The Grammy Awards: My Top 10 Observer-ations

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10. Was it just me or did Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Sean Combs sound just like Mike Tyson?

9. Acceptance speeches are always fascinating. Last night Lady Gaga thanked Whitney Houston and Arcade Fire thanked all of Canada. But strangest of all, Train lead singer Pat Monahan gave a shoutout to Howard Stern.

8. Craziest costume of the night easily went to Cee Lo Green, who sanitized his "Fuck You" song while dressed as a cross between a peacock, Elton John and a gladiator from 300. Then, just for fun, he was backed by a bunch of muppets and Gwyneth Paltrow. I can't explain it. Which is why it was so great.

7. The event -- which was sans host, by the way -- began with a tribute to Aretha Franklin. Not a good week for Christina Aguilera. First she forgot the words to the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLV and then last night she tripped and fell on stage. And I'm not even going to mention the fact that she had a gray tongue, as though she'd just licked the newspaper.

6. Mick Jagger and Skip Bayless obviously go to the same plastic surgeon.

5. Not that I listen to him or watch the show, but I don't think Justin Bieber would make it to the finals of American Idol. He's just a kid...with my exact, unimaginative bowl haircut from 7th grade, circa 1977. When he was singing I was sure the Nickelodeon slime was about to fall at any moment.

4. Ricky Martin wore silver parachute pants tucked into black army boots. Swear.

3. Where art thou, rock music? Nominees for Best Rock Album included Jeff Beck, Tom Petty and Neil Young. The genre should be embarrassed. Thankfully, Muse beat those geezers out.

2. Worst, most chaotic performance of the night was by Arcade Fire, which boasts two drummers, a couple inaudible fiddles and a dude yelling into a bullhorn. Oh yeah, and two BMX riders equipped with helmet cams. Next thing you know, however, they were winning Album of the Year, setting their Grammy on a speaker and playing a song while telling the who's who of music to get the heck outta the joint.

1. Lady Gaga > Lady Antebellum. I know she's weird- evidenced by her prosthetic pointy shoulders and butt implants -- but don't tell me those aren't some sexy abs and kickin' curves. Plus, anyone else notice that she ended her performance by signaling Texas Rangers fans with the Claw?

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TonyGates32
TonyGates32

Question: "3. Where art thou, rock music? Nominees for Best Rock Album included Jeff Beck, Tom Petty and Neil Young. The genre should be embarrassed. Thankfully, Muse beat those geezers out."

Evidence of:A.) Douche bagginessB.) Lack of research into the subject matterC.) Poor tasteD.) All of the above

Brad's Bathroom Barbecue
Brad's Bathroom Barbecue

...So Lady Gaga has kickin' curves and Brooklyn Decker is meh. Richie, you and I will never fight over the same woman.

Fake Conrad
Fake Conrad

The new lady gaga song was better when Madonna recorded it 25 years ago.

Just Come Out
Just Come Out

Lady Gaga has "curves"? I think richie pair more attention to Ricky Martin and his wardrobe. swear.

mbtank
mbtank

Stern has been a big Train fan for a while & they've appeared on his show numerous times. Sang a kickin' version of "Dream On" one morning.

Lady Gaga is a man. Justin Bieber is a nigh-talented boy.

Richie's Mailman
Richie's Mailman

10 - That's the first thing I thought too. The grill thingy didn't help the overall impression.1- She may be a fine musician but way overboard in the attention seeking department.

Just Me
Just Me

Does Greggo still go to ZZ Top every time they come to town?

Volta
Volta

Arcade Fire is good. The female drummer normally sings up front. The BMX thing is goofy but you are way to observant. But that's what you are paid to do. I am just glad that actual musicians won something at the Grammy's. Better them than Katy Perry. Glad to see you are showing your age today.

Robm
Robm

I didn't watch the show. I admittedly know nearly nothing about most of the music on that kind of show.

Now if hard rock, country, and a cappella become the focus of the show, I'll start watching.

Best barbershop performance would greatly improve the show, no?

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Puffy apparently isn't such a good reader. Or he was high. Or both.

Gwyneth was smoking hot last night, plus the girl can actually sing. If you're going to have muppets as part of your performance isn't a requirement to have Animal on the drums though?

I think you're right about Ricky Martin. He looked gay. Oh, wait...

Rock as a category isn't a fault of the bands, it's the academy's craptacular taste or lack thereof. They always nominate the geezers that the Hardline worships. I wanted to see Mumford & Sons perform without being saddled with South Park's Ned/Bob Dylan. Remember Steely Dan winning a bunch of awards for a give-up album? Like me some Muse, and their performance was good.

Why so serious, Em? Dude can be funny and warm too, but he was in brooding artist mode.

Loved Arcade Fire's second performance.

I really don't like Lady Gaga, but she (he?) earned some points from me for that performance. It had a very Madonna-esque vibe, but I'd guess that was intentional.

Davy Crockett
Davy Crockett

Unless you're the late, great Course of Empire, you shouldn't try the two drummer bit. As much as I don't get Arcade Fire, I don't get how people are ripping Muse. Lady Gaga showing up in an egg is exactly the kind of crap that is wrong with music. I didn't watch the show, I checked out during the Aretha Franklin garbage. Apparently, to become a diva all you have to do is sound like a cat getting sodomized by a horse.

OldManJam
OldManJam

Davy - The Grateful Dead had the market cornered on two drummers way before CoE. I think they had a pretty good gig going.

Volta
Volta

people rip Muse because of there similar sound to Radiohead. i could care less.

Rooster
Rooster

Best Rock Album - For this afternoon I predict Hardline "we-pretend-to-live-in-the-60's-in-a-desperate-attempt-at-street-cred" segment on Neil Young #1022. They will talk about how he was robbed, and how Bob Dylan should have been nominated, too.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

How right you were. They prattled on about Dylan and how Mike was rooting for Petty's crappy album (which he admitted not getting very in to) to win just because.

Corby did give love to Arcade Fire though.

P1Steven
P1Steven

After she flashed the claw, she then flashed her nut sack!

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