(UPDATED) Denton Children's Advocacy Group Director Refuses Tattooed Moms' Donation

stacyandherkids.jpg
Photo by Danny Gallagher
Mother and Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas founder Stacy Willingham spends time with her kids, 5-year-old Cole and 2-year-old Stella, and two massive dogs Zeus and Allie.

UPDATE, 2:40 p.m.: Dan Leal, the center's executive director, emailed us this statement this afternoon:

"The Children's Advocacy Center for Denton County appreciated the generous offer made by the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas organization; however, the money was raised with a pin up calendar that could be perceived by some as sexual in nature and our Children's Advocacy Center's mission is to provide justice and healing for children who are the victims of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, we could not accept the proceeds of this pin up calendar's sales because of the calendar's possible perception, and not the hard working mothers who sponsored it."

Original story follows:

Stacy Willingham of Denton, a freelance writer and mother of two very active kids, had trouble fitting in with the square, un-inked, Red State of mind of some pockets of suburban Texas motherhood. She birthed her youngest daughter Stella in 2011 and like most moms, she needed other moms to talk to about trying to juggle a life, a career and two kids.

She described it as an unfriendly experience.

"They acted like I was stupid for being so stressed out, for lack of a better word," Willingham said as she tries to keep her oldest son Cole from making an old fashioned stack of mud pies in their backyard. "They ridiculed me for being open and talkative and I don't get it. ... I just wanted other moms to talk to."

Stacy also has two arms full of carefully sketched tattoos, and like most of her tattooed hippie mommas, she said they also had trouble fitting into "traditional" mom groups. So they got together and formed the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas. It quickly spawned other chapters across the region, the state, the rest of the country and even in London. They started using their awesome, new-found mommy powers to start fundraisers to raise money for nonprofit groups of their choosing. That honor would have gone to the Children's Advocacy Center of Denton County but Development Director Stacie Wainscott declined their offer "due to the conservative nature of our organization," according to an email sent to Willingham.

"It's total bullshit," Stacy said.

This past summer, Stacy and her fellow mommas got together to shoot some playful pin-up photos for a 2-year calendar to sell them at $30 a pop. The calendar was a huge success that not only earned them a hefty check to give to the charity of their choice but also the attention of the national media cycle in places such as the pages of the New York division of The Daily Mail and an upcoming episode of Inside Edition. It even earned them the attention of a reality TV show producer who wants to shoot the moms' stories for a pilot episode to shop to the networks and perhaps bring some sane and likable housewives to the reality culture junkyard.


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129 comments
chloechloe
chloechloe

This reminds me of the part in "Gone with the Wind" where the prostitute that was Rhett Butler's friend (not saying these woman are that, just get the main point) had wanted to give money for the war effort, but the local church ladies refused her money. So Rhett told her to take the donation to Melody because she was a "real Christian". The prostitute says something to Melody along the lines of that her money spends just a well as anyone else's money. Melody compassionately says that of course it does and accepted the prostitutes donation to help the effort. 

jennabrouillette
jennabrouillette

Ya know wether you agree or disagree the result is the same. The center has to divert resources from helping the kids to putting out this media fire. These ladies have intended to help the center with their donation instead they have ended up being a detriment to the kids they were wanting to help. In the end the kids are suffering from this lovely flame war.

GrownAssWoman
GrownAssWoman

"...could be perceived by some as sexual in nature and our Children's Advocacy Center's mission is to provide justice and healing for children who are the victims of sexual abuse."

I think this is an excellent example of 'conservatives' conflating women and children. Grown women acting under their own agency are in NO WAY comparable to sexually abused children.

Women are NOT children.

Angrywhiteguy
Angrywhiteguy

Oh good grief the butthurt...........

1. Fat tattoees get bent because no one buys their calendar.

2. It IS sexual in the same way all calendars of women in fishnet stockings are sexual

3. Calendars are sooooooo yesterday, why not do a twerking video instead.

4. They said "no thank you"..........not "ya'll is fat and ugly"......i said that.

5. Perception is reality......if you have purple hair you look like an idiot.

6. The calendar was to promote oddball looking wimins, not to raise funds for anyone. You won. Yaaaaa!!!! for you. 

shawn4848
shawn4848

Tattooed Hippie Pirate's?? what's next The Fanuke Tattooed Hippie Club for those who love trees and love grabbing their ankles, while protesting for the safety of sperm whales.....

darren.dupre
darren.dupre

First of all, let me make it clear that any charity has a right who they want to accept money from. I also want to make it clear that if the charity is generally doing good work and is otherwise in good standing, that this shouldn't be a reason to stop donating or to otherwise shame.

With that said, when the center says they are worried about their perception, did they anticipate how their perception might have changed in light of possible negative press? Do they think, now that there has been nationwide coverage, mainly in a negative light, that turning down the money was still the right thing to do? I don't agree with their view and hope they reconsider, for their own sake. The only way this PR disaster is going to be solved is if they take the money and apologize.

jennabrouillette
jennabrouillette

My mom volunteers at the center several times a week. I have also pitched in to help at events. My tattoos have never been an issue. When they say conservative the translation is this....they help kids in many ways. Prosecuting the bad guys is one of them. Considering that they are in the courts defending these kids, it stands to reason that having anything to do with controversial nature would be held against them in court, therefore hurting the children ay are defending. As we all know defense lawyers will go to no end to get their clients off. Thus anything that could even remotely be thrown back at them in court must be denied for the childrens' sake. Let me just state that personally, myself, I have no issue with the calendar in question. And if I didn't know the people at the center I would definitely be miffed. But considering the legal ramifications I can understand their stance. I hope what I have written has shed some light on the probable position of the DCCAC. Thanks from the tattoed, pierced Auntie of over 60 kids of all walks of life. :)

bgreenr
bgreenr

First I have a couple of tats, so no problems there.  Now I can hardly believe that a group of women want to make a stink because a very serious organizations supporting traumatized children and families declines proceeds from a sexually suggestive pin-up calendar.  Are you people stupid?  If you want to do something productive, have a bake sale.  I mean really now, how stupid do you have to be to suggest that a your pin-up calendar is appropriate in support of sexually abused children.  And then to make a stink about it in the media?!?  If you truly support the good work done at CACDC then give the money anonymously and drop the drama.

jwgjr06
jwgjr06

Some of those pictures could be perceived as sexual in nature and the organization helps kids who have been sexually abused. It makes sense that they declined. It's like Budweiser donating money to Alcoholics Anonymous.

manpanties
manpanties

$3000 is a pittance.  shut up about this charity crap and throw a party with the money.

PityForTheInked
PityForTheInked

Good.  Pathetic people who identify themselves by their "ink" are not worthy of any empathy when they are judged negatively by that very ink.  They attempt to define themselves as "individuals" and "counter-culture" on the completely paid-for superficial grounds of tattoos, so they damn well should expect to be judged on that superficial grounds.  They don't want to be seen as individuals; they are paying money to join an identity: that of the heavily-tattooed and all that goes with that.  That's not individualism; it's conformity.  Since that is what they are looking for, they should never whine when people judge them based on their sought identity.  When you scream "I want to be a rebel" then you can't complain when someone treats you like a rebel, which is someone who violates of social norms.  They are seeking that designation.  Live with it.

I feel sorry for heavily tatooed people.  I see people who are so desperate and clueless that they make foolish decisions.  But that pity ends there.  I have no empathy when they get what they should have known was coming to them: negative judgment.


And, yes, this includes you if you have more than on occasional bad choice little tattoo.  All you pathetic people with sleeves and massive tattoos?  I'm going to judge you as uncivilized, uninformed, odd, and worthy of derision because that is what you sought when you got them.

Subnx
Subnx

Getting a tattoo is a stupid action.

skelekim
skelekim

While I can understand a child receiving the assistance from this organization might still have progress to achieve with the area of sex/sexualization, part of that recovery is acceptance. Which is something these ladies do promote both as a group, and as individuals.  They share a common acceptance of themselves, both in as aspects. They promote this proudly, but not classless. They've respected their personal bounds with their sexuality and medium, all while wanting to help another person. I do hope an anonymous donation can be achieved, if not from the group in the full amount, maybe individual private donations from with in the group and people reading this. Spite is a petty and selfish choice to make, void of compassion and hope.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

while we are talking tatoos, whatever happened with the chick who had the tinkerbell fucking a light switch tattoo, that was "gonna get paid" by Lego Land for "kicking her out"

watcher1
watcher1

It appears that some of you making comments are as closed minded as being accused of the CACDC.  I suggest that you take the time to really take a close look at what the purpose and mission of the center and put yourselves in the shoes of the victims of sexual/physical abuse as well as the shoes of those that have to provide the healing.  The CACDC is a non-profit organization and have gratefully received numerous donations.  I've read that these ladies have been approached or have lobbied their efforts towards getting a reality show such as the one that was started by the ladies at Red Neck Heaven.  With that in mind I personally feel that organizations such as the CACDC should not be used as a platform to forward another agenda.  Unfortunately either way these ladies have gotten the press they wanted and somewhat made themselves out to be sympathetic figures.  If these ladies truly want to contribute why would they not just be anonymous donors to insure the victimized children get services they need to heal.  I have tattoos and see them as art but when art is meshed with sexual innuendo it is inappropriate for any non-profit organization to except.  The potential outcome could be that other donors will pull out and how would that be beneficial for the children.  The decision made by the CACDC is not RIGHT WING...it's just RIGHT!

fsawtelle1
fsawtelle1

I feel confident that there are other charity organizations benefiting children who will thankfully accept the donation of these generous ladies. And CACDC can go pat itself on the back for keeping its priorities straight.

Deelio
Deelio

Maybe they should have worn burka?

finnmf89
finnmf89

This really does not promote the calendar, this is about bull shit right wing narrow mindedness. Why would a children's advocacy organization refuse a charitable donstion due to their conservative nature? Why not ask, if that was the issue, to make the donation private. Why should the children not recieve a donation due to the sexism and bigotry of conservative lunatics? That's a damn shame. A damn shame.

camo1
camo1

Quit promoting your calendar a send a blank money to CACDC.  A great End to a story that helps a child. 

camo1
camo1

If your not trying to promote your calendar, send a money order to CACDC.  End this story by helping an abused child. 

I donate and I have tattoo's.

lindsey.taflinger
lindsey.taflinger

@jennabrouillette 

Thanks for the insight!  :)  I had not even considered the legal ramifications.... but...

I just think this goes deeper than the tattoos... the photos are similar to pin-up shots that are intentionally 'naughty' or 'just sexy enough without going over the top.'  I wouldn't be surprised if one of more of the women pictured in the calendar were themselves, victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse.  

I don't think it's fair that exposing portions of their body with ink automatically puts them in the category of flaunting their sexuality.  I weigh over 200 lbs (and dress for my size) but have tattoos that I show off proudly in the appropriate situations.  I also have large breasts, but I keep them covered mostly because I encounter LOTS of men who can't seem to divert their eyes.  

So this begs the question, who's the victim here?  Sexually abused children and their supporters, Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas that are raising money to promote acceptance of their differences and support of causes they believe in, or... I would argue that all women lose this battle.  We are ALLOWED to have tattoos like the boys but God forbid we show them off and EMBRACE our beauty because it may be misconstrued as FLAUNTING our SEXUALITY.  I just don't get it.  :/  

lindsey.taflinger
lindsey.taflinger

@bgreenr I don't think it's fair to call these women stupid.  

Sex Sells.  Bake sales, simply, do not.  

In fact, sex sells so well that ordinary' folks buy sexually SUGGESTIVE (i.e. OPTIONAL for those who CHOOSE to buy in support of their cause) calendars  so often that so much money was raised, the group was able to donate the funds to an admirable cause that everyone can get on board with- Sexually ABUSED children.  

To say these women are stupid and should donate ANONYMOUSLY negates what the women of Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas are essentially fighting for--acceptance of their perceived differences.

Calling these mothers sexy (and stupid) but TOO SEXY to help innocent children doesn't make sense to me.  [Perhaps they, themselves were victims of abuse and as part of healing, find it beneficial to embrace their beauty and gasp... SEXUALITY to convey to the public  that 'back in the day' pinups were still sexy but they left something to the imagination, opposite of what we see perpetuated today.] It baffles me that a hint of something naughty is ostracized but we blink an eye at rape, murder, war, and sadly sexually abused children... This list could go on but I suppose I should  just 'drop the drama' and go 'have a bake sale.'

And before you ask, I'm not a feminist, mother, member of the Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas, hater of the Children's Advocacy Center of Denton County, pictured in the calendar, a VICTIM of abuse, or any other preconceived opinions you may have formed while reading this post.  I'm a tattooed gal in my late 20's just trying to make sense of the world and hold on to a rapid-vanishing sense of hope for a better tomorrow... if that makes me a Tattooed Hippie... so be it.  Judge away!  God Bless! :) .... did I mention I'm a Christian, too!  YIKES!  

GatoCat
GatoCat

@jwgjr06 I understand that you are using an illustration to make a point. But for the record, Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't take contributions. In their 12 Traditions, number seven says, "Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." As a member of AA, I just wanted to make that clear to readers.

GatoCat
GatoCat

@PityForTheInked Sadly, I agree with you. I am left of liberal, a musician who has played in bands of almost every genre, from country to metal. But my attitude toward tattoos is, "My skin is not a doodle pad" and ink will never find its way into me. Heavily tattooed people do that for a reason, and it is not so that they can admire the artwork on their skin (especially if it is on their back or ass).

lindsey.taflinger
lindsey.taflinger

@PityForTheInked I guess you keep all that hatred for Mommy and Daddy or your Priest or Boss or whomever [ex-wife(s)maybe?] bottled up under your plain, wrinkling skin? 

Your judgment day will come too, my friend.  God forgive  you for having the audacity to judge so many people you know nothing about beyond what you SEE and ignorantly JUDGE as if you are somehow BETTER or more WORTHY.  

skelekim
skelekim

*And concerning children of the organization who arent at that point, I hope and assume this material wont be shown esp. for malice to one side of either the charity or group. I apply the same consideration for the children of the mothers in the group.)

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@watcher1 

Right-O, my compassionate friend.

From now on, no organizations should accept any toys that tattooed bikers collect and then donate at the various toy-runs that are routinely sponsored by MC's around the area.

Wouldn't want those toyless little angels to be tainted by having to play with a TransFormer that was donated by some scary tattoo-ridden biker.

*sheesh* Imagine the nerve of those evil, tattooed bikers!

fsawtelle1
fsawtelle1

Speaking of keeping your priorities straight:

"'I'm heavily tattooed' said [a] mother of six... '...women who took time out of their lives to make sure my kids were fed and stuff...'"

Well, ya know, tattoos aren't cheap. Somebody's gotta feed the kids.

matthall2099
matthall2099

The CACDC is an apolitical organization.

Volunteer there some time and find out for yourself before you jump on an ill-informed bandwagon.

MilesB
MilesB

@camo1 

I'm pretty sure Stacy applied for an anonymous donation and was denied, but that might need to be verified. That's a cool story though about you donating and not having tattoos. 

GatoCat
GatoCat

@lindsey.taflinger @jennabrouillette On behalf of the male gender and myself personally, I apologize that large breasts are eye-attractors. Because I have a natural, inborn preference for BBWs, I will say that it isn't just the breasts, but the whole full-figured curvature that draws these male eyes. This is not something I chose to do. At puberty I didn't suddenly think, "Hey, I want to start ogling big girls with sexy curves!" It just happened of itself, and I had to be made aware that I was staring, and I had to learn how to force my eyes away from the focus of their attraction. All these many years later I still do this with only moderate success. It is, always, a battle of the thinking mind over the instinctive flesh.

Lindsey, tattoos are not sexy. Flesh is sexy. Curves are sexy. Tattoos just get in the way.

jwgjr06
jwgjr06

@GatoCat @jwgjr06 thanks for the clarification. I didn't mean to offend in any way -  simply making an illustration. The serenity prayer and 12 steps are cool.

matthall2099
matthall2099

The CACDC accepts toys from tattooed bikers at bike runs but none of the bikers raised money for the toys by posing in their speed-o's.

This has blown up into a bunch of people looking for offense where none was ever intended. 

The CACDC is focused on the needs and the well being of children while the Tattooed Hippy Pirate Mommas, a group of adult women behaving like jilted high school girls, are making this about themselves.

samanthaosborn80
samanthaosborn80

In 2012 when I gave birth to my son I had an undiagnosed condition called placenta percreta. My uterus abrupted and while I was recovering in an ICU after severe blood loss and the removal of my uterus. These nice ladies took the time to make dinners for my children and husband who nearly lost their mother and wife. There is your priorities.   @fsawtelle1 

darren.dupre
darren.dupre

@matthall2099 Their refusal to accept the donation is a statement of politics (or more specifically, morality). 

matthall2099
matthall2099

I have tattoos and I have performed contracting work at the CACDC.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@matthall2099 

*chuckle*

You think I am jealous of the denizens of HP?

Your assumptions about me speak far more clearly than the words you post.

I'l give you this: You are more optimistic than I am, because I don't think I could ever respect your opinion.

(Oh, nice deflection, though - No need to respond to my points, I know that you cannot.)

matthall2099
matthall2099

@TheCredibleHulk

Classism was when you inferred, in your previous statement, that rich ladies from Highland Park don't have tattoos or look down on those who do.

It is obvious that you have never worked closely with Highland Park ladies leading me to believe that your comments about them are based in ignorance or lack of interaction with those ladies. (Jealousy is a stinky cologne, my friend.)

When you have the guts to volunteer your time or your talents at the CACDC and talk to the people you are condemning, then I might respect your opinion.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@matthall2099 

Classism? Please.

That is all coming from your side, and I'll prove it: It's just fine for the Mavs dancers to shake their asses to raise cash for you, isn't it? No problem using those funds.

Also, I don't believe that you ask MC's that make charitable donations from fundraisers they hold where specifically the monies they donate come from and refuse specific portions based on how the money was raised.

matthall2099
matthall2099

@TheCredibleHulk


I have tattoos and I have done contracting work for the CACDC.

Also, the CACDC turns down donations raised from bikini bike (or car) washes whether  the ladies doing the washing have ink or not. Their objection is to donations gathered from overt sexualization of human beings because they are an agency that provides legal support and therapy services to child victims of SEXUAL ABUSE! What do you fail to understand about that?

I see that you're trying to inject classism into this. The CACDC helps children and families from every socioeconomic status and also receives help and support from all those groups as long as it doesn't involve sex or sexualization of human beings. This seems to be a point you are willfully ignoring. Why is that?

In closing, should you ever stop hiding behind a keyboard and volunteer at the CACDC, you might be surprised at how many tattooed people are supporting the center, especially some of the rich ladies with ink.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@matthall2099 

Are you sure about that? You might be surprised at how funds that are donated by MC's to charities such as yours are raised. Bikini bike-washes are one quite common method - far racier than anything these ladies have done.

Just admit it -You don't want the name Tattooed Hippie Pirate Momma's listed as a donor on your list next to the Highland Park Ladies Garden Club for fear of offending the latter.

It's a shitty reason, but at least it would be the truth.

fsawtelle
fsawtelle

@samanthaosborn80 I'm glad they were there for you, Sam. My posts about priorities were intended to comment on the short-sightedness of the CACDC and of one person who values buying tattoos over feeding kids. Nothing more.

lindsey.taflinger
lindsey.taflinger

@darren.dupre  have you even looked at the pictures? In many of them women are fully-clothed.... Just because it's sexy to you doesn't mean it's intent is to evoke sexual arousal.  That's a choice by the viewer.   

darren.dupre
darren.dupre

@matthall2099 @darren.dupre Refusing to accept a donation because the money was raised from the sales of a SLIGHTLY risque calendar is a statement of morality and politics. Look up the definition of politics, it relates to how people interact with other people in society. 

They may not wish to endorse specific candidates or parties, but they are endorsing a conservative worldview.

matthall2099
matthall2099

@darren.dupreTheir refusal to accept the donation stems from the pictures of women in their underwear.

You're perception of political bias extends from your imagination or lack of information.

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