The Problem With... M.I.A.'s "Bad Girls"


Among the colorful palette of artists in pop music today, I've noticed parallels between M.I.A. and Kanye West. Both have taken their wealth and branched out into other artistic media, both rarely watch their words, and both apparently like making videos set in the desert with cars.

The difference between the two is that Kanye has grown with every album and backed up his outspoken attitude with great tunes, while M.I.A.'s output has declined with every album. Artists ranging from Shabazz Palaces to Gang Gang Dance have beat M.I.A. at her own high-impact, abstract art game since her vindicating mixtape, Vicki Leekx, dropped on the eve of 2011.

Speaking of games, during last Sunday's Super Bowl halftime performance, I was more impressed by that dancer with the propeller leg and that dude bouncing off the tightrope on his crotch than M.I.A.'s middle-finger stunt.

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The Problem With... The Cranberries' "Tomorrow"

Last year saw a wave of popular bands from a few decades ago reuniting and releasing new material. The wave continues this year with new albums from Van Halen, puzzling announcements by Fiona Apple, and the Irish yodeling of Dolores O'Riordan and The Cranberries. The band will release a new album, Roses, in a few weeks and has scheduled a Spring tour in Europe and Australia with Lenny Kravitz and Wolfmother.

Their latest single, "Tomorrow," is a light rock song with jangling rhythm. The guitar work doesn't stand out as much as classic singles like "Dreams" or "Zombie," and the by-the-numbers songcraft shows they've grown up and settled down a bit.

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The Problem With... Train's "Drive By"

When reviewing previous Train songs in my column, I imagined lead singer Pat Monahan as one of those guitar-playing guys on college campuses who hasn't grown out of it. A few years later, I'm starting to understand Train's target demographic might be the women who were captivated by these jerks when they were students. Even though the women have moved on, they may wish for a guy who will whisk them away on a white horse to a romance-novel dreamworld.

Of course, I'm stereotyping. Yet my description uses fewer cliches than a typical Train song.

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The Problem With... Will.i.am's "T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever)"

After a merciful summer and fall without The Black Eyed Peas, the group announced they would take a hiatus. My first reaction was relief.

However, my second reaction was wordless dread. This means Fergie and Will.i.am's egos are no longer contained by editorial buffers Apl.de.ap and Taboo. Will is releasing his latest album, #willpower, next month. The cancer I call Black Eyed Peas has metastasized.

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The Problem With... Taylor Swift's "Safe & Sound" feat. The Civil Wars


Between her worldwide Speak Now Tour and controlling her possible mania, pop-country star Taylor Swift had quite a 2011. If Swift's latest single is any indication, we might see another side of her in 2012. A dark, apocalyptic side straight out of an early Stephen King novel.

"Safe & Sound" ties into an upcoming movie based on a young adult novel about kids killing each other for sport. I think it's called Battle Royale -- wait, it's actually The Hunger Games. The single is a somber acoustic lullaby with supporting strings and harmonizing vocals from Nashville folk duo The Civil Wars.

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The Problem With... Outasight's "Tonight Is the Night"


I often wonder how youth culture thinks up slang for something they like. For example, I wonder how the phrase "out of sight" came along. If something is out of your sight, how do you know it's good?

I also wonder where this New York musician in business-casual dress and Ray Bans came from.

Outasight's debut single, "Tonight Is the Night," was featured in a Pepsi ad last month, along with appearing on Fox's The X Factor. The ad included clips from earlier Pepsi spokespeople like Michael Jackson and Britney Spears. It sounds like a bid to associate their fame with an untested new artist from the show... and Outasight's track. Isn't synergy great?

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The Problem With ... Mac Miller's "Party on Fifth Ave"

When a new, hyped-up rapper appears on the charts, I play a game in which I compare a rapper with others on the charts and judge whether they positively contribute to the hip hop. I call that game "What's! Their! Niche!!!"

Today's contestant is ... Mac Miller from Pittsburgh! Come on dooown!

Mac Miller recently released his debut studio album Blue Side Park. Like a few artists in this generation, he has employed social networks to promote himself and his videos. He also has a rich local scene to back him up. A few mixtapes showed his sincerity and motivation, I think he believes he's doing it for the art. How does his studio debut show that?

His latest single "Party on Fifth Ave" samples DJ Kool's "Let Me Clear My Throat." Other than the old-school sound, the production is a bit tame for a song that claims to be a party track.

The sample is just the song's first bid at nostalgia. Mac rhymes about LA Gear Light Ups, Beetlejuice and using words like "fly." Mac's lyricism sounds sloppy and desperate to impress listeners with knowledge of old-school themes.

The only thing "party" about this track is the title. Everything else was an afterthought.

What Mac seems to bring to the table is nostalgia and party themes. The problem with the first part is that a glut of rappers already rap about cartoons and cool toys we used to have as kids: Murs, Jay Electronica, Asher Roth, Lupe Fiasco even Travie McCoy brings up boomboxes when its convenient.

Mac seems more interested in merely the idea of parties and old-school hip hop. The good news is he's young, so he still has time to learn how to deploy his ideas credibly.

Also white boy's gotta stop saying "fly." It reminds me of a certain Offpring song.

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The Problem With... Britney Spears' "Criminal"

In the last months of 2011, Britney Spears' career is the cat in Schrodinger's sealed box -- it's both alive and dead. Most often, the swan song of a pop star's career is a Lifetime Achievement Award, which Spears received at this year's MTV Video Music Awards in August.

As a contrast from her earlier dance-floor singles, "Criminal" has a folksy sound. It starts with a Ren-faire recorder and a acoustic guitar chord -- it's like the first minutes of "Stairway to Heaven" but blander.

The lyrics and video seem like a steamy romance novel -- the girl-meets-bad-boy kind. The lyrics set up this guy as a smarmy scrub (He's a loser, he's a bum... he's a sucker).

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The Problem With.... Flo Rida's "Good Feeling"


Flo Rida has only become more and more interchangeable and average since he transitioned from R&B party music like 2008's "Low" to poppish party music like 2009's "Right Round." 

At this point, he oughta change his name to Cam Ofloj. Or something similar.

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The Problem With... Bruno Mars' "It Will Rain"

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Bruno Mars



I guess the reason I dislike Bruno Mars so much is that his sensitive, artistic bad boy image likely only appeals to impressionable young girls.

That's probably why Bruno's "It Will Rain" is synergisticly matched with the upcoming movie in the Twilight series. Bruno's library and Twilight are both fairly tame, accessible ways to present unrealistic ideas about romance to their target audience. 

They're also both pretty badly written.

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