Wonder if SMU AD Steve Orsini has an extra $400k laying around. Just in case.

SMU football coach June Jones is going back to Hawaii. Relax. It’s just so he can avoid re-paying his former employer a cool $400,000.

The University of Hawaii thinks Jones owes it the cash – half his annual paycheck while turning the Warriors from bitch-slapees to BCS big boys – for terminating his five-year contract before its June 30 expiration date. Jones, making a healthy $2 million on The Hilltop, disagrees, claiming he had a legally amended agreement with former athletic director Herman Frazier that waived the penalty. The AD was fired the day after Jones left Hawaii for SMU.

Since Jones’ agent, Leigh Steinberg, promises he has detailed emails from Frazier about the agreement and since such changes are allowed under UH rules, SMU’s boss seems in the clear. Mediation is set for June 9th in Honolulu.

Expect Jones to win. After all, he’s no dummy.

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Sometimes, despite having no punch line or manufacturing no local angle, I stumble upon stories just too good not to share.

Like, say, this one. -- Richie Whitt

'Scuse me, Avery. I believe that's my chair.

With TNT analyst Doug Collins apparently the Chicago Bulls’ choice and former Mavericks player Elston Turner jumping to the front of the line in the Phoenix Suns’ search, it’s looking more and more like Avery Johnson will have to slum it next year without a coaching gig.

Somehow, methinks he’ll scrape by on the $4 million still owed him by owner Mark Cuban.

Johnson, who’s become a nightly staple on TNT and ESPN’s studio sets, would take Cuban off the hook should he land a network job. Until then, these peculiar car ads are the only press conferences he’s going to hold.

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Does part of you think we may never see this again? Me too.

Terry Glenn needs a hug. And, as usual, Greg Ellis needs his blanky, his passy and, for good measure, a muzzle.

One of the most discernable announcements of football season, Ellis is again unhappy with something or another out at Valley Ranch. Insert yawn, eye rolling and dismissive shrug. When the season gets underway Ellis will be his happy, quarterback-harassing self.

With Glenn, we’re not so sure.

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Cowboys' pass-rusher Greg Ellis and Pulp Fiction's Jules Winnfield.

Yay or nay? -- Richie Whitt

May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underoos.

When I was kid I loved Johnny Carson’s “Carnac the Magnificent”. Not so much the billowy, festooned headwear, but more the connect-the-dots humor. And as an adult (sorta), I dig this game.

Fuse the two at the 21st-Century cyber-hip and – ta-da! – a new Sportatorium staple. Or perhaps, a one-and-done experiment. You decide.

Answer: Josh Hamilton, Justine Henin and Avery Johnson.

(Hint: Jump for the question.)

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Madeja look.

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is at it again. Ya know, being everywhere all the time right now. But this time, we’re going to have an awfully tough time working up some criticism.

His latest “it guy” project isn’t jetting off to Cancun or jumping on stage or polluting a microphone or playing golf or dating/dumping/dating Jessica Simpson. On Father’s Day – June 15th at 4 p.m. – Romo and 13 other celebrity athletes will take part in CBS’ "Who Made You?", a totally legit-looking one-hour special in which legendary broadcaster Dick Enberg will interview Romo, Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Cal Ripken Jr., Shaquille O’Neal, Danica Patrick, Adrian Peterson and others about how their dads helped shaped their lives and careers.

Considering that All-Star lineup, this is one time we’d rather Romo not be at Valley Ranch. -- Richie Whitt

Last time we saw a Ranger on the cover gas was $1.20 and this guy was a high-school sophomore.

You haven’t even made it to your afternoon smoke break and already the Rangers have again failed to summit Mount Mediocrity.

For the fourth time in the last two weeks Texas needed a win to get above .500. And for the fourth time it lost, this time 5-3 to Tampa Bay.

At 27-28, the Rangers still have spent just one day – when they were 5-4 in early April – with a winning record in the Ron Washington era.

Today, in a game that actually started this morning, the Rangers were handcuffed by somebody named Matt Garza. And, of course, that pesky Sports Illustrated jinx.

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The beast that ate Dallas.

Is it possible to up and move a river? Because if so, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones will slap a “wide load” banner on the Trinity River project and steer it toward Tarrant County any day now. And the JFK museum, and Deep Ellum and the 2010 NBA All-Star Game.

In surprising news along the lines of facial hair on a President, Jerry has a basketball Jones and Mavs owner Mark Cuban is actually considering hosting an All-Star Game. Not in American Airlines Center, of course, but in the Cowboys’ new $1.1 billion stadium in Arlington we affectionately have dubbed "Jonestown."

More Kool-Aid, anyone?

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Enough with the flirting.

Dear Mr. Cuban,

Please don’t do it. I know you love baseball and the spotlight and you have more money than Sri Lanka, but don’t buy the Chicago Cubs.

I know you’re more than thinking about it. You want it. And I don’t blame you. It’s one of the coolest franchises on this whole rock. No doubt you’d go in there, spend like crazy, become a Bleacher Bum, transform the loveable losers into winners and wind up owning the north side of Chitown.

MFFLers shudder at the thought.

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David Stanley

When you think Penn State football, it’s Joe Paterno. Texas? Gotta go with Earl Campbell. Boise State? Blue astroturf. Boston College? Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary in the Orange Bowl. SMU?

Hmmm. Can I phone a friend?

In a confusing-yet-intriguing promo, CBS College Sports TV is somehow, I think, teaming up with ESPN SportsNation to identify the Face of the Program for all college football schools. With some, pinpointing an iconic image is a no-brainer. With our heroes on The Hilltop, however, CSTV/CBS/ESPN apparently needs a little help.

Mark ... get set ... jump for My Top 10:

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Okay, enough grab-ass. On our way back to the grindstone, a little catching up:

*Tony and Jessica are apparently the happiest un-couple ever.

*Pacman Jones worked out at SMU yesterday and will wear No. 21 as a Cowboy. I guess No. $20,000 was taken.

*Former Stars’ architect Doug Armstrong is up for the GM gig in Toronto. Other than Brad Richards, Dallas is still his team.

*The Rangers are 8-0-1 in their last nine series. But to keep the streak alive they’ll have to win tonight and tomorrow against – huh? – the best team in baseball?

*I hope you’re sitting down. Hank Blalock isn’t healthy.

*Dallas Baptist University’s baseball team is the first independent to make the NCAA Tournament in 16 years. I’d like to get excited, but there’s something hollow about May Madness.

*And, of course, it’s never too early for college football bowl predictions. Is it? -- Richie Whitt

The Top 5 things I command, okay request, you to do over the Memorial Day Weekend. Yes, there will be a pop quiz Tuesday morning.

1. Fly this.

2. Drink this.

3. Eat these.

4. Try to tell this guy from this guy. No wonder the Cowboys landed Super Bowl XLV and the "commish" reinstating Pacman Jones is a done deal.

5. Watch this Monday night at 10. Sports anchor Derek Castillo will present the gripping story I wrote about back in 2005. It’s the tear-jerking tale of a Frisco 12-year-old, Chandler Jackson, killed in a freak golf club accident. Almost three years since her son’s death, Charmane Jackson is turning tragedy into triumph in the form of a fruitful foundation while also bringing a lawsuit against the manufacturer of what she claims are unsafe kids’ clubs. Must-see TV.

P.S. The Stars are about to sign head coach Dave Tippett to a three-year contract extension. So, I guess tip one back for him, eh? -- Richie Whitt

The Texas Rangers just announced that colorful color analyst Tom Grieve will undergo prostate surgery and miss 2-3 weeks of the team's TV broadcasts.

They say these things are pretty common these days -- Mavs head coach Don Nelson and Rangers hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo come to mind -- but it's never minor surgery if it's happening to you, right?

Grieve, 60, who has served for 14 years as the Rangers' TV analyst after a long career as a player and member of the team’s front office, will have the surgery June 9. He will continue to broadcast through the Sunday, June 8, game against Tampa Bay at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.

Says Grieve, "Many men my age find themselves in this situation. I am told the odds for a complete recovery are very good. I have complete confidence in my doctors, and have every expectation of being back in the booth two to three weeks after surgery. While I’m out, I’ll be watching every inning of every game and hope we’re in first place when I settle back in.”

Victor Rojas, the Rangers radio analyst, will fill in for Grieve on television, joining Josh Lewin; and Steve Busby, the former major league pitcher who anchors the Rangers pre- and post-game TV programs, will join Eric Nadel in the radio booth.

Here's hoping Tom's stay on the DL is a short one. -- Richie Whitt

class="blogImageCaption">Longest road trip in Mustangs' history?

If ZZ Top can appear on American Idol, I guess anything’s possible. Even SMU’s basketball team embarking on an African Tour.

The squad, led by head coach Matt Doherty, leaves Sunday for a 12-day trip to Senegal and South Africa. Why? Good will. Recruiting. Opponents they can actually beat.

SMU, including Senegalese players Bamba Fall and Papa Dia, took an anthropology class called People of Africa and will keep online journals of their trip. They’ll take tours of Johannesburg, zip past Nelson Mandela’s house and go on a safari in Dakar. Oh yeah, they’ll also play three exhibition games before returning June 5.

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