Top 100 Reasons Texas Is Twice as Awesome as Any Other State

armadillobeertexas.jpg
Merritt Martin
Oh, you can damn well bet this is on the list.
By now most of you dear readers are well aware of the Gawker-produced list of the 50 Worst States In America. Gawker placed their home base at 50, and the Lone Star State at 13. Sure sure, our placement could be worse, but instead of celebrating that, we'd rather point out the reasons our fair state is better, nay, the best.

While many of our sister publications' blogs (including our H-Town sib) and other blogs in general are doling out their own lists of the 50 Reasons Their [Insert State Name] Rules Hard, we decided to approach our list in true Texas fashion: bigger, badder and crazy-diverse, with just the right amount of sass and dust-kicking.

We not-so-humbly present, in no particular order, The Top 100 Reasons Texas Is Twice as Awesome as Your State:

1. NASA
2. World class birding. Even in the middle of Dallas at White Rock Lake.
3. Tex-Mex
4. El Capitan
5. South Padre Island (best sand castle sand in the world)
6. Molly Ivins
7. Ann Richards
8. Taco Cabana
9. Sons of Hermann Hall
10. Barton Springs, Balmorhea, Krause Springs and all the rest
11. When Katrina refugees needed places to stay, we took them in.

Nolan Ryan.jpg
12. Nolan Ryan
13. Willie Nelson
14. Robert Earl Keen, Guy Clark, Billy Joe Shaver, Lyle Lovett and Townes Van Zandt
15. The most popular poker game in the world isn't called New York Hold 'Em, is it?
16. The Frio River
17. The Alamo Drafthouse Movie Theater
18. Bottle Rocket, Reality Bites and Robocop were filmed here.
19. Also, Giant, Logan's Run, Fandango and No Country for Old Men.
20. The Last Picture Show, Bonnie and Clyde, Lonesome Dove and Dazed and Confused, too.

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Patrick Michels
21. Walker, Texas Fucking Ranger OR Chuck Norris
22. Texas high school football is Friday Night Lights.
23.In some Texas towns, you can hear native Texans speaking Spanish, German and Polish.
24. Oh, and Czech, too
25. The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders

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85 comments
jcorder
jcorder

Whataburger, Cadillac Ranch, Big Texan, Blue Bell, Palo Duro (2nd largest canyon in the nation), Dr. Pepper.  Why ask to name people and see if they count when they aren't from Texas?  You didn't even get George Strait.  There's more to Texas than just people though. Oh and for the love of God, UT Austin is not the only D1 school in Texas.  We actually hold a record of how many universities we have. 

Colin T Madigan
Colin T Madigan

and its cheap enough to save up and move the fuck out of that shit hole too

Megan Dodson
Megan Dodson

I wish half of these weren't references to celebrity culture. People don't benefit from living here because of that and they're just people.

Mike Hathaway
Mike Hathaway

Ummm.. "more mega-churches" is hardly something to celebrate

Jason Haeger
Jason Haeger

Hmm.. Tennessee might have a "richer" music heritage, but I don't argue. God bless Texas.

ronbryzon
ronbryzon

And the 'Number One' reason what's great about Texas..... 'Obama is not from here'.

ronbryzon
ronbryzon

Because I am here......period.

Jon Jackson
Jon Jackson

Chuck Norris is a steaming pile of excrement, but the rest of the list is more or less spot on.

mossgathers
mossgathers

Seriously, the Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleaders? There are so many things that would knock that off the list. Girls dressed like hookers cheering for brain injury is not even on the radar for what makes Texas great. 

tavia82
tavia82

7 eleven, Bonnie and Clyde, Neiman Marcus

Kenny
Kenny

Well I am shocked that there was no Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo!!!

Anon101
Anon101

My school started us in 1st grade...then again, I was in a gifted program at the time and we were learning things the grades above us were learning 

HillCountryTx
HillCountryTx

The Houston Chronicle did a much better job with their list and they only named 50 things. How do you have twice as many and not name whataburger?

furniture stores Corpus Christ
furniture stores Corpus Christ

Torremolinos Shopping Centre has two pedestrian entrances, one from the Avenida Palma de Mallorca - the main artery road of Torremolinos - and another from the pedestrian Plaza de la Independencia. A third entrance is in the parking of Isabel Manoja Street, which opens 24 hours. To ensure that customers can shop in comfort, within the grounds are enabled a children's play area and restaurants where you can take a break and a snack. 

The Pistol
The Pistol

Maves get a shout-out over the Spurs, Any Bias here, you decide: Since their inaugural 1980–81 season, the Mavericks have won three division titles (1987, 2007, 2010), two conference championships (2006, 2011), and one NBA Championship (2011).San Antonio Spurs Since joining the NBA in 1976-77Companionship 4 (1999, 2003, 2005, 2007)Conference titles 4 (1999, 2003, 2005, 2007)Division titles 17 (1978, 1979, 1981, 1982, 1983, 1990, 1991, 1995, 1996, 1999, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2009, 2011) and yeah I live in San Antonio but really who has the more impressive record?

ObserverFan
ObserverFan

God, nothing brings out the whiners more than a list.

Gorgydan
Gorgydan

Um those earthquakes you feel are from Oklahoma

Joe
Joe

Unless I missed these:

O'Neil Ford.Integrated circuit was invented here.Pocket transistor radio was invented here.more species of bat than any other state.

spd
spd

Who ever wrote this made it blatantly clear they are a longhorns fan. A&M is part of Texas, too. How about a little love now?

Zoeym80-tx
Zoeym80-tx

You mentioned the mavs. But you failed to mention the San Antonio Spurs and the fact that they have 4 Championships!! I think that's another reason Texas is so great. But I'm not surprised you omitted that fact.

Tindalt
Tindalt

Did I miss a mention of the Tyler Rose, Earl Campbell and many of the other great athletes not named Nolan Ryan

sphillipstcu
sphillipstcu

Are we not going to acknowledge the San Antonio Spurs domination of NBA championships? I know the Mavs are actually worth mentioning now that Cuban has gotten his way but, I feel in the spirit of Texas we could combine our NBA championship numbers for #101

Texasdave60
Texasdave60

What?  "Night of the White Pants" and "Love and a .45" don't make the cut?  Dallas' own Amy and C.M. Talkington oughta make the list.

David
David

Travel Channel has Schlitterbahn down as the number 1 water park in the world, but didnt make your list??? Instead Mark C and the Dallas mavs, your kidding right? Rockets 2 rings, Spurs 4 rings, Mavs ONE. Fiesta in SA and TX BBQ should have been listed much higher.

trimps
trimps

this is some delusional homer-type bullshit right here..

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall

Real Ale (Blanco TX)- to go with Shiner and RahrBarbara Jordan - who could give a speach that would make rock get up and march

Robert
Robert

23.In some Texas towns, you can hear native Texans speaking Spanish, German and Polish.

24. Oh, and Czech, too

The Texans speaking German, Polish, Czech, Slovac, and Wendish are dying off, brofessor.

Oh, and there was an Oak Cliff guy who could speak them all.

CR
CR

I didn't realize how awesome Texas was 20 years ago. 

houstonite
houstonite

you forgot blue bell ice cream and chappell hill sausage

txdust80
txdust80

This list I can tell is dallas biased.  Mark Cuban?  This is suppose to be a state wide list and Mark Cuban made the list while Tim Duncan, Stevie ray Vaughn, Texas instruments,  Texas's booming wineries.  Heck there are some many things that trump Cuban.  

Jackie Stephens
Jackie Stephens

I could have missed it, but I didn't see Audie Murphy in that list. 

Paul
Paul

Even if this was made a Top 1,000 reasons it would still be too short and many items would be left out ... People:  Jim Hogg, Pappy Lee O'Daniel, Ross Sterling, Glenn McCarthy, Janis Joplin, HL Hunt and all of the Hunt clans, Sam Houston, William B. Travis, Stephen F. Austin, and all of the other scamps, scoundrels and bigger than life people ... Places:  Caddo Lake, Browder Springs, PKL, Piney Woods, Blackland Praire, Permian Basin, Llano Estacado, Palo Duro Canyon, Enchanted Rock, Big Bend, McCommas Bluff, Edwards Plateau, Guadalupe Mountain ... just to name a few ... Things:  Spindletop, Santa Rita No. 1, DMA, deMenil Collection, Bayou Bend, Jim Hall Museum, Ft. Worth Stock Show and Rodeo, THE State Fair of Texas, Fair Park .... Oh and one other thing ... Counties that are larger than several states ...

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

@furniture stores Corpus Christ Good to know, thanks a bunch!!!

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

@The Pistol Except the Spurs are completely hateable since D Rob left and the Mavs have dirty Dirk Diggler. 

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

@ObserverFan "wah wah I hate whiners" - ObserverFan

mixmastermod
mixmastermod

With respect, Tim Duncan may be real swell, but he didn't win MVP this year, nor did his team take the championship.

SRV has been addressed, as have a ton of the musicians we didn't have room to list because there's just too damn many. Maybe DC9 can swing that list!

Paul
Paul

Ummmm ... isn't the magazine called The Dallas Observer?

Garrrgoyle
Garrrgoyle

And what about Whataburger? Created in Corpus Christi! 

cowtownracefan43
cowtownracefan43

a thousand might come close, but several people/places/things were omitted from this list, such as:

People: omit gov.ann & molly, replace with PHYLIS GEORGE (you gotta to love a Miss America that can  'saw off a few chords of the Orange Blossom Special') add AUDIE MURPHY (USA's most decorated soldier-ever), CHESTER NIMITZ (greatest sailor since LORD NELSON) the first king of country music, BOB WILLS (my hawaiian grandma's favorite musician) and another pretty good musican VAN CLIBURN, dang me, i forgot another musican-ROGER MILLER,

Places: San Jacinto Monument (ours has stood thru a more than a few hurricanes and is actually taller than that cracked one in d.c.), largest state capitol building (also taller than that crackpot filled one in d.c.), we were the first to have our own battleship (the soon to be 100 year old USS TEXAS BB-36), the largest inland population center in the world (DFW), the largest airport in the world (bigger than that island in NYC-and better than that one in france), home of the AMERICAN QUARTERHORSE (best breed of man's noblest companion), cowboy capitol of the world-Stephenville, worlds' largest rodeo and stock show, the oscar meyerson (where else are you going to see Robert-don't call me bob-Plant and Charlie Pride-oh yeah that Hammlish guy, from the same seat), great art musuems (KIMBALL, CARTER, MODERN),

Things: Col. Travis' letter to General Sam on the eve of the battle of the ALAMO (makes me tear up every time i hear/read it), ice houses, rice (TEXAS grows more rice than Japan or any other state-nearly all the rice companies at HQ'd in houston), freeway interchanges, golf (well maybe we didn't invent it, but Texans damnsure perfected it-see Byron Nelson, Ben Hogan, Tom Kite, Freddie Couples, i could go on), fajitas, helium (TEXAS has over 90% of the known supply), BLUEBELL, SHINER BOK, deep-fried shrimp (CHRISTIES' SEAFOOD in houston invented the stuff), racin' (ok maybe we didn't invent that either, but again we perfected it-see AJ FOYT, JOHNNY RUTHERFORD, LLOYD RUBY, JIM HALL, the LABONTE brothers, BEN SPIES, COLIN EDWARDS, MIKE KIDD, i could go on-also almost forgot the F1-USGP, in austin november,2012), famous quotations (for example DAVY CROCKETT upon his leaving, said YA'LL CAN GO TO HELL-I'M GOIN TO TEXAS, DRIVE FRIENDLY, and WHO SHOT JR?), best little 'chicken ranch'-a story made the careers of many people (see ZZ TOP, DAN RATHER, DOLPH BRISCOE, TOMMY TUNE,  i could go on),

i'm sure i'm forgeting something

sphillipstcu
sphillipstcu

 ....And how many do the mavs have in comparison?

Paul
Paul

I still like "counties bigger than several states" ... good list though ...

Remember the old saying: "Never ask a feller where he's from, 'cause if he ain't from Texas you'll jes' embarass him ... and if he is, he'll tell ya anyway ..."

mixmastermod
mixmastermod

All of those great. But minds are truly blown that we, admittedly, forgot Blue Bell. How we did that, there's no telling.

The helium thing is also way cooler than cool.

Dalton
Dalton

I've always said Never ask a man where he is from because if he's from Texas you'd know.  If he's not then who cares.

Rattatner
Rattatner

Carol Burnet, "Don't Mess with Texas", 'Lady Bird' Johnson (championed beautifying the highways), the River Walk in SA (many cities have based their river walks on the SA model), the ferry to Port Aransas, Austin City Limits (the PBS show), Michael Nesmith and his mom (He was one of The Monkees and she invented Liquid Paper)

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