You've probably seen Twilight. You likely watched at least some of HBO's TrueBlood. And, considering it's suddenly trendy to be all vampirey, you've at least tinkered with the idea of checking out the new Vampire Lounge over on Harry Hines.

   But, have you ever seen a real vampire? And, of course, the more important question:

   Wouldja? - Richie Whitt

   *Cowboys 34, Seahawks 9. Toldja.

   *Isn't it great to have a quarterback who makes plays when plays aren't there to be made? I'm thankful, Tony Romo. Very thankful.

   *Turkey sure was good, but the digestion process and my blowout-induced nap was uncomfortably disrupted by Marion Barber's right foot and DeMarcus Ware's left knee.

   *Example No. 1,046 of why we don't need sideline reporters: Fox's Pam Oliver reported that Ware had ice on his "right" knee. Sorry Pam, right is wrong.

   *I must have missed something, but when did Andre Gurode morph into Charlie Hough? What's up with all the off-speed, knuckleball shotgun snaps?

   *On the best, most empowering, feel-good day of my life, I was only about 1/100th as cocky as Fox analyst Joe Buck. Is there any doubt that when taking the photo with Troy Aikman and The Jonas Brothers, Buck was convinced he was the star of the shot?

   *Speaking of Buck, was everyone -- including Aikman -- afraid to correct him when in the first quarter he inexplicably said that Jason Garrett "lost to Brett Favre and the Packers" in the '94 Thanksgiving game? (Update: Finally Buck sheepishly corrected his gaffe in the fourth quarter. Of course, even then he blamed it on Aikman.)

   *Anybody else get a little giggle from the fact that Terrell Owens finished with only 98 receiving yards? At least our lil' ploy worked.

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   I could get my premature Scrooge on and predict that Pacman Jones showing up at last night's Mavericks-Pacers game is a precursor to him - surprise! - eschewing voluntary house arrest to ultimately find more trouble.

   But I won't do that. Not today. On Thanksgiving eve let's just be thankful that Pacman has zero chance of screwing up tomorrow's win over Seattle that should continue a tasty trend that has seen Dallas go 25-14-1 all-time on Turkey Day, including 5-2 on Fox.

   He also has no way of upstaging The Jonas Brothers, or injecting himself into The Top 10 Most Memorable Cowboys' Thanksgiving Games:

10. 11.27.69 Cowboys 24, 49ers 24. Craig Morton's touchdown pass to Lance Rentzel with three minutes remaining salvages a tie in the Cotton Bowl.

9. 11.26.87 Vikings 44, Cowboys 38 (OT) -- Darrin Nelson's run overcomes Danny White's five touchdowns and drops 5-6 Dallas out of the playoffs.

8. 11.24.05 Broncos 24, Cowboys 21 (OT). After Billy Cundiff misses a 34-yard field goal late in regulation, Denver's Ron Dayne sets up  the heartbreak loss with a 55-yard rumble.

7. 11.23.06 Cowboys 38, Buccaneers 10. Tony Romo's ascension from free agent to superstar gains traction as his five touchdowns lead Dallas into first place in the NFC East.

6. 11.26.98 Vikings 46, Cowboys 36. Rookie receiver Randy Moss haunts the team that passed over him in the draft with three touchdowns and 163 yards receiving.
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   My son hates green beans.

   Faced with a plate of them, he'll eat a couple, suck on a couple more, tear two or three apart and, ultimately, smash/push his veggies into a pile and pronounce: "Done!"

   Unless, of course, I consult the Parenting 101 guide and resort to reverse psychology. (Insert evil grin, rubbing evil hands together.) This is how I get him to eat his green beans:

   "I knew you couldn't do it. Only strong boys with big muscles can finish all their green beans. Good try, but you just can't do it. Oh well, maybe next time. Until then, the world needs florists, too."

   By the time I leave the kitchen I hear another "Done!!" Of course this time, his plate is empty.

   Light bulb!

   Terrell Owens isn't, in fact, smarter than a 6th-grader.
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   If Boot Town can go out of business in Texas and if home builder D.R. Horton can lose $800 million and have its stock price shoot up because it's not that bad, then in this absurd, quirky financial climate anything's possible.

   Even, perhaps, a winning streak? A colossal comeback from the cusp of Chapter 7?

   Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Two wins in a row have afforded me a little ammunition, but I'm still a Christmas miracle from our wish of females on Ferraris under the tree.

   This week seems simple. The Cowboys are on a roll. The Seahawks have rolled over.More >>

   *If you've noticed some quirky fonts or crooked pictures this week it's because Sportatorium is taking a fancy schmancy new software program for a test drive. Cool thing for you customers is that if you see a pic you'd like to see even bigger - like, I dunno, maybe the one just to the left that gives OU girls equal time - all you do is click on it. Presto. Magnification! ...

   *You know Dirk Nowitzki was named NBA Player of the Week. What you didn't know is that he's won the honor nine times. And that, at 24.7 points per game, he's all the way up to fourth in  the league in scoring. Bet you a nickel he tops that tonight against the Pacers ...

   *I thought the Stars were done after Brenden Morrow's injury. Now, with the loss of Steve Ott and Jere Lehtinen for significant time, they're officially buried. In case you quit paying attention, Dallas has the fewest points and wins in the NHL ...

   *This is what you call an ominous footnote: Kyle Kosier will likely miss Thursday's game against Seattle. With him in uniform the Cowboys are 5-0. Without him they are, um, sucky ...More >>

Donovan McNabb benched? Matt Cassel with back-to-back 400-yard games? Just when you think the quarterback world has gone crazier than George Clooney, Tony Romo finally returns to being, well, Tony Romo.

   Moving around in the pocket to produce 341 yards and three touchdowns.

   Moving up in the rankings to produce more  cries of "Homer!".

32. Ryan Fitzpatrick -  Bengals

31. Matt Hassellbeck - Seahawks

30. Marc Bulger - Rams

29. Tyler Thigpen - Chiefs

28. JaMarcus Russell - Raiders

27. Sage Rosenfels - Texans

26. Daunte Culpepper - Lions

25. Joe Flacco - Ravens

24. Shaun Hill - 49ers

23. Kyle Orton - Bears

22. Brady Quinn - Browns

21. Trent Edwards - Bills

20. David Garrard - Jaguars

19. Donovan McNabb - Eagles

18. Gus Frerotte - Vikings

17. Jeff Garcia - Buccaneers

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What I gleaned amidst the crooners and cleavage:

*Former Stone Temple Pilots' front man Scott Wieland is (still) on something.

*Paris Hilton is (still) annoying.

*Mariah Carey is (still) hot.

*Jamie Foxx is cocky with a capital 'K'.

*Kanye West wants to be Elvis. Making the feat even more unlikely, he's apparently he's going to try it while dressed like a rodeo clown. - Richie Whitt

   Okay, not really. But we can dream, right?

 

   Because if Pacman Jones did get his own show with The Ticket's informative and entertaining Bob Sturm and Dan McDowell, the corrupt Cowboy returning to practice at Valley Ranch today would mysteriously fall on hard times and slink quietly out of town.

 

   Like, for example:

 

   Former Ranger Brad Wilkerson, former Star Bill Guerin, former Ranger Gabe Kapler, former Cowboy Dan Campbell, former Mav Nick Van Exel, former/current a-hole Bobby Knight and former Cowboy Drew Bledsoe.

 

   Each those poor schmucks was naïve enough to think they could have their own weekly show on BaD Radio and live to tell about it. Seems The Curse of the Bambino, The Curse of the Billy Goat, the Sports Illustrated jinx and The Superman Curse have nothing on this most toxic strain called The BaD Radio Curse.

 

   It claimed a new victim last week, and is on the verge of ravaging yet another.

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