We’ve got quite a backlog of CDs we've never gotten around to, so we’re going to try to chip away at the pile with this regular feature. Some are left over from previous music editors, others fell by the wayside because they were trumped week after week by albums that looked more promising. The plan: to take four or five at a time and play each CD for as long as I can stand it.

If you were expecting this yesterday, as promised in the print product's "Seven Days Out," I apologize for the late delivery. Labor Day threw me; by “Tuesday,” I meant “The Second Workday of the Week.” Anyway, let’s get to it.

French Horn Rebellion
French Horn Rebellion (Milwaukee)
Here’s how hip and 21st Century Robert and David Perlick Molinari, the brothers who make up French Horn Rebellion, are: instead of listing track lengths in the CD’s liner notes, they list file size. The first two tracks are relentlessly cheery electro-pop before giving way to the thoughtful but no-less-cheesy “You’re Gonna Know.” It’s slick, unthreatening, unabashed pop. Not my thing, but the kids are gonna love it. Oh, and yes, they really do use French horn—really well, in fact.
I made it to: Track 5, “French Horn Rebellion.”

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Dallas Best Kept Top Secret
Various Artists (Dallas)
After an intro skit with a couple dudes buying some popcorn—and I don’t mean the kind you eat—the disc kicks off with Big Rule’s “Already No,” a D-Town-reppin’ club banger. Rule has plenty of funny lines, like “Big Rule burning the local chat / He like his ass like his Swishers and he’s smoking ‘em fat.” The whole album is full of the candy-paint baller braggadocio that’s all but required from Texas rappers, but it’s not relentlessly materialistic. Tubbsta and Big Rule’s “Lean Muzic” glorifies that purple stuff over a hypnotic slow beat, but also cautions against the drug’s downside—you might wake up with a stained throwback. “My nigga’s a barre baby, he loves to smoke pop / Almost flipped his ride over and he didn’t spill a drop.” This comp will make a fine addition to your Dirty South rap collection. Pick up a copy if you can find it.
I made it to: The end.

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Blowing Trees
Blowing Trees (San Antonio)
The band’s name (slang for smoking weed, in case you haven’t been listening to much hip-hop lately) and mean mugging on the back cover had me expecting rap-rock. So the girly singing and dramatic emo-rock guitar threw me for a loop. These guys would fit right in at The Door. [Editor's Note: They're actually playing The Cavern on June 28]
I made it to: halfway through Track 2.

One of the Boys
Katy Perry (Santa Barbara, CA)
This is very teen-friendly electronica-tinged pop rock from a proud girly girl. So teen-friendly that the word “jerking” (or maybe “jacking?”) is censored from the line “I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf/While j******** off, listening to Mozart” in the song “UR So Gay.” That song is a pretty clever kiss-off to some generic hipster. This CD probably has a shelf life of six months before the text-message teen-speak and Greg Wells-produced accompaniment is totally passé. Also, wasn’t there some other (female) singer who had a hit single called “I Kissed A Girl?”
I made it to: Through Track 2, then skipped to “UR So Gay.”

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Joe Buck Yourself
Joe Buck (Nashville)
Joe Buck, sideman to Hank III and a member of Th' Legendary Shack Shakers, has created an extremely abrasive solo album of country-tinged punk rock. He's got a very distinct gravelly voice and pronounced Southern accent well-suited to his lyrics, which are primarily concerned with the overabundance of motherfuckers in his world. For example, the chorus of Track 2, "Are You My Enemy?" is nothing but Buck screaming "Die! Motherfucker, die!" Other song titles include "I Want Revenge," "Bitter is the Day," and "Evil Motherfucker from TN."
I made it to: It started to get old by Track 6. I bet he'd be great live, though.

Here's to Being Here
Jason Collett (Ontario)
A Canadian folkie pairs Dylan-influenced vocal tics with the wimpiest Wilco impersonation possible.
I made it to: About 2:30 into Track 3.

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Dog of Love
Jo Carol Pierce (Austin)
Jo Carol Pierce combines folk, country, blues and easy-listening synth parts to create music that screams “Mom.” She’s got the raspy voice of a middle-aged smoker and sings about romantic obsession and booze. The subject matter and gravel-voice are not complemented by her affected, oddly child-like singing style.
I made it to: Track 3.

Try This On For Size
Spark is a Diamond (Philadelphia)
Screamo vocals, hardcore guitars and dance-punk beats are blended into one awful package. Like so many other screamo bands, they have two vocalists, one throat-shredding screamer and one singer who handles the melodic vocal parts. But there is some novelty here: It’s a chick who does the screaming and a dude who does the singing. Ever wanted to hear Salt ‘n’ Pepa’s “Push It” performed with buzzsaw guitars, pick slides and demonic screaming? Me neither.
I made it to: About 2:00 into Track 2, then skipped to “Push It” out of morbid curiosity.

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