Going, Going ... Yawn. How to Fix Baseball's Broken All-Star Gala.

Categories: Texas Rangers

Robinson Cano HR Derby.jpg
Not appearing tonight at baseball's All-Star Game: Derek Jeter, Jose Reyes, Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander, C.C. Sabathia, David Price and Albert Pujols.

Injuries can't be helped, but the mid-summer classic needs to be fixed. From last night's boring home run derby to tonight's exhibition, which will inexplicably determine home-field advantage in the World Series, baseball's All-Star gala is broken.

Charged with the responsibility of trying to win the game in order to provide his league an advantage come October -- remember Games 1 and 2 were at San Francisco's AT&T Park last summer -- National League manager Bruce Bochy filled out his roster not with Pujols, but rather third catcher Miguel Montero.

And because of a quirky rule in which pitchers who started Sunday can't throw on Tuesday (even though most of them will have bullpen sessions in Phoenix), American League manager Ron Washington will be without top arms such as Hernandez and Verlander. Jered Weaver vs. Roy Halladay for a couple innings should be intriguing, and we could see fireworks from Jose Bautista-Josh Hamilton-Adrian Beltre hitting back-to-back-to-back, but baseball's star-studded classic has lost its umph.


The game is such a bother, it seems, that Jeter is skipping it out of physical and emotional exhaustion. Lame.

The machinations have even the experts confounded as I swear I heard this out of the mouth of ESPN analyst Barry Larkin

"It's all about momentum, and the NL won last year."

Now, about that -- y-a-w-n -- home run derby.

It really can't get any better than Hamilton's display a couple years ago at Yankee Stadium. And he didn't even win the contest. But after that, we're spoiled. We've seen homers. Next?

Last night was a little different and sorta cool, with homers splashing into a swimming pool of bikini-clad hotties not far from where Santa Claus tried to fetch some balls, and with ESPN following the flight of balls with colored lasers. But at its core, it's players doing the same thing over and over: hitting the ball a long way.

I thought about comparing the derby to the NBA's slam dunk contest, but it's really more akin to the 3-point shootout, isn't it?

We can only take so much of Chris Berman's "Wow! He hit that one all the way to (insert adjacent town)."

Robinson Cano, a second baseman for crying out loud, won the thing with a final-round record 12 homers off his dad's pitching. But the event lacked a marquee moment. The slam dunk competition at least tricks things up, with stunts such as Blake Griffin leaping over a car.

Baseball needs aluminum bats, blindfolds or maybe that game where you chug a beer, put your forehead on the butt end of the bat, spin around 10 times and then try to swat a homer.

Or maybe we could just watch Jenny Finch pitch to Erin Andrews all night.

This morning we were almost talking about another major fan injury at a park, as a guy leaning over a rail to catch a homer in right field fell over but was caught by his friends just in time.

Baseball needs a fix, not another fatality.


Advertisement

My Voice Nation Help
41 comments
DWH
DWH

RW- Did you even see the HR derby on Monday night? How can you say it was boring? I thought it was the best by far in some time and I am a BoSox fan. Happy to see Cano win it and with his Dad on the mound-it was a priceless moment.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Watching Mert's slicing and dicing of this deal, reminds of what we are missing out on. A good reporter who can write his ass off. Collusional or Delusional..POW. (Don't go weak into a debate w Merten, he's got a triple black belt in Ballbusting)

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Im better now, venting done.  now back to your regularly scheduled commenting

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Well that some bull shit.  I try to pull off one trade and veto comes out.  Fuck that shit, I aint said one mother fucking word  about trades all year.  Who the fuck vetoed it, give me a reason.  And if your reason is bc it doesnt benefit you well oh well.  It fulfilled the needs of 2 teams. Christ.  Well Im vetoing every fucking trade from here on out

Rooster
Rooster

Players don't give a shit about all-star games in any sport.  There's nothing in it for them.  Nothing you can do will change this.  All star games blow and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

Nachoman
Nachoman

I say we drag out Ted Williams headless corpse and poke it with a stick for 3 hours. Now that would get some stellar ratings.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Good strong post RW, and agreed. I'm a fan of putting targets out there for them to hit versus homers. This game is a joke, it's turning into the pro bowl. I hate to compare the all-star game to the NBA all star game, those guys play at least half the game, even though they're just dicking around. I'm surprised we didn't get a top 5 list of best types of all star games. Oh shit, did I just give away your 3rd blog post of the day? 

The other RW finally outtrafficked you the other day. His little blurb on Glenn Beck moving here has garnered 300+ comments in less than 24 hours.  Pow.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

"Or maybe we could just watch Jenny Finch pitch to Erin Andrews all night"

If she pitching softballs, Im out, but if she pitching a strap on in her ass,mmmmmmmm I satisfied now.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

Can't remember the last time I watched a Home Rune Derby.

Speaking of baseball, Ryan Howard and Robinson Cano are available via trade in the fantasy league. No low ball offer, either.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

No kidding. I'm going to accept ridiculous trades just so we can get a two paragraph article on it.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Mert is good, but Im glad we have young and they have Liriano at this point.  It was a good article and hindsight is 20/20 but even I said if you keeps his mind on the game he would be the guy he has always been for this team, its warrior.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Could Merk of used anymore cursewords over the course of this? I'm impressed by his rapid-fire use of so many mf/bs and just plain Effs and invoking the Lord's name. Stay classy, Merk! (not religious, but saw the d"funny up in this hand crafted attempt, of his)

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

I read it but I didn't vote either way. The way I look at it, if someone wants to make a trade, they'll make a trade,it's not like we put any money into this. That being said, I've declined worse trades than this one. The Anus is on the guy that offers the trade. It's up to the other guy to make it hurt more, just like in the "real" world. If that was your first offer and he accepted it, that's just a bad trade for him to accept. If this was week one, noone would have said anything. Now that you're far and away the best, I guess your trades will get scrutinized. It's not like you haven't made hamburger meat of us this year, I think you'll be fine.In defense of the Mert-man, I enjoy a little trade evaluation and banter. Makes our league earn it's namesake.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Methinks it had to do with you getting two top 40 players for 3 dudes..Mert got the veto ball rolling. And I'm still trying to catch you, Mert and Fandricks..play ball!

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I didn't veto it, but I was going to. You were going to get two of the top players in the game for a waiver-wire pickup and a couple mediocre starters. Plus I don't need to justify a veto to you anyway.

Spare us the bitching and moaning unless you're willing to trade entire rosters with me. I'm not too sympathetic that you wish your gap between you and second was larger.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

The proceeds go to their pension, which none of them should need if they handle their money right. So you're right, they don't give a shit at all. If they don't give a shit, why should anyone? They might as well make it a celebrity all star game.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

They had one about Palin a week or so ago that got all nutty with comments too.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

and on that beck post, isnt it amazing that even the p1 unfair park commenters lose their minds when it comes to beck or liberal conservative arguments

D1P1
D1P1

Can't remember the last time I watched an entire all star game - now, 3-4 innings max.

ThongNCheese
ThongNCheese

I have an abundance of closers, look it up. I'll pull the trigger on the right deal.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

I sometimes think people send me offers for the oft chance that I accidentally click "Accept Trade".JSIB has been the fairest trader.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

I saw Merts explanation, its a good argument, I just hate the excuse of the guy is 39 pts behind, that aint got nothing to do with it.  Like said over there, I still love me some mert and thats the rules we play by.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

hey scruff this is actually in reply to your last post.  No I dont have a radio gig I havent told you about, but everyone has to have some tape right, and some writing samples LOL

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

oh scruff, yeah just veto it bc your in last and Im 1st, thats great logic.  So what you want me to trade my 3 best players for his 2, yeah that helps my team a lot.  Im just pissed that I finally find a trading partner and it get vetoed.  But I understand, I wouldnt want the 1st place team getting better either.  I just want to bitch bc Its been boring frontrunning all year

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

it's so easy to get more traffic, just mention Barack or GWB or O'Reilly or Beck.

Or, if you're sportsy, wonder why a starting pitcher misses a start to see the birth of his child. Hot. Sports. Opinions.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

how the fuck does anyone know what Im doing that trade for, maybe im was going to float one fo the 2 I got for a top flight closer.  Oh well,m I hope I continue to whoop ass the rest of the year with the lineup I got

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

You never know who is in an Ambien/cocaine/Alcoholic state

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Dude, it was an uneven trade we haven't seen since Gasol ended up on the Lakers. Of course I can see why you wanted to do it. Has nothing to do with me being in third to last, not last, but thanks for paying attention, has everything to do with it being lopsided.

Your post there was bordering on Richie-level douchiness. You get a radio gig you haven't told us about yet?

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Mert gave a pretty good explanation of his thoughts over on the league page. I've never vetoed a trade prior to this, and without his urging I probably would of let it go through..but I didn't think it was a fair return for Davy except for the Price part.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Ummm, that's not the question. We know why you'd do the trade, the return for Davy was the holdup.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

allright Davy, I tried again.  check it out

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Pretty huge trade chips sir, got the whole 2nd half to shake it up..if'n you need pitching check with the guy that has Linc/Pineada and Ogando

ThongNCheese
ThongNCheese

Ha, I've been known to make an Ambien trade or two. It keeps things interesting, I never know what I'll wake up to.

Loading...