83 Things We Learned in 2012
With a long lens, you can see Kate Middleton's boobs.
Everyone needs to be nicer to the weird kids.
Don't leave the monkey in the car too long when you're at IKEA.
Jon Stewart is always correct.
God is great, God is good, we must photograph our food.
Whitney Houston was a bigger mess than anyone knew.
When Twitter goes down, it's like being thrown into solitary.
Zuckerberg owns us all.
"Don't send email to your mistress" should be part of orientation for becoming head of the Central Intelligence Agency.
They'll tell you kale chips are good, but they are not.
Miss America isn't famous anymore.
Armageddon didn't start after Obama was re-elected.
Somehow we hoped Neil Armstrong and Larry Hagman would live forever.
Abe Vigoda is still alive (and will be 92 in February).
Jessica Simpson's body rejects her goal weight.
Olympic gold medal swimmer Ryan Lochte was perfect as "the sex idiot" on 30 Rock.
A cater waiter with a cell phone video can affect a presidential election.
Hulk Hogan forgot to check for hidden cameras.
People in the Middle East are allowed to miss a lot of work days protesting.
Gyms and coffee shops are full all day now.
Nobody's figured out what LinkedIn is good for.
We will never run out of Kardashians.
Hair chalk didn't work.