10 Dallas Dudes You've Probably Dated
I was dicking around on the internet last week when known Valentine's Day scrooge the Houston Chronicle brought my attention to a national survey ranking Dallas as the seventhth most heartbroken city in America. Based on a foolproof algorithm of marriage rates, demand for dating services and surfing Instagram for sad people, the author of the "report" found us pretty unlucky in love.
Dating is the worst.
I can't speak for the men of Dallas. But I know that for us women, the dating pool here can be shallow and well-stocked with bottom feeders. Here are 10 fish you have probably (hopefully) thrown back to sea.
The $30,000 Millionaire
You are not allowed to pick me up in a BMW if you don't own a bed frame. You are not allowed to reserve us a two-bottle table if you don't have health insurance. You are not allowed to have a personal shopper and not own any dinnerware. Get your priorities together, man.
The Sketchy Rich Guy
He lives in a high rise, he does a lot of blow, you don't know how he got all that money, and you think it's better you don't. Three months later you're reading about him on Unfair Park and you're relieved that only lasted for a couple of crazy weekends. Plus, you probably got a little David Yurman out of it.
The SMU Trust Fund Baby
One giant adult baby suffering from both entitlement issues and poor little rich boy syndrome at the same damn time. He's got a degree, though. He's on Tinder, too. He's the one wearing button-up polos and/or golfing in every picture.