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The Sighs of Texas Are Upon Us

Thu May 08, 2008 at 12:00:14 PM

Was reading this the other day. Then this. And this.

When it struck me: For all its greats and glories, the University of Texas spits out some real goofballs.

To be fair, Cedric Benson may prove to be innocent and Roger Clemens may not have taken steroids and Tom Hicks may win trophies this year as a soccer and hockey owner. Still, it wasn't too hard to jot down a quickie Top 5 list of Longhorn losers.

I’m sure they’re others. Right, Aggie fans?

5. Cedric Benson – Got handcuffed off his own boat for being drunk and disorderly on Lake Travis

4. Chris Jessie – Mack Brown’s step-son thought it a swell idea to touch a live football in Holiday Bowl

3. Ricky Williams – Heisman Trophy and NCAA rushing record lost amidst cloud of marijuana smoke

2. Tom Hicks – Filthy-rich genius is loathed in both the Rangers’ Arlington and Liverpool’s Anfield

1. Roger Clemens – Steroids? Adultery? Public apologies. Has an icon ever fallen farther faster? -- Richie Whitt

3 Comments:

artie says:

One theory, from people with some knowledge of UT's football ways: Mack Brown has created an extremely insulated program, a football team in its own little world. Which produces wins. ... but young men not quite ready for the real world of sober boating.

ceedat says:

There is mounting evidence that Benson's boating arrest was the result of some good old fashion racism. I'm sure that doesn't matter though.

Liles says:

With Jerry Jones penchant for turning Valley Ranch into a halfway house for the mug-shot set, I figured Ricky Williams would surely have ended up in a Cowboys uni by now.

Wonder is Master P still handles his biz. (Come to think of it, I wonder if Master P or Ricky Williams are even still alive...)

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