whole production 'twas b-o-r-i-n-g.

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Firing a Bad Coach: Good; Honoring Bad Players: Notsagood

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Something tells me the inventor of basketball planned neither on 100-0 winners nor 100-point-loser celebrities.

I just threw up in my Raisin Bran.

Now, where'd I ... put ... my ... ah, there it is ... soap box.

America has gone softer than Bob Dole without his Viagra and it makes me sick. In short, on ABC's Good Morning America Robin Roberts and Diane Sawyer are taking a team of local high school girls basketball players and putting them on a national pedastal as heroes that deserve "praise for their poise and grace against an overwhelming opponent."

So what did the girls from Dallas Academy do to earn this prestigious recognition? They lost a game.

100-0.

Short version: Dallas Academy, a private school near White Rock Lake whose students have "learning differences" and which hasn't won a game in four years, lost to Covenant School, a North Dallas Christian school, on Jan. 13 by the God-awful score of A-Century-to-Zippo.

The result is inexcusable. Despicable. As he should have been, Covenant head coach Micah Grimes has been fired. He not only ran up the score, then had the audacity to stand by his lack of sportsmanship even as the school issued an apology.

Clearly, Grimes' team was superior. That point got hammered home at what, 30-0? 50-0? 88-0? As a coach there are ways - not shooting until after 20 passes, for example - to work on your team's game without necessarily scoring.

But, at the risk of being politically incorrect and insensitive, the coach/leadership at Dallas Academy deserves just as much of the blame. Why?

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Star-Studded Tuesday

The DASA awards make for the most, um, interesting pairings. Right, Scott?

If you have $200 – or perhaps $5,000 – burning a hole in your jorts, make plans to be at the Fairmont Hotel tonight for the 43rd annual Dallas All-Sports Association Awards Banquet. It’s the one chance a year for Joe Fan to mingle with the likes of Deion Sanders, Dave Tippett, Kyle Petty, Pat Summerall, Emmitt Smith, Mike Modano, Herschel Walker and mayor Tom Leppert, who all will be impersonating penguins.

The classy, black-tie event will honor, among others, Nancy Lieberman with its Legends Award, Tippett with its Tom Landry Award and Baylor’s Scott Drew with the Don Nelson Award.

"Dave Tippet to receive the Tom Landry Award"

Here’s hoping the good folks at DASA find the extra “t” dropped from the Stars’ coach’s last name before they engrave the trophy. -- Richie Whitt


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