As of Right Now, I'm Wishing Failure Upon ...

Miami Heat.jpg
Miami Thrice, enjoy your demise.
Dwyane Wade in specific. And the Miami Heat in general.

Take this lightly if you wish, but consider the career/personal plunges of my previous targets:

*Terrell Owens (cut by the Cowboys, irrelevant as Buffalo Bill).

*Tiger Woods (lost his wife, reputation and No. 1 ranking).

*Brett Favre (no ankle and/or playoff hopes along with the revelation of some uncouth sexting).

*Alex Rodriguez (struck out looking to end the Yankees' ALCS loss to Rangers).

I despise Wade for a number of reasons.

The way he crowbars a "y" where there just shouldn't be one. The way he drama-queened his way past the Mavericks in the 2006 NBA Finals - yes playing superbly but also amplifying defenders' brushes with dramatic, flailing falls. The way he tries to play so nonchalantly, as if he's so good and so cool that he can kick your ass while he's half-asleep. The way he's revered as "D-Wade," the guy who can single-handedly will teams to victory, even though since 2006 Miami hasn't won jack.

And especially the way he orchestrated LeBron James and Chris Bosh to South Beach, then yacked about winning six titles together before a ball was bounced. After the Heat lost to the Celtics last week they fell to 5-4 (is it legal to wish my failure retroactive to November 1?). So much for threatening Michael Jordan's Chicago Bulls' record of 72-10.

And then Wade had the audacity to say "we're the best 5-4 team in ...". I truly hate him.

But wait, someone else beat me to it ...

"Hallelujah, boys, is that great or what? ... How cool is that?" Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said of the Heat's cool start on 103.3 ESPN the other day. "Now, they could still turn it around and win out for all that matters, but you're starting to see some of the problems. Any team with a strong, big guy that can score, they're getting abused by. Paul Millsap goes out and pulls a Tracy McGrady. What, Tracy McGrady scored 13 and 30 and Paul Millsap scores 11 in 29 seconds or something like that? They just don't have size to battle. They have the fewest points in the paint of any team and that's tough. ... My buddy Dan Gilbert is smiling all the way, too. Again, it's early in the season and you never quite know how it's going to play out, but how glorious."

Amen brother.


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