The Dumbest Cowboys Conspiracy Theory You Ever Did Hear

Categories: Dallas Cowboys

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You've heard it. Hopefully you haven't repeated it.

It goes like this:

(Spoken with a slow, twangy, red-necky, eternally frustrated drawwwwwl) "Jason Garrett sabotaged Wade Phillips. He didn't start coaching all good 'n stuff until he got Wade fired. On purpose!"

While we breathlessly await a Valley Ranch press conference to announce and anoint Garrett as the eighth head coach in the history of the Dallas Cowboys (potentially this afternoon), let me take a minute to address the lunacy of such thinking.

I've known Garrett for years professionally and a little personally, and there's nothing in his make-up to suggest anything clandestine or malicious or even the least bit unbecoming. More important, like the rest of us, isn't it the better he does his job, the better job he'll get?

Think about it. If Garrett called crappy plays on purpose, how would that help his stock? He might jeopardize getting himself fired along with his head coach.

Instead, let's give Garrett the credit he deserves. He picked up the pace at Valley Ranch. He got the players' attention. He coaxed the Cowboys to play harder and better.

And, sorry, he did it all without an ounce of undermining.


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15 comments
Awash1
Awash1

How the hell did Garrett manage to cut Wade's throat on national TV over 7 weeks and no blood shows. I could have used that method before the big divorce

Ghost of scott
Ghost of scott

Hey, Richie-

Just saw a bit of your Channel 21 thing. GREAT job. I especially liked how you were talking about the Cowboys offensive line and referred to Kosier as Kosar.

LOL at RW on tv.

Fake Wade
Fake Wade

Don't worry about whoever got me fired cause I just got a job down in Houston where my Daddy used to work.

I showed up down there today at that Asstreydome and the feller told me that they's changed the team to the Texans and they moved to the place next door. Well hell why didn't they do that a long time ago after Kenny Stabler showed up drunk for the Cleveland game and puked all over Elvin Bethea?

PS, don't tell Jerrah I'm down here because we're gonna trade up two picks in the draft to make sure he can't get Robert Quinn. Then I'll call him and say 'Hi Jerruh its me'.

Then I'll turn on the ESPN Cowboy war room video cam and watch his ears turn beet red.

kergo
kergo

Oh yeah, can't wait to watch the Patriots win #4 at the praire turd....my life will be complete. Patriots-frickin' dynasty, yeahhha hahahahahhaha wooo!

kergo
kergo

What a frigging' stupid story......even if it were true, who cares? Wade is a buffon; my 2 year old could outsmart him!

Dr. Bison
Dr. Bison

when's the next vacation, I want Sam back,

Guest
Guest

This reminds me of the consipiracy against me. How I only pitched well against good teams, like the yankees and red sox, b/c I was auditioning for them. I denied it then, but it was actually true. I would have pitched a perfect game if we had played the Phillies.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Your writing's gotten worse over time...

Malicious or not, his offense and they playcalling sucked big-time the first half of the season. Barber sweeps, repeating bubble screens, ignoring Witten completely, and more. Him having to focus on head coaching seemed to help him not over-analyze the playcalling. Hell, I'd respect Garrett more if he had undermined Wade because it didn't take a rocket scientist to tell Wade wasn't a good head coach.

I don't get your fascination with over-praising Garrett when he was a large part of the early season problem himself, but I realize this post is probably nothing more than the usual baiting type commonly used by DMN writers.

billy bob
billy bob

I can't wait for someone in another major media market to recruit the "greatness" of richie...then we will only be left w one doofball to get rid of~greg the idiot

Bob

BC
BC

So Garrett did an honest job of running a crappy offense during the first 8 games - that is so much better than intentionally doing a crappy job. Cowboy fans should feel much better now.

TheRealDirtyP1
TheRealDirtyP1

very slow. Have to hit that 3 article quota though.

sports graffiti
sports graffiti

or ESPN Game Night with Choppy and Greggo, Max Miller, The Brad Wilkerson Show (BaD Radio curse), Rocco circumnavigating Belt Line Road, Hardline Ally McBeal talk, The Gordon Keith Show, The Mark Cuban Show, Todd Archer as Ticket Ranch Reporter, Gregg and Gavin, Grandpa Urine Galloway.

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