Cyanide & Happiness 4th Annual Banana Bar Crawl This Friday

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Cyanide & Happiness
This weekend, live your dream of dressing up as a phallic fruit and consuming way too much vodka by joining the madness at the 4th annual Dallas Banana Bar Crawl. Brought you by the crazy misfits over at Cyanide & Happiness, the fun starts at The Green Room at 8 p.m. An estimated 480 bananas will make their way through downtown Dallas, generating uncoordinated mayhem and uncomfortable side glances throughout the night. Last year, they shut down McKinney Avenue with a conga line. God only knows what's in store this year. At 11 p.m., "turd-rock pioneers" Hey Banana Na will put on a free show at Wit's End with the goal of having every banana chant "shit" as loud as humanly possible.

See also: Cyanide & Happiness on Plushies, ComicCons and a New Animated Series

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Seven Ways Sex and the City Would've Been Different in Dallas


Sarah Jessica Parker will be in Dallas on March 9 to promote her shoe line and probably make Nordstrom's in NorthPark a giant nightmare of starstruck women of all ages. The department store won't be safe to go near for an entire afternoon.
SJP is best known as her New York-based character Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. To celebrate her upcoming arrival, here are seven ways the HBO series would have been different if it was set in Dallas.

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Our 10 Favorite Photos From Mardi Gras Celebrations

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Ed Steele was on the scene in Denton Friday night.

Sunday may have been a bust, with all that terrifying thunder sleet and what not. But the Mardi Gras parties on Friday and Saturday went off without a hitch, thanks to the stunning springtime weather. In Denton on Friday, Walnut Street was filled with revelers wearing masks, covered in body paint and drinking a brewski or 10. Then, Saturday night the Kessler Theater opened its doors for green and purple party people with its O Carnivale Masqerade Ball. If you missed out on the fun, or were holding out for the Oak Cliff parade that was canceled, don't worry, we've got party pics. Here are a few of our favorites.

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Lucky Strike Wants To Host Your Wedding Reception for Free

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Pretty Hair Man craps his pants over this epic Valentine's Day news.

Do you have Valentine's Day plans? Cancel them. Because what you are about to hear is the most amazing Valentine's Day opportunity that exists. I've got three words for you: sweaty bowling shoes.

This weekend, if you bowl a perfect game at Lucky Strike (2845 W. 7th St., Fort Worth), they'll give you a huge party for 50 people. If you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend, they'll host a wedding reception for you (because if you're an awesome bowler with a steady who will put up with being in a bowling alley on Valentine's Day, then you're meant to be together forfuckingever and you'd obviously both love a wedding reception at a place that smells like 90 percent must, 5 percent man piss, 5 percent black cherry bleach).

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Have a Heart and Make One at West Elm

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West Elm is hosting "Craft a Work of Heart" from 6 to 8 p.m. Tuesday at Mockingbird Station benefiting St. Jude Research Hospital in Memphis. Here's the deal, for every paper heart created, West Elm will donate $1 to St. Jude's. Their goal is to "set the world record for longest paper heart chain" so if you help and they pull it off, picture yourself in your golden years, a bag of Werther's in your hand, a bottle of Miralax by the bed, telling your great grandkids about that one glorious day you made a heart that put you in the record books. Guess what just got rocketed into the dimension of "can't miss?" This event. Furthermore, it's hearts around Valentine's Day that help children. CHILDREN. Even Nancy Grace cares about them. Well that and a teased up bob to hide her reptile head... In conclusion, if you have an organ in your chest cavity that pumps blood go make a heart for the kiddos, help set a record and while your at it and maybe pick up a set of Turkish Tassel Hand Towels . You've earned it. RSVP on Facebook.

Perot Museum Extends Animal Inside Out to February 23

Categories: Events


If you haven't been to the Animal Inside Out exhibit at the Perot Museum yet, or if you'd like to go see it again, you're in luck: The Perot Museum has extended the exhibit until February 23rd.

Before you go, here's a reminder of the exhibition rules. I like to imagine Ross Perot saying them to me. You should, too:


Rule #1: No touching the stuff. You can't touch the specimens, you snot-handed little toddler shit. Stop trying to milk the half-skinned sheep's dingle.

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The 8 Cutest Photos From Sochi Olympics in Klyde Warren Park

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Danny Hurley

It's time for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, and although I am British and thus bitter that we never win anything (apart from the really fancy sports, like rowing or cycling, that require very expensive equipment to compete in, thus ruling out a lot of countries), I understand America gets itself pretty hyped for this sort of thing.

And so it was that the hype train found its way to Klyde Warren Park, boasting various winter-based activities such as sledging, hockey, curling, you know, the snow and ice-based stuff. But lo! What is this, disembarking from said train of hype? Why, it's adorable children in big winter coats looking at turns terrified and delighted!

All photographs courtesy of good ol' Danny Hurley, and you can see the full set here.

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Last Chance To Attempt Skating on Klyde Warren's Ice Rink

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There's an ice rink here somewhere, we swear.

This is it, people. This Sunday, February 2, is the last day the all-weather ice rink at Klyde Warren Park (2012 Woodall Rodgers Freeway) will be available for your horrible-at-ice-skating ass to fall down on it. For $5. Unless you bring your own skates, and then it's free. So bring roller skates for the whole family and save some major cash! "It's not real ice, why I gotta wear real ice skates!"

The forecast says it's gonna be Stupid Cold tonight (see chart), so you could go out there and freeze your face off and pretend it's Icepocalypse 2: The Reckoning, if you're into that.

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If You're Going to Throw an "Epic Party," Why Not Do It with a Time-Traveling DeLorean?

Categories: Events

Paul Gallagher
Great Scott, this is heavy.

Jared's Epic Party is only a month away and he already has a ton of attractions in store that could make the richest kid in Highland Park's birthday party look like a gathering at a Chuck E. Cheese.

Besides the promise of reuniting Vanilla Ice and his "Ninja Rap" with a striking replica of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he has landed a ton of other musical acts and celebrity appearances, a video game arcade, a record breaking Nerf gun battle and appearances of striking replicas of several classic movie cars.

The cars will come courtesy of Bob Moseley, owner and operator of the local movie replica building shop Bob's Prop Shop, who gave us a preview of a replica of the DeLorean from Back to the Future Part II that he plans to fly, er, drive to Gilley's on February 22.

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Crispin Glover Is Coming to the Texas Theatre

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The creepiest boy-faced actor working today will be at the Texas Theatre in mid February for a two-part show. Crispin Glover is coming to make your Valentine's weekend a little more magical, but in a weird way.

On Saturday, February 15 and Sunday, February 16, Glover will perform dramatic narration of illustrated books (for children maybe? Hard to say). After each one-hour performance Texas Theatre will screen one of Glover's two films, It Is Fine. Everything is Fine! the first night and What Is It? the second. Tickets for each night are $20 and a two night pass is $35, and all are available here.

See also: Neil deGrasse Tyson Will Keynote SXSW Interactive. Cosmos Will Screen at SXSW Film.

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