A Visit From A Krampus Fulfilled Ancient Denton Prophecy

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Photo by Ed Steele
As was prophesied upon primitive bathroom walls and select Laffy Taffy wrappers, A Krampus arrived in Denton yestereve. He flexed his musky, destructive prowess, then proceeded to enslave wayward youth while generously bestowing gifts upon his more cherished. A Krampus then proceeded to fulfill His destiny by unlatching the netherportal to home planet Cleon. Ancient seals were blown. Thunder ice poured. All were consumed.

None of that really matters now.

As our news blog so dutifully reported last night, Denton was absorbed by purple hues at roughly 19:45. The only remaining sign of life is one, solitary bassist. (If anyone can help him find his van, he would be very appreciative.)

Farewell Denton, our sweet prince. May thou icy tomb preserve your youthful beauty.

Photographer Ed Steele bravely walked alongside A Krampus, capturing His deviant wrath.

See Also: Live Blog: Winter Storm Cleon Is Coming For All Of Us

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fought Crime, Ate Pizza in Deep Ellum Last Night (Photos)

Categories: Photo Geek, WTF?

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At Serious Pizza, naturally.

Four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shuffled awkwardly through Deep Ellum last night. They posed for photos in front of the neighborhood's iconic murals, searched out crime along its back alleys and pulled out their signature fighting moves inside Serious Pizza.

Everywhere they ventured, pedestrians cheered.

The turtle suits were all made by Derick Winsett. The ongoing project spanned about two years and involved building original casts, then molding the shapes out of high quality silicone. You can see documentation of his work here. Photographer Jacob King wore Winsett's early prototype of Michelangelo last year for Halloween and helped repay the favor by assisting in the painting of this newer orange model and lending hands to some logistical issues (weapons, harnesses, belt and pads). Winsett went on to complete his cast. Now that the series is wrapped, the friends took the turtles out for a spin on the town, with Winsett adjusting his costumes while King caught the magic on film.

All of these turtles are hand-painted, use special studio-quality eyes and are collectively worth about $20,000.

Interestingly Winsett doesn't have a background in costume-building. He works at his family's construction company and says making these half-shell crime fighters was a creative outlet. When I asked King why he took on the project he shrugged and said "Why not? I really like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

However these turtle suits found their way into this world I think we can all agree that Dallas is a much more magical place because they exist.

Here are some candids of the crew on their Deep Ellum stake out.

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(UPDATED) Denton Children's Advocacy Group Director Refuses Tattooed Moms' Donation

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Photo by Danny Gallagher
Mother and Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas founder Stacy Willingham spends time with her kids, 5-year-old Cole and 2-year-old Stella, and two massive dogs Zeus and Allie.

UPDATE, 2:40 p.m.: Dan Leal, the center's executive director, emailed us this statement this afternoon:

"The Children's Advocacy Center for Denton County appreciated the generous offer made by the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas organization; however, the money was raised with a pin up calendar that could be perceived by some as sexual in nature and our Children's Advocacy Center's mission is to provide justice and healing for children who are the victims of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, we could not accept the proceeds of this pin up calendar's sales because of the calendar's possible perception, and not the hard working mothers who sponsored it."

Original story follows:

Stacy Willingham of Denton, a freelance writer and mother of two very active kids, had trouble fitting in with the square, un-inked, Red State of mind of some pockets of suburban Texas motherhood. She birthed her youngest daughter Stella in 2011 and like most moms, she needed other moms to talk to about trying to juggle a life, a career and two kids.

She described it as an unfriendly experience.

"They acted like I was stupid for being so stressed out, for lack of a better word," Willingham said as she tries to keep her oldest son Cole from making an old fashioned stack of mud pies in their backyard. "They ridiculed me for being open and talkative and I don't get it. ... I just wanted other moms to talk to."

Stacy also has two arms full of carefully sketched tattoos, and like most of her tattooed hippie mommas, she said they also had trouble fitting into "traditional" mom groups. So they got together and formed the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas. It quickly spawned other chapters across the region, the state, the rest of the country and even in London. They started using their awesome, new-found mommy powers to start fundraisers to raise money for nonprofit groups of their choosing. That honor would have gone to the Children's Advocacy Center of Denton County but Development Director Stacie Wainscott declined their offer "due to the conservative nature of our organization," according to an email sent to Willingham.

"It's total bullshit," Stacy said.

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Do You Believe in Ghosts? Five Actual "Haunted" Places Around DFW

Categories: Halloween, WTF?

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Courtesy of Reindeer Manor

Come Halloween time, the fearless will drag their easily scared friends to one of any number of haunted house attractions to enjoy the adrenaline that the body produces when its fight or flight instincts kick in and makes them briefly wonder if they've lost control over their digestive systems.

However, just like sex, Elvis concerts and humor derived from other people's pain, nothing's better than the real thing.

Like most cities with pockets of dark histories and legends, Dallas has a ton of buildings and landmarks with stories of ghostly beings wandering the halls and whispered voices beckoning to the living. Even if you're not a believer of ghosts, the mere presence of a haunting legend can turn any place into an ominous and dark environment that can render the steeliest of nerves into quivering jelly.

Dallas author and writer Rita Cook grew up with ghosts since her mother was a "ghost magnet" for spooks and specters in her Oak Cliff home. She compiled all of the spooky stories and settings she could in three books including one titled simply Haunted Dallas. She talked to Mixmaster about her five most memorable haunting investigations around town that could make the scariest haunted attraction look like a walk through Macy's linens section.

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Damnit Uber: Dallas Needs Kitten Delivery

Categories: WTF?

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Cheezeburger.com
If you live in Seattle, San Francisco or New York today, you're the luckiest mother fucker on the planet. In those markets Uber has paired up with meme blog Cheezeburger to deliver adorable kittens to anyone wanting 15 minutes of playtime -- today only -- from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Also in tow? A complimentary cupcake from Ace of Cakes.

It's a measure to promote National Cat Day (real) and all of those adorable, tiny-pawed kittens are available for adoption, chaperoned around by loving adoption handlers. The cost of this service is $20 and proceeds go to area shelters.

But, dear Dallas, don't bother searching your Uber app for the special "KITTEN!" option. We don't get it. Not this year, anyway.

See Also: Cat Writing Is Totally a Real Profession, Says This Dallas Conference

See Also: Brace Yourself For Adorableness: A Cat Circus Is Coming

"Toons & Tease" Plans to Take Your Saturday Morning Memories Far Away from TV Territory

Categories: Dance, WTF?

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Is that a carrot in your pocket, doc?
Guys, admit it. Part of you thought it was kind of hot when Bugs Bunny dressed up like a woman to trick dumb ol' Elmer Fudd. Perhaps it's because you subconsciously felt bad for Mr. Fudd since he's clearly lonely and in need of companionship thanks to years of inadequacy and pent up sexual aggression.

The point is that Saturday morning cartoons weren't as pure as our parents probably thought they were or even would have liked them to be. Back then, they may have been designed with kids in mind or the young at heart but they still came from the mind of a human, usually males with drives to propagate the species just like the rest of us. Some of the classic Tex Avery shorts featured a sultry, short skirted woman using what the good Lord of hand drawn animation gave her to outfox a wily wolf. Sweet, loveable Doug Funnie carried a torch for the typical girl next door, Patti Mayonnaise -- if your girl next door had massive feet and wore the same outfit everyday. April O'Neal is the only logical reason why so many young boys spent so many hours turning a bunch of anthropomorphic turtles into a massive media franchise.

This makes it the perfect territory for burlesque to tackle, and Saturday's Toons & Tease show aims to do just that. Pin-up model and comic culture aficionado Taffeta Darling will host this cavalcade of looney lusciousness at 8 p.m. at Three Links on Elm Street in Deep Ellum. The show will feature burlesque babes such as Femme Vivre LaRouge, Angi B. Lovely and Black Mariah doing signature dances based on your Saturday morning favorites and a post-performance by Iron Belly OD.

Those who are planning to attend are also encouraged to wear their pajamas or favorite character costumes to relive their childhood and remember when getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday was something you actually looked forward to.

The 13 Greatest WTF Moments in Professional Wrestling History

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Who cares what The Rock is cooking? Hogan made pasta!
It's been 12 years since a fire took the home of North Texas professional wrestling, the famed Dallas Sportatorium, thus extinguishing the notion of North Texas as a hotbed for dudes in underwear fake-punching each other.

Before Sportatorium's demise, professional wrestling was already limping along, thanks to the Dallas-based World Class Championship Wrestling's folding more than a decade earlier. Since then, "wrasslin'" has again found its legs. The once-named WWF went national; made a ton of money; changed its title to WWE; gave us a top-grossing action movie star; and generally pissed off right-wing television pundits with its over-the-top story lines.

Saturday, WWE Live takes over the AAC so we've gone down the rabbit hole and put together a list of the most WTF moments in wrestling history. Get ready folks, it's about to get real Dadaist up in this blog.

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Ultimate Warrior Meets Arsenio Hall
Cocaine is a hell of a drug (or maybe it's the coffee?). At least Arsenio survived -- when Andy Kaufman and Richard Belzar appeared on talk shows with wrestlers, they both got "injured." And it's not like they did what Aresino did and shaded the wrestler's drug use during the whole interview. This isn't even the weirdest thing the Ultimate Warrior has done; back in 2003, he spoke to College Republicans about campaign fundraising. C-Span was there, and the video is amazing. He also did a bunch of bizarre commercials for Westway Ford back when he was wrestling in Dallas in the '80s. More »

Lewisville is Finally Getting Its Own My Little Pony Convention

Categories: WTF?

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Most of us have a love or obsession with something that we'd rather not tell other people about because we fear being judged or called names. Some people cultivate those loves or obsessions for that very reason -- because it makes them unique and they love telling you about it so they can see the face you make, the one that makes you look like you are witnessing some kind of instructional video on animal husbandry.

So far be it from me to point out how weird it might seem that grown men would have an obsession with collecting something girly like "My Little Pony" or the fact that they have massive conventions that are aimed specifically at the adult male side of the toy's massive fan base. Resist the urge to try to psychoanalyze the reasons behind why guys who look like truck drivers and construction workers have garages filled with unopened "Soarin" dolls or rare play sets that would look more at home in a daycare center for girls. In other words, just roll with it when Lewisville's Brony-Fest 2014 lands in March.

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Come Back Swinging: The Anger Room Reopens in a Smashing New South Dallas Location

Categories: WTF?

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Danny Gallagher
Anger Room founder and owner Donna Alexander and two of her toughest employees, a pair of fiberglass mannequins

Almost two years ago, Donna Alexander came up with one of the weirdest business proposals to ever land on the Dallas Chamber of Commerce's desk. She wanted to charge people to stand in a room with a blunt object filled with appliances, furniture and other breakable objects and let them wail on whatever wandered into their fields of vision until it was no longer recognizable.

And since breaking stuff makes the neanderthal that lives in our DNA as giddy as an overly hairy schoolgirl whether we admit it or not, Alexander's Anger Room became one of the city's fastest growing entertainment establishments and a global "weird news" item.

Then after a year in business, The Anger Room closed up shop in the hopes of expanding, and they stayed that way for eight long months. Normally, any small business that stayed away that long would have little chance of rising from the ashes, but Alexander said her dedicated customers kept their anger in check until she could reopen this week to let them smash their last nerves away in her new Anger Room on Gould Street just a block away from Lee Harvey's.


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Five Extreme Hobbies That Are More Fun and Less World-Ruining Than Extreme Couponing

Categories: WTF?

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Alice Laussade
I was in Target the other day, in the checkout line behind an extreme couponer. He was purchasing about 800 butt tons of Lean Pockets and approximately 300 ass loads of detergent. At first glance I did not judge these purchases, presuming that the purchase of that many Lean Pockets would inevitably end in the need for that much laundry detergent.

But then the wad of coupons came out.

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