The Top 10 Lamest "Rivalries" in Sports

Categories: Texas Rangers

The Silver Boot.jpg
As I watched Mitch Moreland's gargantuan, 472-foot homer sail into the soon-to-be stormy June night, I was reminded that the Rangers-Astros' fight should be stopped on account of inhumane bludgeonry.

Moreland's blast -- tied for third-longest in baseball this season -- capped an 8-3 Texas cakewalk that continued its dominance in the so-called Lone Star Rivalry. With the win, the Rangers are 11-2 in their last 13 against the Astros and The Silver Boot hasn't resided in Houston since 2006.

The boot itself -- a 30-inch silver boot complete with spur -- is kinda cool. But the rivalry isn't a rivalry at all.

It isn't, however, the lamest in sports:

10. Cowboys vs. Redskins -- I know. Growing up I had hate in my heart for Diron Talbert and George Allen and Joe Theismann and, by proxy, anything in in the District of Columbia. But these days the players don't despise each other and, despite our forced fantasies, owners Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones like and respect each other. The Cowboys haven't won a Super Bowl since the '95 season and the Redskins since '91. Truth is, the Eagles and Giants have become bigger, more important games in Dallas.

9. The Apple Cup -- Nothing says rivalry like Washington vs. Washington State and a reward that sounds like something we forgot to put in the kiddos' lunch box this morning. This intrastate battle has offered us Ryan Leaf and Steve Pelluer, but no National Champion since '91.

8. Ohio State vs. Michigan -- Don't look now but the Buckeyes have won nine of the last 10 and this rivalry has produced exactly one National Champion the last 13 years. Most of the time they play for nothing more than a Big Ten title and a chance to have their slow, plodding ears boxed about by better, faster teams in a BCS bowl. Yawn.

7. Kobe Bryant vs. LeBron James -- The NBA on ABC would have you believe they are the best two players on the planet, and fierce rivals leading the league's best two teams against each other in regular battles. Truth? They play twice a year. They've never faced off for a title. And in 2011 both took a back seat to Dirk Nowitzki.

6. Silver Boot -- Rangers > Astros. Toby Keith sang a song describing what Texas annually does to Houston on the diamond. Something about a boot. And an ass.

5. Trinity vs. L.D. Bell -- In the 1980s, these mid-cities rivals drew 30,000 to Texas Stadium and regularly traded transcendent wins. These days, the Trojans have made the meetings a mockery--beating the Blue Raiders 13 consecutive years including 2010's 45-22 laugher.

4. USC vs. Notre Dame -- 11 National Champions and seven Heisman Trophy winners be damned, this just ain't what it used to be. Long gone are the days of O.J. Simpson and Joe Montana. Before last year's meaningless Irish upset, the Trojans had won eight straight by an average score of 40-12.

3. The Old Oaken Bucket -- Indiana vs. Purdue for a worn, splintered basket in which you keep your ill-fitting hardware pieces parts in the back corner of the garage. Perfect.

2. The Iron Skillet -- TCU has dominated SMU recently to the tune of winning 10 of 11. And if the winner receives cast-iron cookware...imagine what the loser gets: Plastic cutlery?

1. Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd Mayweather -- With all the hype and anticipation, hard to believe they haven't yet stepped into the ring against each other. So much hasn't been made of so little since Y2K or those swarms of killer bees ascending from south of the border.

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Sybil's Sweet Sweater Muffins
Sybil's Sweet Sweater Muffins

#1B:  R.A.G.E. vs. The Hardline.  One continues to DOMINATE the other... I don't really have to say which one, right?

Common Sense
Common Sense

Pacquiao & Mayweather isnt a rivalry you dumbass! its a fight which was being sought by promoters and fans, but mayweather refused to fight. how does that make a rivalry?

just when i think you couldnt get any worse.

well, the good news is your station is flipping soon!here's to hoping you'll be soon replaced by sam merten.

guest
guest

The article itself is lame. Pacquiao-Mayweather will be the richest fight in boxing history.

richies mailman
richies mailman

Don't go there Richie.  The bucket game is one of the oldest rivalries in the country. Those Indiana U honyocks just keep coming back for more punishment at the hands of the Boilers.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

I know you are the "professional" sports writer and all, but you really should know that the strength of a rivalry has nothing to do with the competitiveness of the games themselves.  It is all about how the participants feel about the value of the win.  Ergo (that means "therefore"), if you don't have a horse in the race, you really have no credibility speaking to the intensity of the rivalry.

Basically, this is a list of things that Richie doesn't get. 

You, sir, suck at your chosen craft.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I move that the Sportatorium be closed for the remainder of the day. PlanoDave gave us a high point that cannot be topped. Plus we're not good enough for a third post now anyway.

Nachoman
Nachoman

This list sickle ass Richie. Go back to the drawing board.

Kelly
Kelly

Tiger vs Phil. Never had a meaningful back 9 where they faced off for a win in a major, yet so many claimed rivalry due to their ranking and occasional verbal spats.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

I hate putting the Cowboys on this list. Any NFC East foe is a rivalry game in my opinion. And I can guarandamntyyou, more people watch that rivalry in this fair 'burg than any of these other ones(almost combined)

GusMitchem
GusMitchem

OSU vs Mich - Boy for a sports reporter you are out of your mind. This is the only year that game is relevant, will the tide turn, Mich up and OSU down.

Was the skillet ever not lame ?

......and all pro sports rivalries are lame, free agency all the teams are the same ! the only one that matters is the players vs the owners for $$$$$

How dare you curse the old oaken bucket, thats a legit object game !

HEY YOU, IN THE BACK
HEY YOU, IN THE BACK

"......and all pro sports rivalries are lame" Have you ever watched a Steelers vs Ravens game ?

Greg
Greg

I'd say that Notre Dame having six rivalry trophies they play for is lame: Shillelagh Trophy (Purdue), Jeweled Shillelagh (USC), Megaphone Trophy (Michigan State), Legends Trophy (Stanford), and the dual trophies given in the Boston College Game; Frank Leahy Memorial Bowl and Ireland Trophy.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

#11. The Fan versus ratings. No matter how hard The Fan tries, ratings pays no attention to it. The problem is The Fan has never really thrown out good players that were actually talented and in their prime, it's mostly been a collection of spares, cast-offs, and low payroll experiments. Ratings has triumphed in every head to head in The Fan's existence.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

One decent line in the whole item, about Toby Keith..whom I hate.  Tripple meh, little man..bring the fastball or me and my rowdy friends are bringing the boots.  Greggo didn't answer my #2300 questione last night, I asked him if RW was super gay or just kinda gay.

Mishon
Mishon

So let me get this straight...Out of the 10 worst rivalries in all of sports, 4 of them are DFW related? Way to be a narrow minded sports writer.

I am a Trinity Alum and follow them as closely as I do the Rangers, Cowboys, and Mavs. The players at Trinity know if there is 1 game they must win, it's the game vs. Bell. Nobody wants to be the first team to lose to them since 1997. Although it has been 1 sided lately, the overall record is pretty even and the people at both schools still care deeply about this game. It always stirs up a lot of hate.

Richie Whitt
Richie Whitt

sorry, but if a team beats another 13 years in a row is it really a good rivalry?

Mishon
Mishon

Sure. The people involved still care. A lot. I guess it depends on what you think makes up a good rivalry though. I don't think one team being dominant for a while makes a rivalry dull.

Keep responding to our comments, it makes this blog more fun to read. I especially like the banter between you and Scruff. His nutkicks lately have been GOLD!!!

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

What, you're not going to buy my book?

Guess I need to start throwing recipes out or something.

Drew665
Drew665

His comments are Gold to you? Lame. He says the same things over and over, just finds new ways to say it.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Not to nut kick you too hard here, but the Trinity/Bell rivalry is better than Ticket/Fan rivalry. At least Bell has won before.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

So if the rivalry is one sided of late, the rivalry sucks? It's as idiotic as saying a great player isn't truly great unless he wins a championship (team sport, not golf, tennis, etc).

Having lived in Big 10 country, I can tell you that Michigan/Ohio St still matters to those people. A lot.

Richie Whitt
Richie Whitt

Matters to Mich/Ohio St. sure. But not to anyone else. Rice-Houston matters a lot to those folks, too.

Rooster
Rooster

"Rice-Houston matters a lot to those folks, too."

Also known as the Somebodysgottawinit Bowl?

Storm_71
Storm_71

I know you’re still all but hurt about the Rangers get'n the hell out of the Dodge that is your sinking ship of a station but come on. Is Texas and Houston the very best of rivalries? Maybe not but for someone who enjoys local sports (raises hand) I think it's pretty cool. I intend on making the trip down 45 to see at least one of the games in Houston. Find some other under handed jab at the Rangers. Same goes for TCU and SMU. Of course it's more times than not one sided. Why because remember the little death penalty thing?? MacFly!!!!! Hello. SMU is on the upswing it will get better. Just because a rivalry gets one sided does not mean it's not a rivalry. Speaking of one sided rivalries here's one you conveniently forgot. Last time I checked the rating looked to me like the Fail was getting the living shit kicked out it by the Ticket. Hey but as you say things are improving.

Robert
Robert

Third

The great Nestor vs the marshmallow Keith.

Rooster
Rooster

Oh, and you forgot A&M v. Texas.  It ceased to be a rivalry when A&M ceased to be relevant.

Bill Lumbergh
Bill Lumbergh

If Gilbert remains behind center, the horns will have their own relevance issues to worry about...

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