Tony Stewart at Texas Motor Speedway: Oops. And, Surprise, I Had Nothing to Do With It

TMS - rw.jpg
The bad news: Tony Stewart had a pit-road collision, was dinged for speeding and ran out of gas during Saturday night's Samsung Mobile 500 at Texas Motor Speedway.

The good news: Somehow he still managed to finish 12th.

The better news: I had very little to do with any part of it.

Yes, I was an honorary pit crew member on Stewart's No. 14 car, but my duties were limited to things like waving his pit-road "stop here" sign and fetching tires from the Goodyear trailer.

After Stewart was penalized for speeding into pit road, he ran out of gas on the last lap, fading from third to 12th place as he crossed the finish line.

On his team's radio he blared: "Sorry boys, I fucked us again."

Couple things I learned after a night "working" the pits:

*The smell of gas and rubber is almost overpowering.

*Teams pour Coca-Cola in their pit box, as to give sticky traction for crew members.

*Tires are dang expensive.

Midway through the 334-lap race a member of Stewart's team had me get two new right front tires from the Goodyear trailer. The price? $449 each. The purchase took Stewart's running Texas tab to almost $30,000.

And somehow, I signed for it.

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34 comments
Hazel Manley
Hazel Manley

looking for secrets to reduce your auto insurance premiums check out a website called "Auto Insurance Clearance" they are good

ThongNCheese
ThongNCheese

I'm a little surprised he isn't wearing jeans with holes to go along with his backwards hat.

Scruffy
Scruffy

Looks like you had a good time there little douchy!

kergo
kergo

The real kergo will no longer be posting. I blistered his ass with karate. It's gonna be all me from now on.

Greggo's coke riddled sinuses
Greggo's coke riddled sinuses

On his team's radio he blared: "Sorry boys, I fucked us again."

Isn't this what you tell Greggo and the rest of the crew after you go off the air each day?

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

Pretty cool that you got to do that. I'm not into Nascar at all but I'd jump at that chance. You guys are some dogpiling sonsabitches.

ThongNCheese
ThongNCheese

Would he be able to see over the steering wheel?

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

Because I'm weird, I wish you weren't wearing a hat. I want to see what your hair looks like a couple of months after the surgery. Seriously.

I hate NASCAR, but pouring Coke for traction is pretty smart.

Why are you pulling your pit pass to side?

If I were at my drunkest, two seconds from passing out, I could sign my name better than you signed yours.

Rooster
Rooster

NASCAR - meh.

On a semi-related note, great article this week on TMS. In a place where we normally just kick you in the balls, you deserved some props.

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

My two OBSERVERations:#1: Put your hat on right dude, you're not 12..although because of your height, you are probably mistaken as a prepubescent.#2: Bet RW's panties started flying all over the place when he heard "Sorry boys, I fucked us again."

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

Pretty sweet night that you got to have. So do you respect Nascar as a sport more than you did before?

MoronDog
MoronDog

Why is there a Hobbit in front of Tony Stewarts car?

The_Richie_Shitts
The_Richie_Shitts

dude, you are going to kick him in the nuts for the way he signs his name? who gives a shit. you are trying too hard to come up with things to bash him about now.

Yeah buddy
Yeah buddy

Why do you care? Worry about your self and you would be a lot cooler.

Tad Banyon
Tad Banyon

I never have understood the fascination with the backwards cap with white guys who should be old enough to know how stupid it looks

The_Richie_Shitts
The_Richie_Shitts

I have a fake poster!!! Is this what being a celebrity feels like?

Greggo's coke riddled sinuses
Greggo's coke riddled sinuses

Look at the bottom of the picture. Was the photo doctored to make him look taller? Just look at the fender and Goodyear tire, they don't line up.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

Bitter? Hardly. This is generally an awful blog whose writer bashes his readers on air. The dumbass comments make me laugh, which is why I come here everyday. Nothing worth getting bitter about. You can assume that I was bashing him for the handwriting all you want, but you're wrong.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

I wasn't making fun of him about it. He has a sloppy signature, that's all I was getting at. If I were to make fun of him about it, I would've said "You're short enough to be confused with a 5th grader and your handwriting might convince people that you are in grade school". If you want to nitpick about it, what's up with your screen name? That's pretty much bashing him. Hypocrite.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

Welp, you got me. I made a casual observation that crossed the line. RW, I apologize for my uncouth remark. Happy now, Richie Shitts?

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Isn't the primary function of a baseball hat to block sun from your eyes? Thus it should point forward where your eyes are. I'd figure RW more for a straight brim/with sticker still on the bottom of the brim, kicked kind of sideways like Sabathia or (insert favorite rapper name here).

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

I thought y'all were getting into a conspiracy theory, but upon further inspection..something is screwy with the bottom of the pic...like a little bit was cut off or something.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin

It looks like the whole photo was put into paint or something, none of the the lines on the car or decals are smooth. Not sure why it was edited but it sure doesnt look like it was uploaded straight from a camera into this post

Garyhinton20
Garyhinton20

90% of you arrogant fucks from Dallas come on here and try to make this blog all about you! lot of reasons why I left that fake ass city but mostly you fake ass people! get a real life d-bags

Josh's broken records
Josh's broken records

Not taking sides sirs, but I likey his team/screen name...only wish I had of thought of using it for my team. And I also wish my team was performing like either of y'alls....dang research and stuff...kicks can..

The_Richie_Shitts
The_Richie_Shitts

My name is not bashing him. He told us a story about Charles Hailey calling him Richie Shitt, so I just used that. Don't be bitter that I call you out on your shit. Like I said before, make fun of RW all you want but be good at it.

The_Richie_Shitts
The_Richie_Shitts

I never said you crossed the line...just that it was a lame thing to make fun of him about. Your goal everyday is to get on here and bash RW. Although it's really pathetic, atleast be good at it when you do it. That's all I'm saying.

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