We hardly knew you, Flappy Bird. It's been just over a week since you first began to pump your little wings on my iPhone, and just like that your creator has returned you to a cage, calling you "addictive" and "a problem." I know why the caged bird sings, Maya Angelou. It's because it wants to be released back into the open air of the App Store.
You had your ups and downs, Flappy Bird. Well, my phone had ups and downs when I threw it into the air after losing 83 times in a row. Our relationship might've been short-lived, but the passionate anger I felt for you was so real. At the encouragement of my anger management counselor, also known as my roommate, I've written you a eulogy.More »