7 Fourth of July Parties To Get You Laid
Let your parents go to parades, petting zoos, dog shows and other boring crap: here's where to party for the Third and Fourth of July. Now let's do red white and blue Jell-O shots, get some bad tattoos and set this thang off, Dallas.
The Devil's Bowl -- A hidden treasure: Just 20 minutes east in Mesquite sits the Devil's Bowl, a tiny gem of cheap beer, custom car racing and fireworks. Races start at 8 p.m. and you'll see all kinds of homespun autos, from Race Saver 305 Sprints and Late Models, to USA Modifieds and Street Stocks -- and since this very cool Texas event is isolated on the Dallas outskirts you'll be primarily surrounded by the families of competing racers. Whoever is sitting closest to you is who you should root for. It's $12 to get in (they accept debit cards at the gate), then super cheap beer and fried foods, but you'll need folding money to buy those (roughly $3 a pop).
When the last car has skidded across the finish line, there's a pretty serious (read: excitingly dangerous) fireworks show, made all the more thrilling due to the rivers of spilled gasoline. Check out Deb, our Overserved columnist's review of the races here.
Kaboom Town -- If your main objective is to see stuff that goes blammo, there's this trusty staple in Addison. Complete with an air show, performances by the Dallas Wind Symphony and Emerald City and enough explosions to please even the snobbiest pyromaniac, Kaboom Town has become the default fireworks display of the masses.
Midnight Poule Party at Joule -- Here's the scoop with this odd party: You don't get in the pool at Joule and the fireworks are over long before you get to the rooftop (It begins 10:30 p.m.). Think of it as a see and be seen affair with lots of skyline glass clinking. You'll need to RSVP@thejouledallas.com. If reservations are closed by the time you shoot your email, go by SXSW rules and show up anyway. You're clever: pull a Jedi mind trick (bribe).
Put Joey Chestnut and Kobayashi to shame at the Libertine on Wednesday.
Daytime at the F.O.E. -- While there isn't an official party happening at the Fraternal Order of Eagles, what could be more American than the F.O.E.? ITS TOTEM ANIMAL IS AN EAGLE. Let those boys grill you up some hotdogs and hamburgers poolside and serve you cheap drinks and Jell-O shots. Unlike your buddy's annual backyard cookout, this party is guaranteed flirting with cute strangers in swimwear. Done.
I-69? I-69? -- Bingo at Single Wide -- While both of Dallas' favorite 'Wides will be bumpin', the Greenville location is throwing a Freedom Bingo bash with prizes (read: booze) and a DJ. Plus, it's super close to the party at Libertine.
Brass Knuckle Corndog Beatdown at Libertine -- Fans of competitive eating and general gastrointestinal distress will be in full force at this annual bash. There are prizes (bar tabs) for the victors, who bravely sacrifice their digestive liberties for your amusement.
Fireworks -- Yes, they're everywhere. The old retired man who lives inside my brain can't deal with the traffic jams and parking situations that come from driving to see fireworks, so I'll either abuse a friend's rooftop or go to a bar perch like the Belmont to watch 'em. If you're an up-close type of soul, here's a list of the big ones: Fair Park Fourth, Fourth of July in Grapevine, Lone Star Park and the City of Irving's symphony and fireworks event.