Nine Dallas End of the World Parties That'll Make You Forget the Pending Apocalypse

Not The End of the World Party, at UT Arlington Planetarium -- If you have even the slightest tinge of fear that all earthly matter will dissolve by Saturday, I've got a little advice: Spend time with nerds. Yep. When standing in the nucleus of nerd cloud, things are just put into perspective. They say smart stuff about space, and you nod and smile. Join the space dorks of the UT Arlington Planetarium from 7 p.m. to midnight or detonation ― whichever. They'll have educational lectures, programs, and telescope observation hours. You'll feel a lot better about Saturday morning.

Mayans Meet Miami, at the Sandbar Cantina-- If you'd like to close scene while surrounded by beautiful people, a buffet and -- I don't know -- the biggest party in your time zone, then this is the one for you. By the kindly Sandbar employee's telling, this party reads like an epic frat bash from an '80s film; I half-expected a "virgin" sacrifice with a Jäger volcano. The evening is dress to impress with a ten dollar cover, and you can still get sweaty -- those volleyball courts will be in full swing, along with ping pong and darts. You'll see the DJ, reigning high on a 14' tall set-up, while a massive screen provides eye-candy projections. Oh, and you won't need a winter coat -- or notice the approaching comet -- because that whole patio is enclosed in a 45' tall tent. Still not enough for you? Fine, the first 200 folks who show up get a free drink.

End of the World Beer Pong Tournament at Ash Studios -- This party is much more than just a beer pong tournament: It's THE LAST BEER PONG TOURNAMENT! Part of Green Bandana Group's end-of-year Ash Friday parties, this week is a special edition, with the boys beaming in a little summertime fun to combat the pending End of Days. The winning team scores a $250 cash prize! And that ain't all: You'll get graffiti, music by DJ Killtron and DJ Genova, beer, a bonfire and digital art projections by Fred Villanueva. Take that, you sneaky, yet-to-be-seen comet.

Medieval Times -- Here's the deal: This playground of the absurd hasn't scheduled anything aside from their already perfect programming for Friday, but it's still a plan worth considering. Just think: If a comet should land on Earth and things get all rowdy, there's no better place to hole up. Medieval Times is, literally, a fortress. Also, if biblical prophecy unfolds, wouldn't it be nice to have a few horsemen of your own?

Mayan Apocalypse Night at the Granada -- Leave it to those rascals at the Granada to extreme match their final hours. They'll welcome annihilation with the cinematic stretch of Texas band We Will Destroy You. Hmm, looks like you'll be dodging oblivion from all angles. They'll have support by True Widow and the Angelus.

PhD's End of the World Party -- Consider this one a party for your pocketbook, with wells and domestics priced at $3 and draft beers and wines set at $5. And you'll be serenaded, right up until the end, with patio grooves by Kathy Corbin of The Barefoot Hippies and Bella Estrada of Ciao Bella. They'll close the set at midnight with a special rendition of R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know it." Personally, I feel fine.