Whitt's End: 7.22.11

Categories: Whitt's End

Whitt's End - reaper.jpg
Whether you've reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Dear NFL owners, you're a slimy lot. Signed, Everyone. Basically on Thursday the owners ratified a proposal, not an agreement. They made a deal with themselves. Then -- with darting eyes that screamed, "Are we really going to get away with this?!" -- they tried to pressure the players into recertifying as a union. It's unscrupulous, and it's illegal. I don't blame the players for taking their time and signing the 10-year contract on their terms. And Panthers owner Jerry Richardson is creepiest of all, trying to trumpet the owners giving in on an 18-game schedule when the issue was never even broached because the players, from the outset, deemed it "non-negotiable." The owners are the sleazy used-car sales guy, and they're treating players as first-time buyers.

*If it wasn't so sad, it'd be funny. Josh Hamilton's daytime struggles, that is. Ol' blue eyes has resorted to trying drops, eye-lid scrubs and sunglasses. But Thursday in Anaheim he went 0 for 3 and by his last at-bat the shades were gone. Hope this thing gets fixed before daytime ALDS and ALCS starts arrive. Of course at this point the problem is in Josh's head, not his eyes.

*Don't be surprised if the Cowboys wind up moving their first preseason game -- scheduled for August 11 -- to the weekend of August 13 to 14. Probably on that Sunday. Also, as we wrote last month, expect Cowboys Stadium to have an in-game MC along the lines of the Mavs' Chris Arnold. Hintyhinthint: Don't be surprised if it's a familiar voice.

*Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay left a game this week in Chicago with heat exhaustion. Temperature was 91. The Rangers would kill for 91 degrees for first pitch in Arlington.

*Butt-Head: "This is like a family tree ... if your family was made of whores." They're back in October. Yesss!

*Looking forward to tonight's 105.3 The Fan Softball Turf War at Big League Dreams Sports Park in Mansfield. Best part: All proceeds and donations will go to the memorial fund set up for the family of Shannon Stone. The fallen firefighter's parents will be on hand. Hopefully a healthy check and some horrible softball will provide the family a respite from their indescribable grief.

*Hot.

*Not.

*It pays to play for the Mavericks. J.J. Barea has reportedly knocked up his Miss Universe girlfriend, and former forward Kris Humphries is marrying Kim Kardashian next month.

*I'd like to live in a world where one post-sneeze "Bless you" had a 24-hour shelf life. Instead, I live in one where after seven sneezes and seven "Bless you"s, an eighth sneeze without accompaniment prompts an arched eyebrow.

*Just when we were starting to trust Endy Chavez, the Rangers outfielder missed a cut-off man and then dropped an easy fly ball in consecutive one-run losses. Leonys Martin, anyone?

*Heard a dog owner this week praising her pup's loyalty for returning home after escaping through a hole in her fence. But if the dog was truly loyal -- if he really cherished the luxury and convenience of plentiful food, shelter and love -- he wouldn't have fallen for the escape route's temptation in the first place. Though I know some women who have the same attitude toward their husbands: "He can go out and play wherever and with whomever, as long as he comes home to me at the end of the night."

*Let the record show that on July 21 my girlfriend actually posed this question: "What do you want to dress up as for Halloween this year?"

*Cool moment this week when Tony Romo, just toolin' around after a workout, called his favorite radio station to chat football and golf and life with Gavin Dawson.


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107 comments
Sports Panties
Sports Panties

The Fan softball game pitting afternoon show vs. morning show?  Wow, another stolen bit......

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Redsox look like champs....can't beleive this is the team that lost the first 9 out of 10.  Everything is working; they need NOTHING!  Very rare at the trade dealine to be damn near perfect. Sox/Phil's world series.  Sox in seven.  7.  It will be a classic.  3 championships in 8 years?  Yup.

Hey, atleast the little redshoes will win the division! 

Why the sox rock:-Lackey is back on board.-that bench is awesome (Tek, Reddick, Scutaro)!-closers-PLEASE.-starters.-offense (holy crud)-MVP (A.gon)-Salty's been great-trading A.gon for A.belt=we win!-that defense.-speed (fastest Sox team since 73)

You wanna know why I'm a winner.  I'm from Bahhhhston.  Title town USA! 

And ya'll don't cross me.......I'll give this state back to Mexico if ya'll piss me off.

Kergo Spaceship 1
Kergo Spaceship 1

I wanted to repost this from a long time ago. So here goes.  Man what a messy trip through NOTHING important.  Talk about "scattershooting while wondering happened to".......god bless Blackie! Blackie S was the only part of that paper that was even remotely palatable.

BTW, David Moore.......hmmmmmm..........bats left handed?  Hmmmm?  Never heard so many stunted "S's" in my life.  Sounds like Nick Niemas?_______________________________________

WTH? Sheesh Craig.....ummmm, Oswalt played in the outfieldtonight!?

 

I'm working on a new character to replace "Coulton theMMA Doucher", who has the been the Rich Harden of my arsenal-verydisapointing.  The fellers name is"Sporty" the sportatorium monkey, a mascot that has ruined breadisles from Winnie to Mentone, from Alpine to New Boston....a creature so fierceand flacid he could make a divorced  50year old guy with the sleeves cut off his t-shirt on a Harley crumble, his witand cunning so sharp, he could make a librarian quiver in silent and anxiouspain.

 

So, basically what he does is just destroy the bread islesof local merchants.  When they chase him,he becomes enraged and his mind becomes engourged with the fits and a fury ofone thousand fiery steeds on a foggy, battle laden steppe.  Any suggestions? 

 

ps-I could just take the low road and make the mascot somewaitress at Dukes that smokes, has two kids and brings Richie "man sizedbeers"...all the while cackling, blabbing and looking for hubby #3. GoGarland. Go HEB! Go party cove with your dirty lake, 100 degree water andlittered shores; hey, who wants a Natty Light and an STD.  Picture it now:  Now at Lake Lewisville or Hubbard, get yourman sized bargain basement canned beer with a new, festering STD! AND, you canhang out with a 20 something douchebag that drives an 84 Chevy, replete withwindows that don't roll up and sleeps on his mom's couch. FANCY.

 

ps-Go Walmart!  I loveit when I go into the price saver and nothings on the shelves....ahhhh, remindsme of hurricane season.  Methinks if theshelves were stocked, they could make even more money.  And the people.  I may write a book.  The guy I saw at my WM today with thatfestering boil made me want to run immediately to Chipotle and get that extralarge with scabs and bloody bandages-yum! And thank you lady with the four screaming kids, who I could hear acrossthe store.  It was like a mini Duggarfamily except they were void of Christ, shoes and any semblance of manner.  I was looking at the tents, when I heard aruckus that sounded like a trash truck and a full city bus colliding, I look upand they turn the corner and big momma in a Looney Toones t-shirt (faded, withholes) is administering a beating like Idi Amin.  And I am awestuck by the power, she's holdinghim by one leg, upside down, and whipping his #ss.  The kids got a buzz cut, a shirt with nosleeves (and a pic of a four wheeler) and is laughing at his siblings (whilegetting his #ss beat) in the basket. Later I'm trying to find nice stone in the garden section to complimentmy yard when here comes this cavalcade of boogers, snot, noise, Macdonald's(yes, people from the south call it Macdonalds, like Warsh or Ecorn....ahhh,what a smart dialect) and this 400 pound woman with the four kids, cheappizzas, and name brand pasta rounds the bend and the whole thing just tips overand rams the flower display.  The kidswere ok.  I just left my basket and wenthome.  Still not as crazy as that guybeating his brothers #ss (literally) in the camping section of the Walmart inSulphur OK; the whole time yelling at him that you don't get anything over atwo man tent because people will sneak into it while your sleeping and $hit init. ?!.  I watched in bemused horror andamazement as this guy administered a beating so fierce and brutal that it wasonly rivaled by the lady with the four kids. Here I am looking at camping stoves (by the way, butane worksbest....has an even flame and is safe) with one eye on Coleman and the other eyepeering, peeking at this guy with the eager temper.  I was just glad he didn't notice me staring.

 

On a side note:

 

I went camping one time at Morphy Lake, NM(north of LasVegas-high glacial lakes)and the park ranger gave me the code to the gate so Icould leave at 5AM.  Said that crime andgangs had been an issue. Spent a great time and when it came time to leave, Iopen the gate and around the bend comes a gang of bikers that blew past me in arage....I can only imagine what the families were thinking when they wereawoken at 5 AM by the sounds of classic rock, tailpipes and fireworks(maybegunplay?).

 

Final note:

I blew out two tires on the gravel road to the CossototRiver near Mena last year, and I drove for 40 miles on the rims of my Honda toNashville Ark to get the tires replaced. I didn't have any place to put my dog,so he goes up on the lift, they replaced the tires, the car comes down, andthat little fella had #hit all over everything-the map, my wallet, myphone....you name it, poo everywhere. That's only rivaled by the time he $hit all over the hotel room in NewMexico after he ate a bunch of bear skat. I had to clean it up with cheap toilet paper and bar soap.

 

Really final note:

The last time I was in Galveston I wanted to kayak in thesurf, so, I stayed in the cheapest place I could find ($70.).  When the Kerg's arrived, he realized thatthis room came with EVERYTHING, including a fresh turd in the toilet.  You gotta love cleaning ladies in a hurry toget the job done!

Ghost of Amy Winehouse
Ghost of Amy Winehouse

Greggo, let this serve as a warning. Keep snorting up and you'll end up with me in hell.

cactusflinthead
cactusflinthead

Yep, I still have an atlas and a phone book, sometimes I even use them. I use the mapsco all the time, both D and FW.Beavis and Butthead return? Might check them out. Not in a big hurry. Tell the folks down in Houston, Beaumont and Aggieland about humidity. Then to go over to Louisiana and tell them too. Chavez is a kid, Beltran is not. Gimme the kid. The owners are a slimy lot? I wouldn't exactly call that breaking news. Still hoping to avoid some of the pre-season games. That is why they got a deal put together, it suddenly dawned on them that those fake games were money makers. Now they are in a big hurry to get a deal done? Tough shit. I hope the players let them twist in the wind at least another week while the talking heads try to figure out why the players might be reluctant to sign a deal they haven't even read yet. What I want to know is which ones are the biggest buttheads on the owners side and which ones are only slimy by association. I do not care who is boinking the Kardashian sisters. They look like the highest of high maintenance females, good luck with all that.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Kergo's lab assistant, reporting for duty. Don't feed the trolls brah..methinks the Fail's defense system are present. POW!

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

SFBL news: BREAKING NEWS...Nelson has located his Boomstick and Balls are flying around the Ballpark in Arlington!

ThongNCheese
ThongNCheese

Pretty weak Whitt's End. At least the comments were entertaining as always.

JBS, if that is really a pic of RW...wow, he should get a refund.

Stressful, busy last few days of work before I start a new assignment Monday. Weekend should be a stress free, fun, drunken couple of days. Headed out to watch some comedy tonight. Saturday and Sunday I'll be laying in the pool, catchin' some sun and a little buzz.

Good lookin' out!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Ok boys, lets get this straight.  Anyone that still has a phone book is an old man/woman.  Operators. Come on.  I remember growing up and dialing the operator, and giving her the export (area code), which makes me an old man.  _______Recipe of the Day:Smoked Brisket-Indirect heat w/smoke for 9 hours.Enjoy with Shiner

_________Quote of the Day:"The mass of men lead lives in quiet desperation"-Thoreau/Walden

Ya'll ever been to Walden?  Heaven.  The Kerg's really misses

Another Quote:"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold." HST/Fear and Loathing

 That part about facilitating the tanning process with bear is utter genius!  Only rivaled by the White Rabbit scenario.

___________

Kergie Out!  NopeLegend.

ps-Dear Mr. R.Whitt,        Please give me a chance to write this blog one day.......I'll do it for half price.  Heck I'd be happy to do this blog for $1000.00 a day.

__________Gram Parsons Best Songs:

Millers CaveHickory WindLife in PrisonBurrito's #1 and 2Christine's TuneWheelsLove HurtsSweep out the AshesReturn of the Grievous Angel

_______Best GP Copy Bands:

1100JayhawksEaglesRodney CrowellDwight

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Almost buddy.  Almost!  Anyone knows that the real Kerg's has been a P1, day one.  Never listen to the Fan-it's aweful.  But I did enjoy the talking points (tollway d's, Walmart, etc.).......this is a nice representation of the Kergo "state of mind".  Salute' my brother.

linefourguy
linefourguy

RW, I'm assuming your game of pool volleyball will be held in the kiddie pool.  If not be sure and wear your arm floaties since your feet can't reach bottom.  And wear a hat (backwards I'm sure) because those butt hair plugs won't sun bleach and you'll end up looking like Fryar Tuck.

Earth to Kergo
Earth to Kergo

Texas back to Mexico? You better ask Buchholz, Beckett and Lackey about that first considering they are all Texans, along with Carl Crawford.

So your pitching staff gave up 8 runs to the anemic Mariner bats, whose team BA rivals only the dead ball era loser franchises for lowest ever? A team that has lost 15 straight? And you don't need anything? The Rangers would have racked up 21 against those knuckleballs that 'starter' Wakefield was hanging over the top fat of the strike zone.

Kergo Spaceship 1
Kergo Spaceship 1

Hey Mr. RWhitt,    Trying to get to 100 posts so you can buy me a beer at Jakes!

-Kergo

Kergo Spaceship 1
Kergo Spaceship 1

Wow, I hope Karma doesn't visit you when you are at a picnic, laughing with the family; or playing air guitar in the Honda-and then bam!  See, life resets itself; it kills the weak, and UGLY, and guess what-noboDy survives. 

BTW, this is my last time on the Karmic wheel, so, I'm trying to keep it straight and narrow.....although I still get sidetracked with hmmmmm, "not so bright folk".  Oh yeah, and beer.  Anyhoo, at the end of the day I wish all the best, and hope you may find thyself smack dam in the middle of Colorada; about 10,000 feet up. Watching a glacial stream.If you are lucky, it'll be Platoro or Durango.  If you are not, it'll be yuppie banter, puffiness, show and plenty of French like circumstance. BLAH! 

BTW, the reason people in Calorada hate Texans is that you all pronounce it "Colorado", AND, you wear all sorts of fruity stuff while mingling about. Please, ya'll keep that in Highland Park Village and that graveyard known as Victory Park.  Good gravy, you don't need a $4000.00 snowsuit when you are in the west.  Criminy, last time I was at Taos I skied with sweatpants and one of those cheap pullover sweaters the Indians sell in Taos for like 5 bucks.  I would have skied in normal attire, but said attire was swept away the night before in a slot canyon.  Along with HST's book "Hell Angels", the tent, my lucky rock (since replaced with a rock from Cuchara,Co area) and a bottle of tequila that mysteriously came up 1/2 drunk as I was sleeping.

Kergie oUt?  HmmmMmMmm?  Maybe not.

ps-oh yeah, also swept away was my original writing on the harmonic convergence, and the death of the American Dream.

The economy is getting better?  Methinks it's tough out there.  Let's hang on together or turn into a feudal state.  Ahhhh MUD!  Plague. Maybe 2012 is the end of the world. 

Manny Mota
Manny Mota

Chavez is a ten year MLB veteran who was out the last 1.5 years recovering from an ACL tear he sustained as a Mariner. He has proven to be a good pickup by the Rangers back in Feb 2010 now that he is finally healthy. Beltran is one year older than Chavez. They played together for the 01 Royals and the 06-08 Mets.

1310Norm
1310Norm

You like the kergo asshole don't you. You like that shit. You eat it up!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Please, nobody feed the g.damn trolls.....they'll be an armyof evil Kergo's approaching the quad county area by dawn.  Good work JSIB!  Keep the faith brotha; AND feed the fat chicks- like that fat lady I saw tonight at 5 Guys Burgers in Frisco.  She basically wanted to kick my $ss because I'm cute, and she was a torrid, huffing angry hot mess.  If I wasn't with my wife and baby, I'd have mooned her on the way out.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Effing Thong sounds like James Bond with his "new assignment" lingo. Hope it didn't mean you have to live in your car sir, if it did..you're always welcome out here under the stars...no parking charges.

Sloppy Joe
Sloppy Joe

Don't be so upset that Richie used your woman's funbags as floaties. It sounds like she also might have licked his ass hairs off so he could stick them to his head.

kergo
kergo

Let me tell you how things work around. You need to read the blog everyday, but you also need to insult the blogger everyday. Then while insulting the blogger, you need to wonder why the blogger never talks to you.

You also need to realize the blogger is a loser, but the people who read his blog all the time and insult him all the time are not losers.

Mayor McCheese
Mayor McCheese

Serenity hell, why don't you go out and get a real job somewhere?

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

(yawn!)  ............still not worried. Not a hint. The Bucky Buckler will be back soon.A bad day-it happens.  "Dat da way basebaw goo".  What else?  I have no worries.  So this mini diatribe of yours is gonna worry me?    (Yawn and much streching). 

So let me disect the Rangers worries for your perusal (and you can tell your buddies!):

-starting pitching-meh.-defense-meh. meh.-pen-suspect.-if Hamone goes down,thats it bioches!

..........welp, atleast you all are in first place in a crappy division.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking beltre, so we could get Agon-theMVP!  Salute'

Legend. yuppppppppppp.

Larry in Frisco
Larry in Frisco

Kergo,   I feel like trolls are present and watching.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I wasn't going to answer this one, but, I couldn't resist.  REALLY.  This is not new.  This has been going on for years.  Is this RobM?  Thing is- I'm not mad; just motivated.  When I get home, I'm going to pen a thirty five page diatribe on "wit and wisdom, and the modern man", folowed by my favorite philosophers, followed by my JPage lecture.  Then I'm going to sit back and laug.

Larry in Frisco
Larry in Frisco

What do you think it is buddy.  Is it yo mamma throwing a toilet down an embankment at 3 AM, cause she had too much bera?  This is Kerg's, and this is his blog you little fucking turd!  You flaccid, waning, inverted like a turtle, dong infested, mutinest, hooker corraling freak.  Stand and desist, or if Kerg's gets wind, he'll vaporize your soul with his witty banter and shrewd might.  Boy, you better hope da Kurgs has shut the elctronics off for today and started eating chicken parm and swillin' Bud.  You better hope.

I hope we answered your questions sir.

Goodday.

linefourguy
linefourguy

I'm sorry Mrs. Whitt. I won't make fun of your son's height anymore.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

I approve...this diatribe is both confusing and enlightening!  Good job fake Kerg's.

Mayor of Mehville
Mayor of Mehville

Imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery................Jus sayin...

larry
larry

Kergo's right again, and I am a Rangers fan!

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Yup, I can almost feel the negative vibes coming on-and in this triple digit recession!  2012 is coming (Jaws shark music in te backround).  Any of you folks really believe that hype of bung that the recession ending last year?  REALLY? Criminy.

Kergo 1 Spaceship
Kergo 1 Spaceship

Dear 121 Tub Club,     Nice handle.  I remember all those places om 121 that were SERVICE oriented establishments.  Especially Aprils on Preston, hard by the church.  And, thank you for handling Sloppy Joe for me!  I don't like to get my blood pressure up while ingesting Bud and parm.  Salute'.

Candi
Candi

My ragged cooter?

Herman of Melville
Herman of Melville

Richie, you fucking sawed-off turd, I think it's time you stop with this lame mayor gimmick.

Mayor McCheese
Mayor McCheese

Imitation hell. Where do you stand on the real issues: education, infrastructure, crime? I educated all them hispanos to say thank you, have a good day and count change in english real good. I built playgrounds in all my locations and I run that Hamburgler dude out of the picture for some time now. What you ever done? Nada. Mehville sounds about right.

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