8 Bullshit Things That Women's Clothes Do

Categories: Fashion

asszipper.jpg
Maggie Not Margaret
Let's ruin this skirt with a bright ass zipper.
Women are taught by fashion magazines and reality shows to have a deep respect for the designers who make their clothes. But no one warns women that this respect doesn't go both ways. Spend enough time shopping, and it becomes clear that the fashion industry is made of creepy old men who don't think you need clothes for anything other than reclining uncomfortably in a chair, looking hot.

Here are some of the most obnoxious, bullshit structural problems commonly found in women's clothes.

Rotating Skirts
There are so many skirts that look great when you're modeling them in the dressing room, just standing before a mirror. But dressing rooms are small and not conducive to much movement. In the real world, some seemingly perfect skirts start to do a subtle rotation after you walk for about 30 seconds. At first, it seems like something minor, no big deal. But then you do another 30 seconds of walking, and the whole thing starts turning more. You try to ignore this because you don't want to be tugging at your skirt in public. Walk a few more minutes and by the time you make it to your destination, your skirt will be on backward.

Pencil Skirts With Skanky Ass Zippers
Pencil skirts are supposed to be classy, like something that Joan from Mad Men would wear. But if you buy a lower-budget pencil skirt from a place like Forever 21, chances are that it will be held together only by a tacky zipper placed in the spot where your ass crack is. The zipper is typically made out of cheap metal and super shiny. This ensures that your ass will blind everyone when you stand in the sunlight.

Acting Like a Serious Business Shirt with a Collar and Buttons, But Then Also Being See-through, for Some Reason.
You're a working professional? Honey, that's adorable. Now go put on something sexy for me.

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1 comments
sherilenoir
sherilenoir

Please add- shirts or dresses that tie in the back, putting a beautiful bow in the small of my back is impossible to do solo, and even the meager knot I manage to work out using 2-3 mirrors and a large number of curse words feels like several large rocks in the small of my back every time I sit down.

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