White Flight: The Most Dangerous Drivers on the Road
Been working on it for a while, nurturing it from a fleeting thought to a flimsy premise all the way up to a working, rational theory.
Here it is: There are no more aggressive, dangerous drivers on Metroplex highways than those in white pickups. I know, 18-wheelers and motorcycles. Yadda, yadda and more yadda.
I leave my house in McKinney roundabout 5:30 a.m. Every day, almost without fail, as I'm driving south on 75 I am passed by a slew of pickup trucks, at least a handful of them white. Distinction? The white ones, for whatever reason, are more likely to flash their lights in an attempt to get me to move over and more likely to speedweave in and out of traffic. I remind you, this all before 6 a.m.
This morning, sure enough, a white pickup passed me in Plano just a couple minutes before in Richardson traffic was briefly backed up because of a wreck involving - you guessed it - a white pickup.
Finally, as I exited - that's exited - 75 for CBS Radio headquarters two bright headlights flew up behind me. I'm going like 70, gradually decelerating to around 40 because I wholly intend to merge issue-free onto the access road and then fully stop at the red light. But the - one more time - white truck had other ideas. So it whips around me and briefly back into the right lane of the highway before cutting in front of me on the ramp and speeding to the light, where a couple seconds later I pulled up beside it to hear - I shit you not - the distinctive baritone of Kenny Chesney.
Allow me to expound ...
I might be wrong, but I predict that most - not all - drivers of white pickups are in those vehicles out of necessity and not choice. They're some of the most basic, generic, cheapest machines on the road.
A lot of these drivers live in rural areas - hi, Fairview! - and are probably not happy about having to drive into the big city for a job they don't particularly like. Oh, and they're fans of NASCAR. Throw those elements into the pot and, presto, aggressive driver. Dangerous driver. Or, worse, dangerous, chainsaw-weilding killers.
Test my theory. Betcha this week you either:
A) Get tailgated by a white truck.
B) See a white truck pulled over for speeding.
C) See an accident/near-accident involving a white truck.
Either my theory is on point, or perhaps it's simply that there are more white pickups on the road than anything else. What do I know?