The Top 10 Shows on the New ESPN/UT Network

By Richie Whitt Thu., Jan. 20 2011 at 9:48 AM

Yesterday ESPN and Texas agree to a 20-year, $300 million deal to launch a 24-hour Longhorn network in September.

Planned programming includes sports, original series, studio shows, historical programming and academic and cultural events. More precisely ESPN/UT hopes to televise at least one exclusive football game, eight men's basketball games, women's basketball games and Olympic sports coverage.

Hmm. Got me to thinking about the most popular shows on the new network ...

10. Horny - Reality show details the romantic courtships and sexual conquests of bountiful, bovine mascot Bevo.

9. The Gene Chizik Show - Mack Brown hosts a weekly coaching show whose only guest is a coach who actually knows how to win a championship.

8. TexCess - Host Craig Way navigates viewers through a never-ending quest to determine whether the greatest UT athlete of all-time is Earl Campbell, Ricky Williams, Slater Martin, Kevin Durant, Ben Crenshaw, Johnny "Lam" Jones, Johnny "Ham" Jones or Taylor Teagarden.

7. Sixth Sense - From 2-3 a.m. each night, live cameras mounted along the corners on Austin's Sixth Street beam the drunken debauchery spilling from Austin's entertainment district.

6. UTMZ - Nightly flagship show features Longhorns' news 'n notes of the day anchored by Matthew McConaughey and Abe Lemons, accented with a Janis Joplin soundtrack and spiced with random, racy photos and videos of Farrah Fawcett, Jayne Mansfield and Renee Zellwegger.

Tags:

ESPN, Roger Clemens, Tom Hicks, University of Texas, Vince Young

Panasonic SD-YD250

Once the story proved to have legs throughout the holiday weekend, ESPN had little choice but to fire Franklin. The network should be praised for taking a stand, but the fact that it waited four days suggests that if the Franklin story had gone away quickly, he'd still have a job today.

meh

This was basically a boring post. As a UT fan I am not happy about he network (just more sign that UT is greedy).

Gnou90

Where's the "Where's Edwin Simmons' Clothes" Show?

Gnou90

Where's the Willie Zapalac Show?

Burrito Jimmy

Working with Greggo is leading you to think everyone has the same lack of short-term memory he does.

VSBB

Richie's Mailman

How about a daily show updating everyone on the various legal battles that the athletes are going through. They could lead with that day's arrests.

Mercedes or BMW would probably sponsor a show highlighting the athletes current rides.

Augie

I wondered when the first Jealous Agg would reply. Took a while, you boys still in shock? ?

ThongNCheese

Shake weight + Bevo = horrible mental image...just sayin'.

Scruffygeist

Perfect tie-in to his Horny show though.

Scruffygeist

I laughed. Sure, it wasn't at all original, but there was some comedy in there.

Are there going to be infomercials for UT-branded products? Longhorn Snuggie or UT Shakeweight, perhaps?

market 5

if u think for a second that richie doesnt listen to the ticket, then you're crazy.the Tardline is a cheap rip-off of the Musers.

this entry by richie is just another example of stealing from the ticket or espn dallas.

TheRealDirtyP1

I was in denial for a long time M5. Now it's definitely true.

Rooster

Trying to care...Trying to care...Nope...Not feeling it...

cactusflinthead

Haterrific column there. Good job.

Davy Crockett

Instead of having Chizik as "a coach who actually knows how to win a championship", wouldn't it be easier to just have an hour long show of Mack, himself? Afterall, Mack did win one.

But, you probably won't read this, so it doesn't matter what I say. So, congrats, you made me waste a bit of time.

TheRealDirtyP1

Disappointed that you're out of character this morning Davy.

Davy Crockett

I'd like to apologize to my fans, namely TheRealDirtyP1. Ol' Davy woke up with the crud. Me 'n Bowie stayed out pretty late, perchance I caught his consumption (you kids today call it tuberculosis). Jim says it's typhoid pneumonia, but Davy ain't no general practitioner. I'm fixin' to hop on Polly Finley (my horse named after my first wife who I miss so dearly) and ride into the village to visit the apothecary to see what he has for me.

TheRealDirtyP1

I know you don't listen to the Ticket but the Hardline has talked about this before and what shows would be on. Does that make it theirs and theirs alone? Not necessarily. But you're going to get ripped by the P1 on this one. If you want to start running your stories by a few of us that listen to both stations, we can probably send you our email addresses.

Mishon

I hate to break it to you, but I don't think Richie gives a fuck what anybody says about him on here. All he (and his editors) care about are that people come to his blog, and they do.