Whitt's End: 9.23.11
Whether you've reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*Doomsday scenario for Monday Night Football: Quarterback Jon Kitna. Running back DeMarco Murray. Receivers Kevin Ogletree, Jesse Holley and Dwayne Harris. Center Kevin Kowalski. Left guard Bill Nagy. Ouch indeed.
*With the Angels' loss to the Blue Jays in 12 innings last night, the Rangers can clinch the AL West tonight with a win over the Mariners and an Anaheim loss to Oakland. As has been the case since mid-August, it's just a matter of when, not if. Tigers also lost to the Orioles, so we're dead even in race for 2nd-best record in AL. Detroit has tie-breaker edge over Texas, so Rangers need to finish ahead of the Tigers to avoid the Yankees in the ALDS.
*Speaking of baseball, it's the most over-celebrating sport on the planet. Saw the Yankees clinch the East the other night and they did the mound dogpile complete with Champagne and goggles and plastic over the lockers in the clubhouse. I'm telling ya, they celebrated more wildly than the Mavericks when they won the NBA championship. Here's hoping the Rangers this weekend act as if clinching the West is a stepping stone, not a destination.
*So Russ Martin is moving to afternoons on 97.1 The Eagle? Sounds like a couple things. Martin's ratings have been very mediocre -- 3.8 over the last three months compared to Kidd Kraddick's 6.1 -- in the mornings, so a move to kick-start things makes sense. I also hear it may be part of The Eagle's grand plan to dump music and go all-talk in the mold of the old Live 105.3 or Free FM. Dan O'Malley is a talented, hard-working, great dude on that show. Otherwise, yawn.
*Jason Garrett is all "football" and "process". But when he goes to the movies the dude gets crazy. He told me and Greggo on his weekly show Wednesday that he gets a large popcorn, dumps into it a box of Milk Duds, a bag of Sour Patch Kids and digs in <>. Mixed all together? Yep. Yuck.
*Michael Young = Rangers' MVP. Well, isn't he?
*It's not a three-alarm fire as so far this season Dez Bryant hasn't made any negative headlines. (I hear there was a verbal skirmish with his live-in girlfriend after a pre-season game and I keep getting reports that he frequents night clubs until closing time, but no biggies.) But I hear he's now estranged from long-time mentor and father figure David Wells. Last year Bryant, who grew up without a close relationship to his biological father, lived with Wells in Desoto. Recently, however, he moved to Dallas into the house previously owned by the mother of former Skyline High School and NBA star Larry Johnson. These days Bryant and Wells rarely speak.
*It's not real politically correct, but it's accurate. I've got my White Truck Wednesday theory, now supplemented by FFF. Next time someone's driving erratically -- other than dangerously excessive speeding -- my research indicates it will be one of the following: Female (Not a man). Foreign (Not an American). Fossil (Not young). Look it up.
*Went to the coming-out party for new NHRA driver Alexis Dejoria at a joint called The Apartment on Oak Lawn the other night. Spiffy gig. Her father, Tequila Patron and Paul Mitchell hair founder John Paul Dejoria, throws quite the bash. Lots of tequila, tons of cleavage, and even I bumped into Most Eligible: Dallas reality star Matt Nordgren.
*I'm hearing Garrett Gilbert is done at the University of Texas. Not just this year in football because of the shoulder injury, but with the school altogether because of overall frustration. He'll apply for a medical redshirt and skeedaddle.
*If the Redskins' DeAngelo Hall threatens to put a helmet into Romo's ribs and he does it in a legal manner within the confines of the game, no problem with that. Speaking of Romo's injury, ESPN keeps playing the 2nd-quarter sack of Romo by Carlos Rogers from last week. That wasn't, of course, the play that cracked his rib. It was the third play of the game, courtesy of Ahmad Brooks. Fans who are convinced the Rogers sack injured Romo are the ones screaming about him being a pansy. But they're wrong. On both accounts.
*I've been screaming for the discontinuation of extravagant last meals provided for death-row inmates for years, and finally someone's listened. After that bastard white supremacist Lawrence Brewer ordered two chicken-fried steaks, a triple bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, cheese omelette, a pound of barbecue, fajitas, pizza, ice cream and peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts -- and didn't eat one bite -- Texas will now serve to the dead men walking whatever's on the menu that day. Hallelujah! While I would have liked to have seen Brewer fed a piece of white bread and a glass of water before being dragged to his death behind a pickup, I would also like to spread his desired last meal around to the homeless under a Dallas bridge.
*Good news, Cowboys' fans: The Redskins may be 2-0, but they allow 4.8 yards per rush. How pathetic is Dallas' running game so far? They are 31st in the NFL at only 54 yards per game and are the only team without a run of 12-plus yards. In 48 rushes, the Cowboys' long is 8 yards. Weak sauce. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Romo is so dang important.
*How the West was won: This year the Rangers went 13-6 against the A's. Entering this weekend the Angels are only 7-9 against the A's.
*TCU to the Big 12 is done deal ... if UT AD DeLoss Dodds gives his blessing. Horned Frogs will, ahem, leap at chance to spurn the Big East in order to stay home.
*This weekend? Saturday is a double-header doozy, first at Texas Motorplex in Ennis for the NHRA Fall Nationals and the nightcap at Baby Dolls Dallas for UFC 135. Sunday we Sabbath, with a heavy helping of NFL. Don't be a stranger.