FJ Cruiser

Categories: Dallas Cowboys
After a week in maddening moth balls, his star is re-born.

The web site says the sporty truckster is loaded with a “youthful, contemporary spirit."

This here blog says the running back comes fully equipped with “hole-eee-shiiiiiiiiiit.”

Felix Jones = FJ Cruiser.

In an ugly, 31-22 escape from the Cincinnati Bungles in which Tony Romo emitted a horrible body language more suited for night watchman at the crematorium, Terrell Owens produced quality over quantity, Pacman Jones displayed hands like Hibachi skillets, Keith Davis shockingly made a key defensive play and a Miles Austin drop somehow turned into a Patrick Crayton touchdown, the Cowboys proved they could win on a day that was as much "peculiar" as it was "off."

Furthermore, last week’s freeze-out of Jones was confirmed as the biggest blunder of offensive coordinator Jason Garrett’s career.

Now hear this: In every game the Cowboys fail to hand and throw the ball to Jones multiple times, they will thoroughly deserve to lose. (Also, if Wade Phillips ever again utters that nonsense about Felix not being a good fit in come-from-behind plays, he should tar-and-feathered right on the spot.)

The dude has “it.” As in get-to-the-corner speed. As in dart in-and-out moves without ever down-shifting to a lower speed. As in you know the defense is dreading seeing him in the game because he has the uncanny ability to take it to the house on every stinking play.

On a first-quarter 4th-and-4 yesterday, Jones took a pitch from Romo and channeled Usain Bolt, racing 33 yards untouched and, basically, unseen. But even more impressive was his fourth-quarter 18-yard gallop in which he broke the ankles of hapless would-be tackler David Jones with a nifty zig-in, then zaaaag-out maneuver.

Seriously, the Cowboys haven’t had a running back this shifty smooth since, hmmm, Tony Dorsett?

After a dazzling nine carries for 96 yards, Jones has now ran 27 times for 244 yards and three touchdowns. How’s 9 yards-per-rush hit ya? And, don’t forget his 98-yard kickoff return.

So, you still want this guy over Felix the Phat? -- Richie Whitt

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