The 8 Weirdest Toys at DFW Vintage Toys

Categories: Geek-Offs

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Photos by Danny Gallagher
DFW Vintage Toys owner Jayden Frost with one of his store's mini-minions

DFW Vintage Toys' Jayden Frost has a hard time turning away just about any toy that someone brings into the store. He doesn't just have mainstream vintage fare like unopened G.I. Joe Skystrikers, plastic molded comic book characters and a room dedicated to Star Wars. He has some of the more off-beat playthings you're not likely to see in neighborhood nurseries that aren't run by extreme goths who believe toddlers should learn early just how cruel the world can be.

It's easy to amass such a collection when you have such a dedicated customer and fan base as Frost does. He held a special opening for his Facebook followers last Saturday at his new location on East Rosemeade Parkway in Carrollton and plans to hold an official grand opening this Saturday. He also let us root around his giant toy box to find the strangest things for sale.

Smokey

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Just about any toy with the tagline "He's your best and only friend" would make them infinitely creepier (we're looking at you, My Buddy). But say that about an anthropomorphic cigarette butt and it's kind of funny, plus it really makes me want to start smoking because I'm secretly lonely.

Hot Wheels Superman Car

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Superman is the last comic book superhero who needs a car. He can fly around the world so fast that he can actually reverse time, which doesn't even make sense on a quantum mechanical level. So why would he need his own car and can't he do better than a custom painted, two-door Granada?

A Watchmen Rorschach Lunchbox

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We realize this is a grownup lunchbox for fanboys and girls to display in their collections, but there has to be at least one little kid out there who actually packs a lunch in this thing because he can't express his hipster-ish love for fictional characters with cynical, satirical senses of morality with a Glo Worms box.


A Mork & Mindy Talking Mork Doll

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I have two theories about the child or person who owned this talking Mork doll. Either they used a Sharpie to draw on a beard to help age it along with the real Robin Williams or they tried to shove a pen down its mouth to permanently silence it.

A Marilyn Manson Action Figure

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The fact that Marilyn Manson has his own line of toys isn't what's funniest about this find. It's the warning label that this toy is for "Ages Over 8."

Devilman

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This anime action figure may look like just your run-of-the-mill Japanese nightmare factory, but store employee and anime room curator Andrew Kistner says it's actually the tamest one in the Devilman series. One character has a horned skull, a gruesome bat face and bare female breasts ... and it's a male. We're sure someone has also put it on a lunchbox by now.

Egg Transformer

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This has to be the most clinically depressed transformer robot of all time.

The Greatest American Hero Action Figure

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It may look like the tamest toy in the group except for the fact that it's considered "super rare," according to Frost, and costs more than $200 to own. That means there must be a Suzanne Somers She's the Sheriff doll with six-shooter/hair dryer holster that's worth millions.


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