50 Things We Learned From the 2013-2014 Year in Movies

Categories: Film and TV

9226775.28.jpg
One of the best performances of the year was from the tiny lifeboat in Captain Phillips.
Tomorrow is the day this year's Oscar nominations are revealed, also known as national Gah! What Were Those Idiot Voters Thinking Day. We can't wait, so in the meantime, we give you this:

1. Marvel Films has become Taco Bell, with plenty of sour creamy, cheesy wrap-up menu items scheduled through 2021.

2. In 2021, Marvel Films will begin Phase 3, in which they ask the actors in The Avengers to change their name to their respective characters and begin a reality show called The Real Avengers.

3. Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost continue to be the one of the most refreshing filmmaking teams in modern cinema.

4. Practical effects = vinyl albums.

5. Zack Snyder made a movie once that looked neat, SO NOW HE'LL MAKE ALL THE FILMS BASED ON THE COOL THING YOU LOVED ONCE.

6. Jennifer Lawrence will be on some ballots for the next presidential election.

7. When all else fails, destroy New York City into shards of overblown CGI.

8. When all else fails, destroy the Golden Gate Bridge into shards of international orange.

9. When all else fails, Leonardo Di Caprio.

10. Several people who live with us on Earth saw to it that a sequel to The Smurfs was produced and released. Note: The tagline for the film was "Nice gets naughty."

11. We can't have a movie about outer space without real astronauts debunking it.

12. Everyone still hates Tom Cruise.

13. Elysium wasn't a film, actually. It was an hour-and-a-half, one-time recording of the actual future.

14. No one is working very hard to forget about the Jack and the Bean Stalk movie, Jack the Giant Slayer.

15. Sea World is hell.

My Voice Nation Help
5 comments
Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

1) "Elysium" a huge disappointment, and what was up with Jodie Foster's dialogue

2) Pray for a Shane Carruth collaboration with David Cronenberg

3) Most directors still have not learned to control CGI

4) "World War Z"; please let this be the end of zombie nonsense (it sucked mostly)
5) "Die Hard" sequels need to die - yes please

6) Robert Downey Jr. now has the patent on smug

7) "Spring Breakers" overrated unwatchable mess

8) Will Ferrell rapidly becoming overrated

9) Matthew McConaughey not overrated

10) "The Book Thief" underrated

blankcur1
blankcur1

Rush was a good film as well. 

goodhugh
goodhugh

Man of Steel did not suck... agree with everything else.  That is all...

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Employment

Health & Beauty

Medical Research

Dallas Event Tickets
Loading...