Whitt's End: 5.22.09

Categories: Whitt's End

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*You'll have to savor this offering like a cow with its cud, because this morning I'm headed out to the Byron Nelson to chug margaritas and chase girls in The Pavilion watch golf and conduct research for next week's column in the Observer's print product. Allow me an excused absence?

*First it was Bill Parcells. Now it appears Tony Romo's going to avoid referring to Terrell Owens by name. And you thought Corby Davidson was polarizing?

*During the NBA Playoffs on TNT I've been mesmerized by this cool Heineken commercial. Just once in my life I want to have that much fun in a cab. To show you how lame I am, I went searching for that hot, new song that, turns out, came out in 1989. How did I miss the Biz Markie era?

*Best trade in Metroplex sports history: Herschel Walker or Mark Teixeira? In 1989 the Cowboys sent Walker to the Minnesota Vikings for five players (Issiac Holt, Jesse Solomon, Darrin Nelson, David Howard and Alex Stewart) and six draft picks they eventually parlayed into Emmitt Smith, Darren Woodson, Russell Maryland and Kevin Smith). In 2007 the Rangers sent Teixeira and reliever Ron Mahay to the Atlanta Braves for Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Elvis Andrus, Matt Harrison, Neftali Feliz and Beau Jones. Not bad, but not close to the Herschel Heist.

*Call me a commie, but looks to me like the only difference between Memorial Day and Veterans' Day is, um, death.

*Still not sure what to make of MMA, but I know I'm kinda excited about Saturday's night UFC 98: Evans vs. Machida. Give me The Dragon over Sugar. Look for a blow-by-blow recap on here sooner. Or perhaps later.

*I'm prepared to forgive Michael Vick. You?

*The new ESPN documentary is called Kobe: Doin' Work. In my world, I try to use one word instead of two. Especially when it's grammatically correct. It should be Kobe: Working. Would your short film, for example, be called Doin' Sex, or Effing? No surprise that it took Spike Lee less than five minutes to give himself credit for Kobe's success and - in turn - me less than five minutes to tune out. How'd it end? Does Kobe live?

*In general, there are no ugly "studs" and no beautiful "sluts".

*Hot.

*Not.

*I realize they're not playing major roles, but wasn't it frustrating for Mavs fans to turn on Game 1 of Lakers-Nuggets and see L.A. throw two, athletic big men on the court named Josh Powell and D.J. Mbenga?

*Bottom line about the collapse of the Cowboys' practice tent that left Rich Behm paralyzed: A structure built for inclement weather didn't stand up to inclement weather.

*Among the unscathed survivors from that day is Scott, a 15-year-old high-school intern at DallasCowboys.com who was attending/working his first practice. Wow.

*Poignant line in Megan Feldman's wonderful cover story from last week: "The more you sweat in peace, the less you'll bleed in battle." Sports translation: You more harden your body and fortify your mind by going for a run when it's 101 degrees than 71. Right, Jimmy Johnson?

*The King Tut exhibit left town last week. Raise your hand if you knew it had arrived. I envision crowds generally smaller than FC Dallas gatherings.

*I'm usually pretty dismissive of sideline reporters, but ESPN's Doris Burke gets the thumbs up. I even liked her as the analyst on Mavs-Nuggets Game 3. Smart. Snappy. Solid.

*When they're completed, why don't we call buildings "builts"?

*Jon Gruden to Monday Night Football: Poor bastards are still - 30 years later - searchin' for Don Meredith aren't they?

*While you're grilling out and remembering fallen soldiers this Memorial Day Weekend, I'll be yapping about sports and non-sense on 105.3 The Fan Saturday afternoon 4-7, Sunday morning 8-11 and Monday night 7-10. Save me some leftovers.

Peace be with you.

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