The Next Five Partying-in-Vegas Movies after the Awful-Looking Last Vegas

Categories: Film and TV

The above trailer is for an actual movie about old guys partying in Vegas, coming to your local cineplex on November 1. (Sample joke: "Do you have any drugs?" "Does Lipitor count?") (Sample reaction: throws self into nearest sinkhole.)

But Last Vegas isn't the last Vegas movie coming your way in the next couple years. According to IMDB, these five films are all in production or post-production. And there are no doubt more; if you've heard of any others, throw them in the comments.

*****

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David Shankbone
Bookin' Vegas
A pack of prudish librarians descends on Las Vegas for an annual conference. But when one of them mistakes Larry Flynt's Hustler Club for a session on free speech, they're pulled into Vegas' glittered embrace.

Welcomed by a friendly librarian-turned-stripper, our bookishly sexy heroes shed their chunky glasses, take down their poorly conditioned hair and take accidental hits of MDMA, sending them on a day-long bender of gambling, stripping and casual sex, complete with expertly improvised literary reference humor.

Lessons are learned; boobies are shown; Dewey Decimal jokes are made.

Starring: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Jane Lynch as a sassy strip-club house mom.

*****

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That's not baby formula! That's cocaine! LOOK WHO'S TALKING REALLY FAST!
Vegas, Baby
When a group of women wants to celebrate their first year as moms, they decide to do it in Las Vegas. But they make one mistake: They take their babies with them!

Taking advantage of a hungover babysitter, the crafty 1-year-olds slip into their darkest jeans and tightest onesies for a night on the town. And it's not long until they learn the first rule of Vegas: There's no changing table in the Champagne room.

Lessons are learned; boobies are suckled; What to Expect jokes are made.

Starring: All the E-Trade babies and Jane Lynch as a sassy strip-club house mom.

*****

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Alf shows up post-credits.
Life on Vegas
When a group of bored, 20-something alien bros escape from Area 51, they know they need to make it to the closest big city. What they don't know is what high jinks await them there.

After quickly mastering humans' inferior games of chance, the advanced race of oddly witty space people use their winnings to fund an epic night on the town, featuring drugs ("I'm gradually relinquishing control of my cognitive and motor skills!"); lap dances ("Usually, I'm doing the probing!"); and dubstep ("Wait, is this music?")

Lessons are learned; boobies are seen, counted, scanned and digitally stored for later research; Alf jokes are made and then immediately commented on in a highly meta fashion.

Starring: Various Traditionally Handsome Human Males, Alf and Jane Lynch as a sassy strip-club house mom.

*****

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It looks like a ceiling decoration but it's actually Eliza Dushku.
Life After Vegas
A longtime VIP host at the famous Ghostbar is ready to give up on Vegas. But when he goes back to the club in the daylight to pick up his final check, he runs into some unexpected guests: actual ghosts!

The four ghosts of Vegas' past -- a stripper, a pit boss, a lounge singer and a house DJ, all killed in a little-publicized incident involving Lil Wayne's entourage and a coked-up chimp (flashback!) -- convince the forlorn host to take them out for one more night on the strip. They teach him to love Vegas life again in the process -- and teach themselves that it's OK to let go of it.

Lessons are learned; boobies are unwittingly ghost-fondled; jokes about the sublime lack of hangovers in the afterlife are made.

Starring: Jane Lynch and the entire cast of Bring It On for some reason.

*****

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Mocbar
"I'M PEAKING."
Hangover 4: An Actual Wolf Pack in Vegas
When a pack of wolves is trucked to Las Vegas for an extravagant new circus act, they're supposed to be caged up in the basement of Caesar's. But the wolves have a different plan altogether: showing Vegas how wolves really party.

Everything starts off innocently enough, with an epic trip through the buffet line and a memorable run at the craps table. But things go awry when the dice go cold and one of the wolves eats the craps dealer, sending our lovable wolf pack on a madcap adventure during which they eat three more craps dealers, an escort they really didn't think was an escort and a sassy strip-club house mom played by Jane Lynch.

Lessons are learned; boobies are eaten; many, many Wolfgang Puck jokes are made.

Starring: Arnie Hammer


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