If this ball went foul, we'd be waiting another three minutes for a pitch.

I see your Texas Rangers continued to hover around .500 in my absence. Which is a good, amazing, frustrating thing.

Tonight they try (again) to get two games above .500 for the first time in the Ron Washington era. Which reminds me, considering the job the manager is doing is there any reason for management to get their contingency list out of the drawer and make a change at the All-Star break?

No way.

With the energetic, effective infusions of players like Eric Hurley, Brandon Boggs, Max Ramirez and Chris Davis, the Rangers are a more entertaining team these days. And without Jarrod Saltalamacchia in the lineup, they are a much quicker team.

I did manage to catch part of a game while on vacation, but I’ll be honest, I barely made it through Salty’s at-bats without hurling my stopwatch at the TV. No kidding, this is the guy’s right-handed routine after every friggin’ pitch (yes, even if he doesn’t swing):

Back to the grindstone.

Ok, so where were we?

First, a review of my week-long sabbatical:

Dad’s house: Painted.

Guadalupe River: Cold.

Hootie & The Blowfish: Eh.

As for sports, I'm playing catch-up today. The thing that has first struck me is that the Mavs nabbed a nice player with the 51st overall pick last week.

If I don't make it back, hey, it's been fun.

We need to talk. Actually, no, we need a break. How about one, then the other?

Been at this sports blogging thing going on eight weeks. So far, so swimmingly. I write, you read. I write some more, you correct my mistakes. I write still more, you sometimes feel moved to write back.

Hate to break our momentum with a 20-second timeout, but it’s vacation time at Ye Ol’ Sportatorium. Next week I’ll be floating the river in New Braunfels, attending a concert by this guy and painting my dad’s house. Swear, I couldn’t make up that cumbersome of a trifecta.

Dude's reputation has taken a hit.

Despite his horrible post-season and his humiliating pot statements, Mavericks forward Josh Howard is ready to show his face around town again.

Fittingly, at a discounted rate. His stock and his image are at all-time lows.

I won’t be able to attend the first annual Josh Howard Basketball Camp next Monday through Friday at The Sportsplex on Alpha Road. Neither, apparently, will many kids. The camp, which benefits Josh’s foundation, recently slashed its price from $260 to $210.

Never a good sign. What, parents aren’t convinced their kids should get “life skills” from a guy who'd ideally change his uniform number from 5 to 420?

Terry Glenn's leverage is running on empty.

It’s preposterous to think the Cowboys will release veteran receiver Terry Glenn. Why? First of all, they need him. Secondly, they have him.

As in, over a barrel.

Before pondering anything else about Glenn’s trials and tribs during minicamp, remember this: Last year he made $6 million and played in two games. That’s owner Jerry Jones’ negotiating stance, and Jerry usually gets what he wants.

Glenn had two surgeries on his right knee last year and now the Cowboys want him to sign an injury waiver contingency contract of $500,000 in case he hurts the knee again. If not, he makes $1.75 million.

Honestly, I don’t see Glenn’s leverage.

Sure they'll score tons of points, but are you convinced?

The Cowboys are having a mini-camp. Terrell Owens is making headlines. And, a sure sign that football season has indeed arrived in the middle of the June, this morning I got my grubby little hands on Dave Campbell’s 2008 Texas Football.

On the “Best in Texas” cover: Would you believe, Texas Tech? Yep. Coach Mike Leach, flanked by quarterback Graham Harrell and Dallas product/All-American receiver Michael Crabtree. (Priceless pic on page 17 of the players flashing Tech’s “Guns Up!” hand sign, while the indifferent Leach sports his gun kinda half-ass sideways.)

The cover story, written by Dallas’ Only Daily columnist Kevin Sherrington, picks Tech to win the Big 12.

Other notable forecasts: West Virginia’s Pat White to win the Heisman, Georgia to take the national championship and Euless Trinity to win the 5A high-school title.

Fall isn't exactly in the air, but it did just get a smidge cooler. -- Richie Whitt

Tiger Woods: 3 minor knee surgeries, 14 major championships.

With news today that he needs another knee surgery and time to heal a broken leg, Tiger Woods’ U.S. Open victory just became even more miraculous. In conjunction, Dallas golf guru Hank Haney just got jiggy with the "clear" button on his Palm Pilot. And our summer just became a little more bummer.

(Also, in case you've been invloved in this debate lately, it chalks another one up for the humans over horses. Big Brown cracks a hoof and finishes last; Tiger suffers torn ligaments and a stress fracture and still wins. So there.)

With the British Open and PGA Championship now reduced to consolation prizes, the TV forecast the next two months reads as follows: Clear, hot and dry, with a high of Wimbledon in two weeks, the baseball All-Star Game in a month and scattered Rangers games possible. Accumulations of two or more not likely.

In retrospect, last night's title was won last summer.

Three things I guarantee after last night watching the Celtics, not surprisingly, beat the Lakers for the NBA Championship:

1. Kobe Bryant isn’t, in fact, Michael Jordan. In the clincher, he went 22 minutes between baskets.

2. Coaching, I repeat, coaching is the most overrated aspect of sports. Last year the Celtics went 24-58 and missed the playoffs under the guidance of Doc Rivers. This year they acquire Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, and suddenly we’re supposed to trumpet Rivers as some sort of genius? I don’t think so.

3. If, and hopefully when, Dirk Nowitzki finally leads the Mavericks to a title, his post-game celebration will be much more classy and coherent than Garnett’s. The Celtics’ star screamed that he was “certified”, that he was on “top of the world!” and – in a bizarre channeling of Joe Namath – told ABC’s Michelle Tafoya “you look good tonight, girl.” W. T. F.?! -- Richie Whitt

Another season. Another empty spot on the Mavs' mantle.

The basketball season officially ends tonight, when the Celtics beat the Lakers in Boston and win the NBA Championship. In a tense, low-scoring game, gimme the Celtics minus the five, under the 191.

For entertainment only, of course.

Then, finally, we can get on to the business of watching Mark Cuban feud some more with Don Nelson and lamenting the fact that the Mavs have no first-round pick in next week’s draft.

Can James Gist possibly be the key to getting over the hump? -- Richie Whitt

Somehow, the Rangers don't miss this guy's big bat.

The Rangers have trotted out Ben Broussard, Chris Shelton and maybe soon even Hank Blalock to his old position. And in last month’s draft they picked the next him.

But dig a little deeper – just a level or two down in the minors – and the trading of first baseman Mark Teixeira looks like a home run for GM Jon Daniels.

The deal, made last July 31, was officially Teixeira and middle reliever Ron Mahay to the Atlanta Braves for catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia and four minor leaguers. With Teixeira making his first return to Rangers Ballpark tonight, seems like as good a time as any for some hardball analysis.

Shall we?