The Drive From Dallas to San Antonio: My Top 10 Observations
10. There is no easy way to get onto I35 south from 75. On Woodall Rogers there is down-to-one-lane construction and falling walls. And I've been jammed too many times by the 75-to-I30 three-lanes-merging-into-one cluster-eff. Suggestions?
9. As soon as you cross the Trinity River heading south, things, um, change. Driving habits. Types of cars. Vibe. It's almost like crossing a state line. (And this coming from a boy who grew up in Duncanville.)
8. Carl's Corner used to be cool. Now it's Willie's Place. Haven't heard a lot about BioFuels lately.
7. I've been to the famous Czech Stop in West before. One of the most overrated places on Earth. Everything they serve is basically really fattening bread with different types of icing in, on or around the bread. What am I missing?
6. Don't remember exactly where it was, but I saw a billboard of George Dubya Bush with the headline "Do you miss me yet?" I rolled down my window, yelled "Hell no!" and continued driving.
5. I've been to those Natural Bridge Caverns, but never stopped by the snake farm. Anyone?
4. Rarely use my cruise control, but Sunday I was the only one around for miles and miles when I took the 130 Toll Road "shortcut" around Austin. It's a longer route and you miss seeing the university, capitol, etc., but Austin traffic can bite you at any time. Day or night.
3. There's a place along 35 that looks like a giant statue flea market. There's a big gorilla statue and, yes, of course, a giant cock. I'm sure you've seen it.
2. Michael Irvin once claimed he made the drive from Dallas to Austin for Cowboys' camp in two hours. Still don't believe him.
1. San Antonio's interesting and all, but of all the Cowboys' campsites give me Austin. The St. Edward's University camps were all outside and at night, well, you're in Austin. Last on the list: Wichita Falls.