Whitt's End: 5.15.09

Categories: Whitt's End

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Whether you're at the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:

*Of the Texas Rangers' hot start - they are 20-14 compared to 14-20 last year - the most amazing feat is pitcher Matt Harrison's back-to-back complete games. If you're looking for Nolan Ryan's stamp on this team, there it is. The Rangers had only five complete games last year and none in '07. Ryan, who had six complete games for the Rangers as a 42-year-old and once threw 239 pitches in a game as a New York Met, demands his pitchers throw deeper into games. Manager Ron Washington is merely following orders. So far, so great.

*As you read here first, Greg Williams is officially out at ESPN Radio. Haven't talked to him yet, but a mutual friend says he's doing okay and is determined to get back into radio in some form at some point. As for ESPN's 7-10 p.m. slot, the frontrunner to replace Greggo alongside R.J. Choppy is Wally Lynn. I've also heard Mike Fisher's voice on there multiple times this week. Do I smell a 570 AM KLIF reunion?

*Give you a million guesses who emailed me with a biting criticism of my Greggo coverage. (Jump for answer.)

*With the Cowboys and now the Miss Texas pageant moving to Arlington, how long until we start referring to our home as DAFW?

*In news that made me giggle, the U.S.-Japan women's soccer game scheduled for May 20 at Frisco's Pizza Hut Park has been cancelled on account of, yep, Swine Flu. Both fans that purchased a ticket have been promised a full refund. But really now, by Wednesday won't we already be knee-deep in our next fake fear?

*Yes, thanks for asking, I do have a huge problem with Tony Romo's off-season. The Cowboys' quarterback spent last week trying to qualify for the U.S. Open. Why? If he would've made the tournament - in New York June 18-21 - it would've conflicted with a team minicamp. Yes he gets to have a personal life and he can play all the golf he wants. But Romo is paid $67 million not to have a hobby that conflicts with his day job. Okay?

*Nuggets' coach George Karl can yap all he wants about the Mavs' AAC crowd being supposedly boorish, but my nickel says no way in hell was the Denver contingency merely one big innocent victim. Total bullshit. That said, Mark Cuban does have to accept responsibility for setting a poor example of how to respond to adversity.

*Jason Kidd did not have a double-digit assist game in the playoffs. I find that amazing, especially considering his team shot 48 percent and averaged 107 points per game against the Nuggets. I also find this amazing. Amazingly horrible.

*The overly loud talker is one of the most annoying species on our planet. I was at the grocery store and - from two aisles away, mind you - I heard a guy proclaiming "I'll just text you and let's get this thing done!". My question: Are these people deaf, dorky or just starving for attention?

*Speaking of things I don't get: The guy driving with the seat laying all the way back and the guy who drives with his right arm outstretched along the top of the passer seat. One's sleepy and the other has an imaginary girlfriend? Okay, then you tell me.

*Turns out Dirk was partaking in the sloppy seconds of a former Cowboys' quarterback. Yuck.

*Hot.

*Not.

*Rocco Pendola. I know, weird.

*Want a stat that will you drive you crazy in these troubled economic times? The U.S. Army is spending $11 million this season sponsoring Ryan Newman's #39 NASCAR car. Can't imagine a bigger waste of money. Son at Texas Motor Speedway: "Dad, I'm tired of watching cars go in circles." Dad: "Huh? Get me another beer." Son: "Screw this, I'm going to ... cool, go into the Army!" Dad: "Hey look, boobies!"

*Couple of you are on me for tooting my own horn too loudly in the wake of Nuggets in 5. Okay, let's balance these scales. I totally whiffed on predicting Mike Modano's retirement from your Dallas Stars. He'll be back in 2009-10. Happy now?

*If you can fight through the superfluous male frontal nudity, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a funny movie.

*Beer companies are convinced we're idiots. This week I've seen one of them promoting "Drinkability", another boasting an "air-tight cap" and a third marketing its product as "cold." Huh? Put them all together and you get a cold, fresh beer that you can drink. I guess we're supposed to be excited by that concept? If I was Coors Light's ad agency, I'd hire these two. No slogan necessary.

*For those of you into that sort of thing, I'll take my regular radio seat Sunday 8 a.m.-Noon on 105.3 The Fan. For those of you that don't care, I'll be there anyway.

*Peace be with you.


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