10 Signs That Your Relationship Is Probably Over In Dallas

Categories: Lists

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"Let's play Hide & Never Date Me Again."

You're about to go on a date in Dallas. Things haven't been great lately, and you're not sure if this is the end or not.

Here are 10 signs that your Dallas relationship might be headed in the "it's over" direction.

10. You're on a date at Klyde Warren Park, and she keeps insisting that you go up into the tree house and close your eyes and count to 10 because "that's all the head start she needs."

9. He claims there's a House of Plates secret party in Addison and he will meet you there. The address he gives you is a Steak & Shake. "Steak & Shakes are hip now. I swear."

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House of Plates has parties at places with old garage doors you can take selfies in front of. Not Steak & Shakes. You have been duped.

8. She sends you a box of Tiff's Treats with a note on them that says, "Happy birthday. It's over."

7. He puts beans in the chili.

6. He sings "Let's Stay Together" at Good Luck Karaoke, only he changes the lyrics to "Let's Not Stay Together" and makes direct eye contact with you the entire time. He's sober. Hammertimez does not interrupt him to make jokes.

5. She painted over all the work you did painting over the Forest Lane mural.

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Oh hayl naw. She did not paint over the arrow you painted over. This is clearly the last straw.

4. She got two un-get-able tickets to a Cafe Momentum dinner and didn't take you. Then Instagrammed pics of her making out with every course and tagged you.

3. He couldn't outrun the T-rex at the Perot Museum.

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He's slow as hell. That's a deal-breaker.

2. He takes you to Dickey's. Someone's getting dumped in this equation, but it's not you. If anyone invites you to Dickey's, it should be over. If it's not over, you need to take a serious look at your life choices. Snag a free cone on your way out the door to singledom.

1. She claims Reunion Tower just "looks like a big vibrator and the fact that it lights up all different colors now and spins just reinforces its dildo-ness." She may have a point, but that kind of mockery of local icons will not stand. It cannot stand. It mustn't stand.

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Justin Terveen
I don't see it.

My Voice Nation Help
52 comments
frasin66
frasin66

Le concept et la passion du soleil.


Quand

l'arbre de la

vie rappelle

la jeunesse

un tendre

concept décrit

le soleil.


Francesco Sinibaldi 

paulbwilliams
paulbwilliams

what Jeff replied I cant believe that some people can make $4658 in one month on the internet . you could look here 




>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> WWW.Jℴbs75.ℂOM

rhemfelt1
rhemfelt1

This article was so poorly written and unfunny I actually created an account just to post this...maybe that's part of Dallas Observer's strategy to get more online activity. 

rhemfelt1
rhemfelt1

As a Dallas native...the writing is bad, the humor is lacking, and none of the references make any sense.

charlie.w.ingram
charlie.w.ingram

Hey, I like Dickey's. At least you can get in and they don't run out of stuff. Some local places are so dependable, consistent and normal they are beyond criticism, like Campisis, Kubys, Rudolph's, El Fenix, Keller's, Highland Park Cafeteria, Old Warsaw, Sonny Bryans (original location), and Barbec's. If you are too highbrow to not be able to appreciate these stalwarts, you ain't a real native Dallasite.Yea, there are a lot of new good places, but these are just special.

bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

Even though Dallas Observer is free, this article leaves me with a feeling like I want my money back.

DavidRoot
DavidRoot

Dickey's was founded in Dallas almost 75 years ago and has given back a lot to the city. Why not choose an out-of-state business to make fun of? Or at least something the Observer hasn't called a "Dallas Observer Readers' Choice"

gabbahey
gabbahey

I thought Tietze Park was the place to dump someone? Is this no longer the case?

nickrallo
nickrallo

Geez Alice have you ever even been with a person

ChangingF8
ChangingF8

10 Signs that any lame articles can get online in the Observer.

bigjondaniel
bigjondaniel

Whoever this writer is, he needs to get a new job. I eat at Dickeys alot, and I always leave full

1oz_please
1oz_please

Uggg  Satirical wit is best practiced by people that have some.

tgtg999
tgtg999

This article sucks eggs.

texasmedic
texasmedic

Really???  Someone thought this was "clever"?  Fail.

dr.boobish
dr.boobish

that was an ignorant article.  where did this moron get his writing skills?

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

@charlie.w.ingram sorry but Dickey's, Campisi's, El Fenix, Barbecs and Sonny Bryan's all locations now; SUCK.  Try better places.  Just cause they're old doesn't mean they're good.  Some have really fallen off, and our standards have risen.  There are better places, that have been around a while that are better.  Try Mexico Lindo, or any of a number of taquerias.  There ain't much good smoked brisket in Dallas, but maybe you like roast beef rather than Texas smoked brisket like they serve at Pecan Lodge. 

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

@DavidRoot cause it sucks!  They could try smoking their brisket rather than baking it.  OR, they could position themselves as an alternative to Arbys

amy.silverstein
amy.silverstein

@AliceLaussade People are dying everyday, many are already dead, and yet you sit here and write a humorous article about dating. How dare you.

YourFriendAngela
YourFriendAngela

@bigjondaniel I don't know where to begin to address everything that's awesome about your comment- haha! First, the writer's name is ALICE. But thanks for assuming anything shitty on the observer was written by a man, because hey, I can only read music reviews of late 90's band reunions written by dudes in their early 40s for so long before I'm going to start assuming the same exact thing...second, eating at Dickey's a lot tells me more than I need to know about you. And finally, third, she never said Dickey's didn't fill you up. damn straight it's a lot of food! but in this instance it was more of a reference to quality, not quantity. 

mm32
mm32

@dr.boobish The writer's name is Alice, and you ask where he got "his" writing skills?

ColonelAngus
ColonelAngus

@mm32 @dr.boobish  To be fair, Alice Cooper's name is also Alice, although not really, and he's a dude.  But he is not nearly as cute as Alice L.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@bigjondaniel @DavidRoot seriously, David, why spend $14 on a Dickeys lunch when you can get some of the best bbq there is at Pecan Lodge or Lockhart Dallas for a $1 or 2 more.

DavidRoot
DavidRoot

@ScottsMerkin @bigjondaniel @DavidRoot I don't remember spending that much at Dickey's, but I'm sure it's easy enough. Dickey's is more convenient and familiar than those other places you mentioned (I don't know why I'd be forced to choose). Dickey's is comfort food to me. Why do people love eating overpriced hotdogs at baseball games or hurting themselves with bottomless chips and salsa? Because it's fun and reminds us of better times.

carlwilliams
carlwilliams

or go to a wal mart and buy dog food. cheaper or better than dickey's. but at least its not dickey's

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@josh I need to give the bone another try, my first visit, my brisket was meh, the ribs were good though. The dude cutting brisket seemed lost that day, and every place has its down days.

Joshstruckoutagain
Joshstruckoutagain

@ScottsMerkin  try it again Merk, get there about 11:30..Jack was cutting meat last week...might be stopping by there again today!

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