Justice.

​

You remember Mel, right?

I first told you his story almost a year ago. It was later picked up by the Los Angeles Times, etc., and became a feel-good national story.

Goes like this: Mel was one of Vick's bait dogs, meaning he was a canine piñata. He was beaten daily by Vick and his cronies to kill his fighting spirit. Once "de-fanged" of his will, Mel was thrown into a pit with prized fighting dogs who practiced their aggression on the hapless, defenseless -- and, even worse, muzzled -- victim.

A blocking dummy, but with a pulse.

Fast-forward a year and Mel is doing much better. No longer scared shitless, he allows strangers to pet him and even frolics in the dog park.

And now, after Vick inexplicably was awarded to the key to the city by Dallas interim mayor Dwaine Caraway, Mel has one of his own.

I know Super Bowl XLV was all about Southern hospitality and all, but Dallas Mayor Pro Tem Dwaine Caraway may have went a tad far.

Gene Simmons getting a key to our city is one thing, but Michael Friggin' Vick? For what exactly?!

Meanwhile, our ol' pal Richard Hunter almost got an exclusive one-on-one with the convicted felon.

​Richard Hunter has a new member of his household. That's him, quivering in the corner. Shaking uncontrollably. Convulsing. The 4-year-old is scared shitless.

"He lives in fear," Hunter says of his new best friend, Mel. "You would too if you'd been beating and traumatized your whole life."

Michael Vick is out of prison and back in the NFL. But the dogs he tortured - the ones he didn't kill, that is - will never escape his dark shadow.

"Mel's come a long way. We can pet him. He sleeps in bed with us,"  Hunter says. "But he's scarred for life. He's never barked. Never made a noise. There are times when he's just terrified."

Hunter, who for years hosted a talk show on various Dallas radio stations and these days produces a daily podcast at

www.richardhuntershow.com, was outraged by the gruesome details of Vick's dog-fighting ring. He ranted about how Vick should never be allowed to play in the NFL again.

"Prison or not, I didn't think this guy would play another down," Hunter says. "I never thought the American public would stand for this. In our small way, we wanted to make our statement."

Hunter and his wife, who live in Dallas, have a 13-year-old Terrier named Pumpkin. But after reading the details of Vick's own trial testimony about how the dogs were treated - hooked up to a car battery and electrocuted, teeth yanked out so they couldn't bite handlers during sessions on a rape stand, hanging, drowning, thrown for sport - 

the couple decided to adopt one of the battered and beleagured Pit Bulls.

That 18-month journey started when they contacted Best Friends Animal Society in Kanab, Utah

.

In 2007 Leonard Davis pulled a horse out of the mud.

In 2010 he answered my musical inquiries without crushing me like an empty beer can.

And Wednesday, he helped some ducks out of a sand trap.

Yeah, I know. All you care about it is ...

​

Not extremely found of former President George Dubya Bush either but, hey, given the lesser of two evils I usually side with the human.

In this case, thumbs up to the prez. Because apparently his new Bush Presidential Library at SMU is going to displace a pack of feral felines. Here's hoping the nomadic nuisances up and move to San Antonio.

Altogether now, awwwwwww ...

When I was a kid - thankfully I only have a vague memory of the experience - I underwent this allergy test. A bunch of razor-blade nicks in my bare back to see how I reacted to chemicals and whatnot.

Result: I am allergic to Penicillin. The result the test must have missed: I am waaaay allergic to cats.

I hate cats for a lot of reasons. They think they're smarter than humans, creeping around as if no one sees their supposedly stealth movements. Hair balls. If I leave my garage door open for just a minute my neighbor's cat walks all over my car. They aren't friendly, as if picking them up and petting them is somehow a privilege for us humans.

But, I'll give them credit, the cats got their revenge.

One of my best friends.

One of the weirdest events of the year went down last night in New York as 15,000 packed Madison Square Garden to look at dogs. I know.

Look, I've had a dog all my life. From "Poppy" to "Urko" to "Hank" to "Maverick", loved them all. Going on runs. Playing in the park. Having them fetch tennis balls out of the swimming pool. Yeah, I get it. Man's best friend and all that.

Just don't let them control you. Know what I mean? 1. Humans 2. Animals. Right?

These dog folks at Westminster so obsess over their pet possessions that they totally ignore and discard their humanity. Waddling around in silly clothes, making fools of themselves in an attempt to make their dogs look good.

Who does this?

When I watch my dog in the backyard I envision his canine narrative thusly ...