And Now, Some Adorable Pups from Sunday's Pooch Parade

Catherine Downes
Each year, pups gather at Lee Park for the annual Pooch Parade (part of the Easter in the Park extravaganza). Here are a handful of dogs from the event, that we find especially adorable. You can check out the entire slideshow here.

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10 Dallas Dudes You've Probably Dated

Categories: Holiday

Dating is the worst.
I was dicking around on the internet last week when known Valentine's Day scrooge the Houston Chronicle brought my attention to a national survey ranking Dallas as the seventhth most heartbroken city in America. Based on a foolproof algorithm of marriage rates, demand for dating services and surfing Instagram for sad people, the author of the "report" found us pretty unlucky in love.

I can't speak for the men of Dallas. But I know that for us women, the dating pool here can be shallow and well-stocked with bottom feeders. Here are 10 fish you have probably (hopefully) thrown back to sea.

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17 Valentine's Day Events in Dallas, Because This Holiday Is Happening, People

Categories: Holiday

Photo by @Giovani on Flickr
Spend your V-Day at the Kessler.

Valentine's Day is back and with it come visions of fat little blonde men in tiny diapers aiming sharp objects at your pulmonary artery. It's the time in late winter when North Texans get bored with the cold and long to take off a few layers and use the energy they've been storing for months to heat things up. Mid-February, people get, well, twitterpated.

Whether this sickly sweet holiday finds you out-of-your-mind wacky for that special someone or freshly embittered over loves past, there's something for you to do in Dallas. Here are some of the more appealing.

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Valentine's Day Don'ts

Categories: Holiday


Valentine's Day is stupid. And you jerks keep making it stupider by being so horrible at valentines-ing. I will now attempt to save you from your horrible selves. Here are some don'ts for this Valentine's Day. Cheers to not being the worst at this fake holiday from now on.

Don't buy anyone an edible arrangement. (Unless you can create a Meat Basket.)

NO. No, ma'am. Step away from the edible arrangement.

If you buy your hump buddy an edible arrangement made out of fruit, you're not only saying you suck at knowing what a real flower is, but you're also assuming your lust one has a way to refrigerate eighteen pounds of pineapples. An edible arrangement of fruit says, "I know you like to eat things off of skewers. I also think you probably like receiving the same thing that I got my Nana when she broke her hip. Thanks for asking, yes, her hip is better now."

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Nine Popular Sex Toys That Make Perfect Gifts for the Ho Ho Ho in You

Categories: Holiday

"Tis the season to be jolly" is a fine attitude to take as you shop for Santa's gifts this Christmas season, but for those of us who prefer a little more naughty for our significant or not-so-significant others, just the right gift from Bad Santa isn't something that showcases during commercial breaks of It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

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Ho Ho No, The Holidays Are Great, But These 10 Traditions Aren't

Categories: Holiday

We're 12 years into the 21st century and still doing holiday things that would make the 1990s shudder. Here's a list of things we, as a nation, need to knock the eff off.


1. Car Antlers
Let's go ahead an toss car wreaths and humorous Santa body parts in the radiator grill in here too. Here's a hint: Don't buy you holiday decorations at the same car wash that sold you those truck nuts.

2. Elf on the Shelf
A smug little holiday snitch who spies on kids an reports back to Santa? All I want for Christmas is a shiv.

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Cut Through the Crap on Etsy With Our Guide to Gifts from the Heart of Dallas

Categories: Holiday, Shopping

"Live Long and PawsPurr" from Rayguns and Robots
Despite the fact that etsy has officially been infiltrated by crap, there are still a few gems out there. Some even call Dallas their home. Here's a list of the top etsy Dallas vendors that'll make you proud to share your tap water with them.

They're listed in no particular order with the exception of the first three that you've probably already heard of ... unless you've been living under a white rock or something. (A Dallas pun?!? You're welcome.)

Dowdy Studio
Located over behind goodfriend, this T-shirt shop has quirky, cool designs and best of all? They're not printed on shit Anvil shirts. Pictured above is men's Mer-Jack, $26.

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Ten Things to Do with Your Dad in Dallas That Don't Involve That Lame Gift You Forgot to Buy

Categories: Holiday

Nick Zukin, Flickr
Your dad is a man. He may have been tamed by the structure of society and had his teeth dulled by life's monotony, but he's in there, lion and all. So with father's day approaching, what have you gotten him? A tie? A gift card to Best Buy? Maybe a coffee mug or a kitschy card that took two seconds to read before being selected?

SHAME ON YOU. Throw that shit away right now. Your dad doesn't want another picture frame or book or fishing lure; he wants to spend time with you, assuming neither of you are complete assholes.

So: Have you thrown those boring gifts out the window? Good. May they land next to the plastic heart shaped box full of gross chocolate, and the stale Easter egg candies that have survived two world wars.

Here are some things to do instead. Let's move.

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Five Ways to Spend Mother's Day in Dallas Without Suffering Through a Mediocre Brunch

Categories: Holiday

via Facebook
Last year you took your mom out to brunch on Mother's Day. You did that the year before, too. In fact, everybody does that, every year. And while brunching is undeniably one of life's best things, brunching on Mother's Day is one of its worst. So many moms, so many weak mimosas, so few tables.

Luckily, there are plenty of non-brunch mom-day options in Dallas. Here are five of our favorites:

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Here's St. Patrick's Day in Dallas Summed Up in One Really Blurry Photo

Jamie Laughlin
Somehow I don't think our Irish ancestors thought the Feast of St. Patrick's Day would include Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos.