As a French princess or prince in the early 18th century, if you wanted to shit in a golden toilet, you simply commissioned a golden toilet. And from lavish latrines alike bore the tropes of the Rococo movement, which stands voluptuous and well hung next to other styles.

Homeland Security, the keen and dynamic little gallery house in The Cedars neighborhood, is curating an exhibit in playful homage titled, "Dirty New Rococo," in the same hood, at 1415 Beaumont today.

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Art Conspiracy has released its list of selected artists for Mounted, the taxidermy-inspired fundraising auction happening on June 8, at Life in Deep Ellum.

Look out: It's full of local the talents you know and lust after. Team Dowdy's onboard, and likely creating something posthumously adorable; local collectable favorite Cabe Booth will take a stab at the task; Dallas Observer Mastermind Erica Felicella is cracking her knuckles; yard portrait goddess Corey Godfrey is sharpening her knitting needles; graffiti activist/painter/sculpture, Cube Creative's Kevin Obregon has been tapped, and so have roughly 35 other artists of varied mediums and approaches.

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Jaap van Zveden and Co. are finishing with a bang. A bunch of them, actually.

Last night the Dallas Symphony Orchestra went out with a song and a bang. This weekend marks the final performance in the orchestra's 2012/2013 classical season and they chose a showy finale, maxing out the Meyerson's stage with the apocalyptic, hedonistic music of Carl Orff's Carmina Burana.

Carmina Burana is a crowd pleaser, and an almost-packed house proved its ability to draw the masses. The orchestra still seems to be riding a high from a hugely successful European tour, and they took some time last night to thank a few big donors who helped along the way (there were Perots and McDermotts in the crowd to name a few). The whole concert had a celebratory feel, as if Jaap van Zweden was flexing his musical muscles one last time before the summer break.

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"I've just got something to get off my chest!"

Twin Shadow's touring in support of his 2012 release Confess, but for this go he's doing things a little differently by bringing his dad along. The pair will collaborate, telling different real-life stories at each stop, including the Granada on June 24.

That got us thinking: "Hey, we like awkward overshares. And parties."

Fast forward to Sundown at Granada on Tuesday, June 11: Mixmaster; the Granada; Dallas' storytelling squadron, Oral Fixation; and local musicians will combine powers to present TRUE STORIES: Behind the Music, a free evening of sordid real-life confessions, soaked in booze and possibly lit on fire.

Oral Fixation brings four polished rock 'n' roll tales to the the rooftop lounge starting at 8 p.m., so you'll see how the pros do it. Then things will get rowdier as we pull musicians from local bands on stage, give 'em a microphone and several shots of whiskey, and let 'em confess their strangest, funniest or most uncomfortable moments from life on tour. When all sins have been absolved, we'll drink more, then read anonymous admissions of guilt that were phoned in by -- well, you.

See Also:
Oral Fixation Season Two: The Best Stories are Still Untold

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The future home of The Wild Detectives

Just a few porches east of 8th and Bishop in Oak Cliff sits an unassuming 1940s home. Surrounded by residential properties, the white 2/1 doesn't appear fated for grand ambitions. But if local literary activists Paco Vique and Javier Garcia del Moral get their way, that's precisely what's going to happen.

Soon, this neglected crash pad will convert into The Wild Detectives, Dallas' only independent bookstore that focuses on new, rather than used, inventory.

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Stephen Eastwood/Lynx

2009 Cliburn Gold Medalist Nobuyuki Tsujii

On Wednesday morning, the lobby of Bass Hall in Fort Worth was crammed with photographers, reporters, and news crews buzzing around the 30 young pianists gathered from around the world to compete in the 14th Van Cliburn International Piano Competition Guide starting tomorrow. A shiny pink Cadillac glimmered in the sun outside the hall. The six Italian pianists who were crammed into the car were wearing cowboy hats, laughing hysterically and totally hamming it up for the cameras.

Inside, 26-year-old Russian competitor Yuri Favorin tried to grab some breakfast between interviews. Before he could finish his muffin, he was whisked off to have his custom-fitting for a pair of Justin's cowboy boots. Favorin flew in on Monday from China where he played a concert over the weekend. This was not only his first trip to Texas, but his first time in the United States. He looked around with a sort of dazed, overwhelmed stare at the people, the cameras, the hats and the boots.

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The greatest film ever made about a time-traveling DeLorean soundtracked by Huey Lewis will screen for free in the Arts District's Strauss Square on Sunday, June 2. It's the next installment of the popular (and BYOB) Sunset Screening film series. Reserve tables and lawn seats to watch it here. The show starts at 8:30 p.m.

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Arrested Development Season 4 starts Sunday.

Prepare for extreme leisure, Dallas. The next four days are filled with drag queens, water balloon battles, brewery celebrations, rotten tomato chucking and top secret art shows.

Send out the group text and make a plan. And click on the event titles for more information. I'll see you out there. (I'll be the one doing a chicken dance.)

Thursday 5.23

Noche de Rumba -- The LULAC Young Adult Rainbow Council brings back the time-capsuled fundraising bachelor/bachelorette auction concept Thursday night, and as an update they've added Dallas' fiercest drag queen emcee, Jenna Skyy. Paying for companionship has never been so charitable.

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They're back this Friday.

Every week we highlight the best comedy of the coming weekend. Find more comedy events at dallasobserver.com/calendar.

Jon Reep at Hyena's in Fort Worth
North Carolina native Jon Reep has been on NBC's Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central's Premium Blend and the half-hour special Comedy Central Presents: Jon Reep. On stage, he cycles through a never-ending cast of characters and proves why he's a real redneck. Take his thoughts on tubing -- it's the best way to pee and drink in the same spot. And did you know you don't need skis to have fun on a river? You can pull anything that floats. An air mattress? Pull it! A garage door? Pull it! Reep will be here this Thursday through Saturday, and Thursday's show is 100 percent free. More money for SoCo, I guess.

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Van Cliburn competitor Alex McDonald

The audience swelled with pride as Alex McDonald took his seat at the grand piano and lifted his long, slender fingers to the keys. Tall, blonde and clean-cut, 30-year old McDonald carries himself like the kind of man your mom wishes you'd marry. And that handsome face is a familiar one to the group of piano teachers gathered last Wednesday morning in the sanctuary of Park Cities Presbyterian Church to hear him perform at a meeting of the Dallas Music Teachers Association (DMTA). (Disclosure: I'm a member).

McDonald addressed the group with casual confidence before playing selections by Ravel and Liszt. The performance doubled as a sort of dress rehearsal for the pianist, who will play these pieces and many more in the coming weeks as a competitor in the 14th Van Cliburn International Piano Competition in Fort Worth.

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