Prepared to be dazzled. Or disgusted. Depends on your perspective, I guess.

Pacman Jones is full of … tricks.

On Monday the dude caught six punts, storing each ball in a different part of his torso, without ever dropping one. Tuesday he was fielding kickoffs with one hand. And yesterday he showed up with blood-red eyes, courtesy of tinted, prescription, Nike contacts.

“Truth is I’m blind, real blind,” Pacman said after Wednesday’s afternoon workout. “These things really knock out the glare. Contacts are cool, because I’m scared of Lasik.”

While denting the eye black industry and opening up the snarky critics to take “blood-shot eyes” wisecracks, Jones has been a model camper. Wednesday he spoke to lowly reporters after practice, put his arm around owner Jerry Jones and tossed fans his white do-rag after signing autographs.

“I’m having so much fun again,” Pacman said. “I missed this game more than I ever thought I could.”

For more observations, ready, set … jump:

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Roy Williams, a Pro Bowler? Horse hockey. You might say.

I don’t trust Roy Williams. But I do trust Dave Campo.

And Campo, the former Cowboys’ head coach who’s back as the team’s secondary coach, says we’ll see the “old Roy Williams” again this year.

“From watching film of him last year to how he’s performing in camp, he’s improved dramatically,” Campo told me after Wednesday’s practice here in Oxnard.

Really? What could a 5-time Pro Bowl selection possibly need to improve on? I jest, of course. The guy sucked so bad last year he was yanked off the field in passing downs.

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Not even a clever caption can negate the putrid aspects of my photography.

Whew.

Pro Bowl pass rusher DeMarcus Ware left practice early this morning, but it looked like nothing serious. He either tweaked his back or took a blow to the head during full-pads scrimmage. But he walked off the field under his own power, seemingly with all his extremities functioning properly.

More Wednesday morning observations:

*I don’t say this often so clip and save: Nice column today by Jean-Jacques Taylor of Dallas’ Only Daily. I was thinking just yesterday as I chatted with secondary coach Dave Campo how nice it was to be able to talk with assistant coaches. Under belligerent Bill, remember, assistants were under a gag order. He’d bring in old Giants Jim Burt and Carl Banks and I remember writing how it was insulting to have a head coach who cherished the Giants’ past more than the Cowboys’ present. He’s gone and lookie who’s here: Nate Newton, Michael Irvin, Erik Williams, Duane Thomas, James Washington, Larry Lacewell, Gil Brandt … Refreshing I say.

*It’s a little alarming, all the balls being dropped by receivers. Rookie tight end Martellus Bennett botched an easy one this morning, Isaiah Stanback had two hands on two balls that wound up on the ground and Patrick Crayton had a catch punched loose by Roy Williams. A little too reminiscent of the playoff loss to New York if you know what I mean.

*Let me just say this, Tank Johnson is a beast. Rookie running back Felix Jones trying to block him was the mismatch of camp.

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Better than Brad Johnson, spleen or no.

In news that the Fort Worth Star-Telegram first reported earlier this month and the St. Petersburg Times touched on again yesterday, the Cowboys are seriously considering a trade for former University of Texas and current Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Chris Simms.

A source told me Tuesday that the Cowboys would be “cheating the team” if they left the backup duties to 40-something Brad Johnson.

“We’re waiting on Chris,” said the source. “Waiting on the price to be right. We know we need to do something.”

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Who showed up and instantly started haunting my Super Bowl dreams? One guess.

The news-making earthquake turned out to be little more than a casual Texas thunderstorm. After a brief "drop, duck and cover", this is what I survived to see on Tuesday afternoon:

*Cornerback Terence Newman’s strained groin will keep him out three weeks. I say the Cowboys better keep an even closer watch on Pacman Jones, who just became even more valuable.

*The familiar face strolling the sidelines this afternoon? Gil Brandt? Nate Newton? Michael Irvin? Duane Thomas? All here indeed. But this one was none other than former scouting director and forever Jerry Jones crony Larry Lacewell. He’s here as a consultant, same role he served for the Saints two summers ago. “I got them to the NFC Championship Game, so let’s see if I can work my magic here,” Lacewell joked. Proving he’s still got it, Lacewell finished an ESPN Radio interview with Dale Hansen by slugging him in the shoulder and remarking “Switzer said to tell you ‘Hi’.” Touché.

*The Cowboys are careful not to yap about the Super Bowl per se, but with all the accolades being tossed around they’d better win the damn game by three touchdowns. I’ve only been here two days but I’ve already heard that this year’s team has the best coaching staff in Jerry’s 20 years, the best kicking game in club history and, most recently, the best depth since the ‘90s dynasty. “No doubt,” Jerry said. “It’s the best depth we’ve had since we won our last Super Bowl.” Added Lacewell, “Getting the same results, now that’s a different story. But, frankly, yes, I see comparable talent to the teams in the ‘90s. These guys already had all the ingredients and they went out and added three impact players in Tank Johnson, Pacman and Zach Thomas.”

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How 'bout that? A real California Quake!

Thanks for not a single one of you asking, but I’m okay. Myself and the Cowboys somehow survived the 5.4 magnitude earthquake that rumbled through southern California at 11:42 this morning.

The epicenter is Chino Hills, which is east of downtown Los Angeles and about 90 miles southeast of Oxnard. The Cowboys practice here at 2:30 and I’ll ask around to see if anyone else sensed it. Fox 4’s Mike Doocy said he felt a little rumble while interviewing Jason Witten, but, honestly, I didn’t hear or feel a thing. (Though it is creating havoc with my cell phone and Internet.)

If I did feel anything, I’d probably just think it was Butch Johnson, ya know, doing his California Quake. -- Richie Whitt

Terence Newman has a groin injury. I have a really crappy camera.

I’ve received lots of suggestions on what you guys wanna know about Cowboys’ camp – How’s Felix Jones look? Can Zach Thomas still play? What’s up with Jerry’s hat? – so the best way to attack this thing is by diving in blurb-by-bloggin'-blurb.

My initial observations after Monday’s afternoon workout here in Oxnard, which took place in temperatures about 30 degrees cooler than back home:

*I’m continually amazed at how each year camp gets bigger. Back in my days as a beat writer for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, head coach Jimmy Johnson held his post-practice press conferences in Austin atop a red, plastic crate used to tote Coca-Cola bottles. This year, Wade Phillips sits on a grand stage – a Built Ford Tough stage, of course -- seemingly prepared for the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

*Pro Bowl cornerback Terence Newman pulled a groin Monday morning. Doesn’t seem serious – he was out at the afternoon practice yucking it up – but considering he missed the first two games last season after a training camp injury (foot), it’s a little disconcerting.

*First player on the field was Adam “Pacman” Jones, who skipped – yes, skipped – all by his lonesome up and down the field before his teammates arrived for joint stretching.

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Relax, both coaches could be talking to Tony Romo again next season.

I’ll serve up a smorgasbord of training camp insights later this morning, but wanted to get to the news of the day first.

Contrary to the asinine sentiments of some columnists, this isn't guaranteed to be Wade Phillips' last season as head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Shoot, he might not even have to win the Super Bowl to keep his job.

So says owner Jerry Jones, who I cornered after yesterday’s afternoon practice here in Oxnard. (Hey, gotta hit the ground running, right?)

“It’s not a Super Bowl issue,” Jones said of Phillips’ status. “Winning the Super Bowl is not the criteria. “It’s just plain wrong to say that if we don’t win the Super Bowl then Wade doesn’t keep his job. That's not even a thought for me.”

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Yeah, but can she make up for miles and miles of ugly?

So I’m driving to visit my cousin in a Fort Worth hospital yesterday morning when all the sudden it hits me:

Hang your head in shame, Tom Landry. Hang your head.

Because, don’t look now – no, really, don’t look – Interstate 30 headed west out of Dallas to Arlington (better known as Tom Landry Highway) is suddenly the country’s ugliest stretch of freeway. If you haven’t driven it in a while, here’s the Cliff’s Notes:

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Obviously you guys get turned on by tuning in.

I repeat, I’m not an Ed Bark starter kit attempting to become Dallas’ radio beat reporter.

But, then again – in the essence of “the customer is always right” – here’s the latest news that filled my email and voice mail while I was outta the country.

*Greg Williams – perhaps you’ve heard of him -- no-showed as a presenter at our Dallas Observer Music Awards show at The Granada last week. When I called him out about leaving us hanging, Hammer said he mistakenly thought the show was Aug. 22 instead of July 22. At best, that’s lame. At worst, well …

*99.5 The Wolf fired Tara Ward and Justin Frazell from its morning show last week but retained lead persona Smokey Rivers. You’ll have to form your own opinions as Richie thinks country music < silence. But considering Justin is an ol’ buddy, I could make a snarky remark about his signature “See ya down the road”, but I’ll pass.

*93.3 The Bone also apparently made some changes, firing Cindy Skull (I’m thinking that ain’t her real name) and Robert Miguel (That’s gotta be his real name). I admit, there's absolutley zero sportsy about that transaction.

With Pugs & Kelly gone from Live 105.3, Russ Martin in limbo and all sorts of stations in various personnel upheaval, if I’m a wanna-be radio voice in this city I’m spending my Monday dropping off resumes and tapes around the city. But, of course, that’s just me.

A sportswriter. Remember? -- Richie Whitt

This just in: No one is flawless.

As you read this I’m likely flying to Oxnard, Calif. where – promise – the Cowboys blogging will commence Tuesday morning if not sooner. But first, a little vacation catch-up.

While I was braving 80-degree weather in upstate New York and Canada, you guys were … going bonkers?

On the heels of over 600 combined comments related to the Greg Williams/Ticket saga, my breaking news item on Russ Martin has generated another 600ish.

I’ll admit, I haven’t read every one of them yet. But my initial reaction: Scared. Okay, flattered and scared.

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As Richie's out of town, here's the latest on the Russ Martin arrest. The Dallas Morning News' Web site, in a story about a protective order issued against the Live 105.3 FM show host, offers only the Southlake Police Department's media advisory, which doesn't go into any detail at all. Meanwhile, Jay Gormley and the KTVT-Channel 11 Web site offer far, far more substance -- including the entire four-page arrest warrant affidavit, which goes into substantive detail concerning not only the arrest, but the alleged events of July 14 that lead to the Friday-morning arrest -- including mention of an Internal Revenue Service audit.

Indeed, it's the alleged audit that the the complainant says caused Martin to assault her; she alleges he pulled out chunks of her hair, kicked her in the left thigh and brandished a Glock. According to the affidavit, on July 14, Martin called the woman and asked if she had followed up about a package he sent to the IRS. When she told him she had not, the document says, he allegedly told her, among other things, "You better hide, because when I get there I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Martin has denied the allegations, and he appears to be taking the matter very lightly: Until it was altered this afternoon, his MySpace page featured his mug shot. --Robert Wilonsky

Capping a rough couple weeks for local radio personalities, try this mug shot on for size.

As I’m packing to leave town tonight I get a call from a radio industry source saying Live 105.3 drive-time host Russ Martin was arrested Friday morning in Southlake for assaulting his girlfriend.

Sure enough.

It's not really sportsy, and I'm not sure when or why I became a radio beat writer, but it didn’t feel right to have this knowledge and not share it. On the heels of The Ticket’s Hard Lie, Live 105.3 has had a rough itself week with two hosts – Pugs & Kelly – departing and one arrested.

I leave this information in your capable hands. -- Richie Whitt

Now where I'd put my barrel?

Yeah, I know, feels like I just got back from vacation. But you know what they say in the corporate media world, "use ‘em or lose ‘em".

They do say that, right?

While I’m gone you might wanna check out our Dallas Observer Music Awards show next Tuesday night and Chandler Jackson Night with the Frisco RoughRiders July 26, and – betcha a nickel – the beginning of the end for your Texas Rangers.

The good news: My next blog item will come from Oxnard, California, and it will officially be football season. -- Richie Whitt

Appearing live next Tuesday at an awards show near you!

Since you’ll have to go cold turkey while I’m on vacation next week, thought I’d empty out my Hammer notebook before I skedaddle.

Talked to Greggo last night – he was in Decatur serving as executor of his dad’s will, which meant figuring out what to do with seven boats and four Cadillacs – and he had some good news and an intriguing hint.

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