Seven Homes in Dallas You Will (Probably) Never Own

Categories: Dallas Stories

MansonCt.jpg
Zillow.com

Do you remember about a month ago when I first complained about being an underpaid journalist? You joined my father in the knowing chuckle of someone saying, "You could've been an accountant." Let's ignore the cliches about hindsight for a second, while I present to you homes that neither you nor my father can afford in this month's edition of "How are there so many rich people in Dallas?"

4939 Manson Court
Does anyone ever really need 10 bedrooms? Apparently not, because this home has been on the market for 448 days. It costs $29.5 million, which according to Zillow is eleven thousand percent more than the average Preston Hollow home. Here's some perspective: One time, my brother-in-law took my sister to dinner at Abacus. To this day he complains about that $400 dinner. For the cost of the above home, he could eat at Abacus 73,750 times. That's three times a day for an average person's life. And just for the record, I'm single, don't own a home and have never eaten at Abacus. Do with that what you will, Dallas bachelors.


Inwood.jpg
Zillow.com

9806 Inwood Road
Mandalay, Tara, Monticello, Versailles, Camelot. Fancy houses deserve equally fancy names. This beauty has six bedrooms, 10 baths and calls itself Dans Bois Crte. No, not Dance Boy Court. If you want to live here, you're going to have to adopt a French accent and hire a butler named Rodney. Oh, and you'll have to shell out $19.5 million. Pas cher, oui?

FSBO.jpg
Zillow.com
For Sale By Owner? Never would've guessed.

4644 Park Ln.
That picture is a real photo meant to "show off" this $18.3 million estate on Park Lane. Normally I wouldn't make fun of someone for making such sad choices, but this 1930's mansion sits on 8.4 wooded acres. And because $18.3 million. Browsing these atrocious photosis bound to be one of the saddest things you'll do today.

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Zillow.com

4009 W. Lawther Drive
Perhaps the most newsworthy item on this list, which is otherwise a total waste of your time, is that this house is still on the market. Let's revisit the downstairs Bowling Alley/Olympic size swimming pool/private putting green/10 acres on Bachman Creek dream house. It's only $19 million. That makes the mortgage payment only slightly more than my net worth.


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6 comments
Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

The upper market isn't selling so quick.

1-5mil. are getting snatched quickly.

Sinister
Sinister

I live in a trailer home and I have a 12 inch dick.  I don't need no stinking million dollar home.  

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Money does not equal style (or taste)

rubberduky
rubberduky

oHHHH Molly Ringwald, oops I meant underpaid journalist, must be so very hard chasing after your Andrew Mc Carthy's here in Dallas. Now go and knit yourself a stitch of a shit dress out of some used tampon wrappers and eat some bon bons like a good little underpaid journalist. Your depression has however made me want to listen to my favorite English crooner Morrissey. Thanks.

J_A_
J_A_

Wow it takes some skill to make an $18 mil home look that craptastic. Did Scott Reitz take those pictures?

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