Welcome to Alice Column, in which Alice Laussade writes stories about things on (roughly) the same day of (roughly) every week, making it (roughly) a column. Got an idea for a column? Start your own blog and write it up, you lazy shit.
The Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Dallas alerted me that this week is National Etiquette Week. Apparently people have been celebrating this since 1997, which must be when shit started to hit the fan, politeness-wise. Makes sense. Meredith Brooks' "Bitch" was No. 15 on the Billboard Hot 100 that year and everyone knows she's the worst etiquetter ever. (And a liar. Never trust anyone who tells you she's "a goddess on her knees.")
This in mind, here are some helpful etiquette tips to pregnant bitches from a pregnant bitch. (Mad I called you a bitch? Practice these skills for a week and I'll call you a lady.)More »