It's sunny. It's May 5th. The Mavs are winning. The Rangers are in Seattle. The birds are chirping. And the patio is calling.

I'll be at Duke's in Addison this afternoon talking Mavs, Mavs and more Mavs on 105.3 The Fan, toasting Mexico with cervezas and, oh yeah, watching midgets wrestle.

(Go ahead, everybody at once ... "Richie, what time will you be wrestling?")

Next time you're bored try some Slackwire. And, please, send me the video of you wiping out.

9. Let's get this out of the way up front because I know it's a prerequisite to even considering it: Yes, they sell alcohol. And, yes, there is a halftime.

8. Don't let the sequined leotards and the vulva-driven flyer fool you -- "An immersion into the teeming and energetic world of insects" -- at the root of the show is athletic entertainment. Promise.

7. I'm known in some vicious circles as the P90x Douche, and after a 90-day workout program last summer I got to where I could do 25 chin-ups without stopping or puffing. But at this show a guy -- dressed in a dragonfly suit and called "Orvalho" -- does stuff even Jack LaLanne and Criss Angel can't fathom. He climbs atop a 10-foot pole with a hand-sized knob atop. He then does one-arm handstands, alternating between arms while getting airborne in the exchange. Then, swear, the guy lays his body out almost parallel to the ground. If I didn't know better I'd say it was one of those smoke-n-mirror YouTube videos. But it ain't.

6. The acts are fantastic, but the fluff of the show is annoying. The whole thing last two hours, with probably 45 minutes of actual wowiness. The rest is intermission or these dorky, silly hosts who buzz around trying to be funny and prompt crowd interaction while camouflaging set changes. It's kinda like watching the gymnastics floor exercise in the Olympics. The actual tumbling is entertaining, but it's the time-wasting, breath-catching prancing that turns us off to the sport.

It was good fun. For a good cause. And a good chance for me to spread the word about your friendly Dallas Observer and 105.3 The Fan.

Though, I must admit, dancing on stage with a couple transexuals while wrapped in a rainbow-colored feather boa was a little emasculating. A lot embarrassing.

And an absolute blast.

​

I get some crazy stuff. Nothing beats this one. In my mailbox at the Dallas Observer yesterday I got a postcard.

Initial reaction: "Kewl."

Post-examination reaction: "What the WHAT?!"

And I quote ...

Mr. Whitt ,       11-19-09 (circled, in purple)

Re: Rumortorium? (boxed, highlighted with purple horizontal shading and vertical stripes)

Ia) If (shaded in blue) the Dallas Cowboys sort of cross-pollinate (underlined in blue) Calvin ["#35- Counselor"] Hill within Jerry's organization, What puzzles me is that the Craig Mortons & Larry Coles (underlined, in purple) aren't given the opportunity of keeping up with the Joneses -; put #14 & #63 (bedazzled/bolded in purple) into the Cowboys' Sing-of-Fawner (underlined, purple).

   b.)Cornell Green, ditto!.George Andre? (underlined, purple)

II. Does Babe Laufenberg (underlined, purple) also, hmm, remind you of....Scooby-Doo ?(shaded, baby blue)

III. If the Rangers Were to bring back ^dentist Clint Herzog's pa, Whitey (underlined, purple), as, say, "Stop-Gap Emeritus"...then maybe["Jerry Lewis-lookalike"]Rudy Jaramillo's pending departure won't be so vacated-vacuumlike?"Promote"Gaylord Perry...to be here.

But wait, there's more ...

I'll be on the golf course Saturday morning. But quick as I can get there I'll then be at fabled Lee Harvey's for their first annual Beer Pong Tournament.

Singles. Doubles. And, yes, a Bikini division, the entrants of which are afforded free play and - voila - free beer.

So many directions I could've gone with this photo. But, lookie here, I took the high road. For once.

I know Cowboys’ born-again cornerback/returner Pacman Jones has – at least temporarily – sworn off topless clubs. But the news from Las Vegas may make him re-think his vow of relative celibacy.

The Lodge, located just a couple punts from Texas Stadium, has been named the best gentlemen’s club in America. The joint won the prestigious “Best Overall Club” award for 2008 at last week’s Gentlemen’s Club Owners Expo at the Hard Rock Casino and Hotel in Vegas.