The 10 Biggest Douchebags in Country Music

Categories: Columns

luke.jpg
Courtesy of the label

Mainstream country music gets an unfair rap as being universally over-polished and formulaic, a notion that artists like Kacey Musgraves and Eric Church obliterate every time they strap on their guitars. But there's a granule of truth to the stereotype, and a particularly damaging sub-genre -- known as "bro-country" -- is lending it far too much credibility right now.

Booze, chicks, jacked-up pickups, extreme redneck sports, spring break -- artists like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, and even Blake Shelton are leaning way too heavily on such themes in their music these days, and the entire trope can be summed up in one word: douchey. Yet bro-country isn't the only brand of 'baggery currently afflicting Nashville. No, douchebags are a diverse lot, and here are the 10 biggest 'bags currently cranking out (s)hits in Music City today:

tobyk.jpg
Courtesy of the label
Toby Keith

10. Toby Keith
Drinking has long been
fertile fodder for country songs. But for Keith, who's devoted entire
concept albums to the topic, it's too often the only fodder. His lyrical over-reliance on the bottle is at least partially responsible for spawning bro-country, and Keith also bears a heavy burden for souring the Dixie Chicks on country radio (and vice versa), a setback from which Nashville's female insurgency is only now recovering.

chazk.jpg
Courtesy of the label
Charles Kelley

9. Charles Kelley

He seems like a sweet, goofy guy, but sounds like supremo-'bag Michael Bolton, and is in a trio with "Lady" in its name. There's no place for the sort of soft-rock sheen Kelley brings to twang's table; it's high time Hillary Scott ditched the dudes and made Lady Antebellum all about the Lady.

danshay.jpg
Ram Country
Dan + Shay

8. Dan + Shay

This douchey duo is managed by Belieber-in-Chief Scooter Braun. That's the only argument we need.


gainesgarth.jpg
Courtesy of the label
Chris Gaines/Garth Brooks

7. Garth Brooks

Brooks admirably took a decade off in his prime to focus on his family, but we still can't get the Chris Gaines debacle out of our head, nor can we entirely dismiss it as the reason for Brooks's "retirement" in the first place.

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22 comments
osc707
osc707

LMAO, did a search for Bro Country music and found this article. Now I spent 30 minutes youtube'ing these videos and I will NEVER get that time back. Thanks bro country

tabair44
tabair44

you can call someone a DB because you dont like how they sing or the lyrics to their songs? well i dont like your article so does that make you a DB of journalism?

jnbary11
jnbary11

How about the biggest douchebags in Rap Music? I bet your leftist magazine doesn't touch that with a ten foot pole!

kkw211
kkw211

Resurrect Vern Gosdin and the Outlaws!

darrylrs
darrylrs

I think many of these DBs are just playing to their audience, just like Ann Coulter. They really don't like singing this cliched shit, but it brings in the bucks. Capitalism at its best.

julieamueller
julieamueller

Your are on the money when it comes to Luke Bryan & Florida Georgia Line.  Stupid songs, cookie cutter get them out quick songs for the simple minded.


There is no room for RAP in country music. Keep it in your own genre (in my opinion Rap is crap)


Yes, Rascal Flatts is nothing but a "Boy Band' with aging men. 


Toby Keith is so past his prime, he needs to quit. Another cookie cutter stupid songs for the simple minded.


Right on the money with regards to Taylor Swift.  She was great in the beginning, but now to commercial and full of herself.  Her early albums/songs had better writing.


Hunter Hayes is someone we need to watch. Talent to no end.  Hopefully he does not fall into the cookie cutter form.


Keith Urban is awesome!!!  He can play so many instruments, writes, sings, produces the whole package.  He is more new country with a lean on rock. He's my guy

Ugh.
Ugh.

Maybe you need to read about the reason Chris Gaines existed in the first place.

harlan.roberts
harlan.roberts

I'll take Hank Williams Sr., Patsy Cline and Jim Reeves over any of today's artists. 

DirtyP1
DirtyP1

Well dude for better or worse, this is country music. Musicians of just about any genre that are popular are castigated by guys like you. While I can understand your disdain for these artists, you might as well have also written another article saying the sky is blue and women really do fart. Must of these artists have made tens of millions, doubt they care much what a guy with a little blog does and doesn't like.

JohnGalt
JohnGalt

The Dixie Chicks are, themselves, douche bags. 

You have political opinions, I get it..feel free to aiir them  However, when you find that you've alienated your entire fan base, don't whine about your "First Amendment Rights," which only mean the GOVERNMENT can't jail you, not that you'll never suffer repercussions from misjudging your market. 

What the Chicks did was basically no different from, let's say, an NBA team owner making racist comments and then being surprised that he's no longer welcome.. 

becoolerifyoudid
becoolerifyoudid

Sometimes you have to ask yourself if the performer is purposefully doing a caricature and providing a level of satire.  David Allan Coe had many over the top country themed songs, but it was kind of a joke until the bottle was half empty and you start to sing along.  Of course, he had some legit songs as well. 


But the labels are appealing to the least common denominator whether the genre is country, rock, pop, whatever.

bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

Finding just 10 to label as the biggest douchebags, out of the entirety of country music stars, is a tall order.

woarabians
woarabians

Why would ANY woman - whether she's from Nashville or Ashville - EVER want to "recover" from T Keith's chicken crap maneuver towards the Dixie Chicks?  WHY? Forgive? Maybe. Forget? NEVER.



commiebiker
commiebiker

hahaha...nice that all the pics are "courtesy of the label" ... guess you didn't tell them the theme of this article?

Steeve
Steeve

"Who's That Man" exonerates Toby Keith from criticism.

WaitWhat
WaitWhat

@JohnGalt The government gave Clear Channel control of country artists' speech.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

this guy nailed it- now I don't agree that they are 'dbags' I like the Dixie Chicks but, Ms.Maines did the damage. her comments from the stage insulted the audience that put them on top. doesn't matter where you stand on the issues, she spit at them. that's pretty common sense and to blame that on Mr.'boot in your ass' is pretty simpleton. why would you give him so much credit.

these articles seem to stray when the writers stray into politics.



bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

@woarabians 

The answer to your question is - because she's desperately trying to win the approval of her douchebag father, and if she can't get it from him, she'll try to get it from a surrogate.



kduble
kduble

@ChrisYu  I doubt Michael Moore will ever again receive an Oscar from the Motion Picture Association either, but both have been vindicated as having been right.

z_mann
z_mann

@bvckvs @woarabians I doubt that Ms. Maines is desperate about anything.  She has made a lot of money, maintained her own personal integrity, and still enjoys a huge worldwide following.  


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