The Weirdest Valentine's Gifts on Dallas Craigslist, #20-11

Categories: WTF?

valentine14.jpg
At least it's clean.

If you're buying your Valentine's Day gifts for your loved ones off of Craigslist, then you may not be doing it right. However, if you're selling things on Craigslist, you might be able to see why you would try to tie said crap you are flogging to the upcoming capitalist festival of love and happiness. Today, we count down from number 20 to number 11 on our list of ridiculous things we found on Dallas Craigslist.

A quick perusal of Dallas Craigslist reveals a veritable cornucopia of utter rubbish that you could purchase for the special person in your life, if you so desired. Whether they would talk to you or not afterward is another matter. Click on any image to enlarge it.

More »

Bring Bob Costas Back RTFNow

Categories: WTF?

Bob-Costas_2.jpg
EYEBALLZ.
Bob Costas, two nights ago, you won the Olympics. You were sitting there, with your double broken eyes, listening to one of those boring in-between-actual-events stories that Mary Carillo is forced by producers to do so that the world can take a bathroom break.

And when the story was over, that's when you became the most amazing human on TV. You invited a reluctant Mary Carillo to take a shot of vodka with you, even though your bleeding eyes -- only held in your head by your designer glasses -- were saying, "DEAR GOD, DON'T ADD BOOZE TO THIS DYING SYSTEM," and households around the globe cheered.

We wondered if your doctors would have approved of that. Then we double wondered if you even had doctors. It's 2014: How did we get here? You're a fancy pants TV reporter man who must have access to all of the fanciest medical technologies. And yet, for days, you can't get your eyeballs back. Why haven't you raided the medicine cabinet of any mother of any toddler on the globe for their hoarded prescription pink-eye-go-away drops by this point? Is Visine on vacation?

It was a glorious moment of fuck-it-itude in the midst of pain and worldwide embarrassment. And for that, Bob Costas, you win everything. When you said, "POUR ME ANOTHER," you won all the gold.


More »

Welcome to Night Vale Will Creep You Out Live at the Lakewood Theater in March

Categories: WTF?

welcome-to-night-vale.jpg
Courtesy of Commonplace Books

The creepy town where dogs and people aren't allowed in the dog park because of mysterious hooded figures and the sun seems to have trouble setting on time is coming to our neck of the woods.

Commonplace Books is doing a live recording tour of their popular radio-style podcast Welcome to Night Vale. Host Cecil Baldwin will record an episode of the podcast at 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 14, at the Lakewood Theater, where every seat in the house has already been sold.

That shouldn't surprise any of Night Vale's dedicated listeners. It's an insanely creative take on anthology-style sci-fi and horror that presents the exploits of a weird, little American town through the blank stare of a local radio broadcast that keeps the populace on top of all the goings-on in their community. The creepy part comes from how straight the show's host and random guests relay the bizarre happenings and announcements as if they are common occurrences, like the local Navajo painting exhibition at the school's art museum or the free swine flu inoculations at the local clinic. It isn't just a great form of storytelling. It's also a great sleep deterrent.

Julian Assange at SXSW -- Here Are Some Conspiracy Theories

Categories: WTF?

Julian-Assange-body.jpg
Courtesy of SXSW
America's second favorite committer of treason, Julian Assange, is to speak and be interviewed at SXSW on March 8, the Austin mega-fest has announced. Obviously he won't actually be there, as he has been a geographical prisoner since 2012, trapped inside the Ecuadorean embassy in London by a now presumably very bored police force.

SXSW had this to say:-

The anti-censorship activist will engage in this extremely rare public interview to discuss the pervasive spread of surveillance, advantages and abuses of the digital age, and the future of democracy.

Now, I have several theories relating as to why this is happening. Conspiracy theories, if you will.

More »

5 Unique Gift Ideas from Local Businesses for Your Last-Minute Christmas Gift List

Categories: WTF?

gifts.jpg
Photo courtesy of Jennifer C./Flickr

Right now, the world's procrastinators and the just plain lazy are sitting in their homes in fear of the world they'll have to face if they don't want to look like the chintziest cheapskate at their family Christmas get-together. They've put off going to the malls or the stores for so long that they've built bigger and bigger armies of their procrastinating brethren who'll crawl over each other like ants descending on a crumb of chocolate for the last toaster oven. They are cursing themselves for not using the self-defense class certificate they got last year from an obscure relative. They can't stand the thought of possibly committing, being the victim of or being charged with assault just so they can buy a gift for the brother-in-law they won't see until Easter or his next court date, whichever comes first.

If you're a member of this group, there's no need to start dipping into the adult egg nog early. There are actually some weird and interesting gift ideas that are original and don't involve fighting your way through a crowded mall. Best of all, they are from local businesses, so for once your laziness can benefit a local business instead of helping one of the Walmart heirs buy another gold spit bucket.

More »

A Visit From A Krampus Fulfilled Ancient Denton Prophecy

krampus6695.jpg
Photo by Ed Steele
As was prophesied upon primitive bathroom walls and select Laffy Taffy wrappers, A Krampus arrived in Denton yestereve. He flexed his musky, destructive prowess, then proceeded to enslave wayward youth while generously bestowing gifts upon his more cherished. A Krampus then proceeded to fulfill His destiny by unlatching the netherportal to home planet Cleon. Ancient seals were blown. Thunder ice poured. All were consumed.

None of that really matters now.

As our news blog so dutifully reported last night, Denton was absorbed by purple hues at roughly 19:45. The only remaining sign of life is one, solitary bassist. (If anyone can help him find his van, he would be very appreciative.)

Farewell Denton, our sweet prince. May thou icy tomb preserve your youthful beauty.

Photographer Ed Steele bravely walked alongside A Krampus, capturing His deviant wrath.

See Also: Live Blog: Winter Storm Cleon Is Coming For All Of Us

More »

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fought Crime, Ate Pizza in Deep Ellum Last Night (Photos)

Categories: Photo Geek, WTF?

tmntpizza.JPG
At Serious Pizza, naturally.

Four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shuffled awkwardly through Deep Ellum last night. They posed for photos in front of the neighborhood's iconic murals, searched out crime along its back alleys and pulled out their signature fighting moves inside Serious Pizza.

Everywhere they ventured, pedestrians cheered.

The turtle suits were all made by Derick Winsett. The ongoing project spanned about two years and involved building original casts, then molding the shapes out of high quality silicone. You can see documentation of his work here. Photographer Jacob King wore Winsett's early prototype of Michelangelo last year for Halloween and helped repay the favor by assisting in the painting of this newer orange model and lending hands to some logistical issues (weapons, harnesses, belt and pads). Winsett went on to complete his cast. Now that the series is wrapped, the friends took the turtles out for a spin on the town, with Winsett adjusting his costumes while King caught the magic on film.

All of these turtles are hand-painted, use special studio-quality eyes and are collectively worth about $20,000.

Interestingly Winsett doesn't have a background in costume-building. He works at his family's construction company and says making these half-shell crime fighters was a creative outlet. When I asked King why he took on the project he shrugged and said "Why not? I really like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

However these turtle suits found their way into this world I think we can all agree that Dallas is a much more magical place because they exist.

Here are some candids of the crew on their Deep Ellum stake out.

More »

(UPDATED) Denton Children's Advocacy Group Director Refuses Tattooed Moms' Donation

stacyandherkids.jpg
Photo by Danny Gallagher
Mother and Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas founder Stacy Willingham spends time with her kids, 5-year-old Cole and 2-year-old Stella, and two massive dogs Zeus and Allie.

UPDATE, 2:40 p.m.: Dan Leal, the center's executive director, emailed us this statement this afternoon:

"The Children's Advocacy Center for Denton County appreciated the generous offer made by the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas organization; however, the money was raised with a pin up calendar that could be perceived by some as sexual in nature and our Children's Advocacy Center's mission is to provide justice and healing for children who are the victims of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, we could not accept the proceeds of this pin up calendar's sales because of the calendar's possible perception, and not the hard working mothers who sponsored it."

Original story follows:

Stacy Willingham of Denton, a freelance writer and mother of two very active kids, had trouble fitting in with the square, un-inked, Red State of mind of some pockets of suburban Texas motherhood. She birthed her youngest daughter Stella in 2011 and like most moms, she needed other moms to talk to about trying to juggle a life, a career and two kids.

She described it as an unfriendly experience.

"They acted like I was stupid for being so stressed out, for lack of a better word," Willingham said as she tries to keep her oldest son Cole from making an old fashioned stack of mud pies in their backyard. "They ridiculed me for being open and talkative and I don't get it. ... I just wanted other moms to talk to."

Stacy also has two arms full of carefully sketched tattoos, and like most of her tattooed hippie mommas, she said they also had trouble fitting into "traditional" mom groups. So they got together and formed the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas. It quickly spawned other chapters across the region, the state, the rest of the country and even in London. They started using their awesome, new-found mommy powers to start fundraisers to raise money for nonprofit groups of their choosing. That honor would have gone to the Children's Advocacy Center of Denton County but Development Director Stacie Wainscott declined their offer "due to the conservative nature of our organization," according to an email sent to Willingham.

"It's total bullshit," Stacy said.

More »

Do You Believe in Ghosts? Five Actual "Haunted" Places Around DFW

Categories: Halloween, WTF?

reindeer_manor.jpg
Courtesy of Reindeer Manor

Come Halloween time, the fearless will drag their easily scared friends to one of any number of haunted house attractions to enjoy the adrenaline that the body produces when its fight or flight instincts kick in and makes them briefly wonder if they've lost control over their digestive systems.

However, just like sex, Elvis concerts and humor derived from other people's pain, nothing's better than the real thing.

Like most cities with pockets of dark histories and legends, Dallas has a ton of buildings and landmarks with stories of ghostly beings wandering the halls and whispered voices beckoning to the living. Even if you're not a believer of ghosts, the mere presence of a haunting legend can turn any place into an ominous and dark environment that can render the steeliest of nerves into quivering jelly.

Dallas author and writer Rita Cook grew up with ghosts since her mother was a "ghost magnet" for spooks and specters in her Oak Cliff home. She compiled all of the spooky stories and settings she could in three books including one titled simply Haunted Dallas. She talked to Mixmaster about her five most memorable haunting investigations around town that could make the scariest haunted attraction look like a walk through Macy's linens section.

More »

Damnit Uber: Dallas Needs Kitten Delivery

Categories: WTF?

catday.jpg
Cheezeburger.com
If you live in Seattle, San Francisco or New York today, you're the luckiest mother fucker on the planet. In those markets Uber has paired up with meme blog Cheezeburger to deliver adorable kittens to anyone wanting 15 minutes of playtime -- today only -- from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Also in tow? A complimentary cupcake from Ace of Cakes.

It's a measure to promote National Cat Day (real) and all of those adorable, tiny-pawed kittens are available for adoption, chaperoned around by loving adoption handlers. The cost of this service is $20 and proceeds go to area shelters.

But, dear Dallas, don't bother searching your Uber app for the special "KITTEN!" option. We don't get it. Not this year, anyway.

See Also: Cat Writing Is Totally a Real Profession, Says This Dallas Conference

See Also: Brace Yourself For Adorableness: A Cat Circus Is Coming

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Health & Beauty

Medical Research

Loading...