Super Bowl XLV Media Day: My Top 10 Observer-ations

Categories: Super Bowl XLV

SB XLV - Brooklyn Decker.jpg
Brooklyn Decker? Meh.
10. Though the NFL did its best to pamper the thousands of journalists at Tuesday's Media Day, it was still an uncomfortable experience out at Cowboys Stadium. Waiting for hyper-thorough security checks of bags and body. The 100-yard walk from security (which was conducted in a frozen tent) to the stadium. And then, the most entertaining part, the actual entrance to Cowboys Stadium. In one of those phenomenons I can't explain, entering a domed stadium creates this bizarro, backward pressure where if you open the door the air comes rushing into the building. Yesterday, combined with the north wind, this event turned into an overpowering jet stream. So when you opened the door it was easy to lose your balance lurching forward, not unlike the awkward movement when you come to the end of those moving sidewalks at the airport. Saw more than a few unsuspecting media actually fall and spill. Tried not to giggle, but I lost that battle.

9. There isn't a cockier guy on this planet than Deion Sanders.

8. There's a guy working security at Cowboys Stadium during the Super Bowl who looks exactly like Jesse Holley. I double-taked, and I saw at least two other local media-types do the same. Well, there is a lockout looming.

7. Steelers defensive end Brett Keisel is a funny dude, and it's not just the epic beard that makes him look like the old Minnesota Vikings' mascot. Asked about the most common misconception about him, he said "Contrary to reports, I do not take beard-enhancing drugs."

6. Saw a guy dressed up as some sort of superhero: tights, mask, etc. When I asked him what he was saving he responded: "Everything." Lame. Turns out he was with Petsmart or the Disney Channel or something. He was so underwhelming I forgot.

5. Check that, there isn't a cockier guy on the planet than Jay Glazer.

4. Steelers linebacker James Harrison is a badass. We already knew that, but at Media Day he took a menacing stroll -- the guy doesn't sidestep you or say he's sorry when he accidentally bumps into you -- before the Packers' session was officially over. Then, during his time on the podium, he mocked the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell. "I don't want to hurt nobody." Harrison said. "I don't want none of this rubber on this field to fly into their eye. I just want to tackle them softly on the ground and if y'all can, lay a pillow down where I'm gonna tackle them so they don't hit the ground too hard. OK, Mr. Goodell?" Translation: I want him on my team.

3. I know it's the Super Bowl and we're button-bustin' proud of the NFL's ultimate game coming to town, but having been born and bred a Cowboys fan, there's something unsettling about seeing the larger-than-life images of Aaron Rodgers and Troy Polamalu adorning Cowboys Stadium.

2. Biggest disappointment of the day was Brooklyn Decker. Maybe the bar has been raised to unreasonable heights in the wake of cajoling with Ines Sainz, but I at least expected the SI swimsuit model to be able to fill out a pair of jeans. But nope, she can't.

1. I heard a female reporter -- swear -- ask of Packers' reserve running back Dimitri Nance: "How would you describe a vagina?" His answer: "Ugly."

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8 comments
pencil
pencil

From the rear, Brooklyn Decker looks like a skinny legged, flat ass, knocked-kneed West Texas cowboy.

Bill
Bill

You commented on another blog about how sad it was seeing Earl Campbell struggling with a walker then you glorify a guy like James Harrison who was fined for using his helmet as a weapon. Haven't seen the dementia reports from former players yet have you?

Chuck G.
Chuck G.

Media day has always been and still is a wate of everyone's time. There is such an abundance of media now than there was and news is instantaneous so there is absolutely no reason for media day, It reveals nothing we don't already know and it contributes to the dumbing down of America.

Teresa
Teresa

Hilariously well-written. I enjoyed reading your take on media day; make that 11 next time! - teresa

McDoom
McDoom

Brooklyn's talent is filling a bikini top, as the ads for that gawd awful looking Adam Sandler confirm.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

If he makes it 11 it does slightly increase the odds that 4 or 5 are actually real points...

But yeah, I call plant.

Teresa's Labia
Teresa's Labia

Richie must've talked this person into coming in here to say something nice. Not going to work, Richie. This blog still sucks.

Teresa's Sister
Teresa's Sister

Scruffy, you are so funny! That was a great comment. Are there other blogs you hang out on. I like to hang out on blogs to. Isn't this fun?

Tell me when you're gonna be back on here. I've got a webcam. Once your parents go to sleep maybe I'll show you one of my boobies. Have you seen a boobie?

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