6 Punk Bands We Need to Stop Talking About

Categories: Columns

social-distortion-2011.jpg
We really, really don't need to discuss Social Distortion. Really.

I have an embarrassing tendency to bait people into conversations where I just talk about cool things I am doing. Surprise, right? While it likely stems from being bored with hearing of the mundane achievements of others (babies, crappy jobs, cars), there is a part of me that figures it must stem from some sort of deep-seated masochism -- the same way I used to force myself to watch My Super Sweet 16. Without fail, the conversation switches to traveling, music, or some other trite nonsense and the question arises:

"Oh, what kind of band are you in?"

Look, explaining you're in a punk band sucks -- it's like telling people you're a chef. Most people think they know a thing or two about it, and the resulting conversation is maddening. It hurts for everyone involved, as slowly the attempt to bond over art turns into an insecure namedropping contest. So for the sake of all of us, here are six punk bands we simply don't need to talk about.

1. The Clash [Editor's note: I am diving out of the way on this one; Drew, you can take the heat. The Clash rules, just sayin'.]

I'll be honest with you: I haven't really listened to much of the Clash because a lot of punks who wear hats with chains on them seem to be big fans. Plus, everything I've read about the band basically states it formed with the intention of latching on to the Sex Pistols' success. But in the interest of journalistic integrity, I am listening to some songs now -- and I still think they suck, with the exception of some live stuff. Reggae is gross and bad English punk sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber. Oh and if that's not enough, Bono once called the Clash the most influential band on U2's sound.

Lets talk about these bands instead:

'70s Regional Alternatives:
Desperate Bicycles
The Stranglers
Buzzcocks
The Damned
Ultravox

2. Social Distortion

Social Distortion is just Good Charlotte for people who wear flames on their clothes. Punk rock mixed with car culture is like going to the zoo with a bazooka -- a funny concept with unforgivable results.

Why don't we talk about these bands instead?:

Southern California Punk That Doesn't Encourage Dice Tattoos
Channel 3
VOM
Agression
The Dickies
The Weirdos

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21 comments
tellyscott
tellyscott

this article is sooooo punk bro! thanks for telling us how to fall in line with what is current because that is also sooooo punk.... trolling by way of blog post is sooooo punk also..... punk is a state of mind broseph. Like , I mean, Luke Bryan is sooo totally the Punk God of Bro-country ya know?!!?! I mean why are people even talking about Jason Aldean anymore right bra?? Big Time Rush is so the Punk  of the Boy Bands people need to be talking about not, One Direction right. Thanks man what would I do otherwise?? I might have actually mentioned Social Distortion as Social D and thought I was like totally with it in the insane Dallas punk scene. Its just like West Hollywood in "Valley Girl" I bet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tellyscott
tellyscott

this article is sooooo punk bro! thanks for telling us how to fall in line with what is current because that is also sooooo punk.... trolling by way of blog post is sooooo punk also..... punk is a state of mind broseph. Like , I mean, Luke Bryan is sooo totally the Punk God of Bro-country ya know?!!?! I mean why are people even talking about Jason Aldean anymore right bra?? Big Time Rush is so the Punk  of the Boy Bands people need to be talking about not, One Direction right. Thanks man what would I do otherwise?? I might have actually mentioned Social Distortion as Social D and thought I was like totally with it in the insane Dallas punk scene. Its just like West Hollywood in "Valley Girl" I bet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WaitWhat
WaitWhat

"Oh and if that's not enough, Bono once called the Clash the most influential band on U2's sound."

That's just stupid.  If a hack artist calls Pablo Picasso his greatest influence, does that make Pablo Picasso an asshole?  No, it does not.

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.

Disclaimer: I like U2.

kubrickian75
kubrickian75

"I graduated high school in 1977, I don't know about things like punk"- wait wouldn't that make you the most qualified person in the world, potentially, to know about punk? Now I have to wonder when YOU graduated high school. And seriously, I think the Clash are one of the most overrated bands of all time, but like "I never really listened to them much" is basically saying to us "my opinion is worth nothing" and statements like "reggae is gross" are kind of, I dunno...early 90s? 

kakool
kakool

Opinions are like assholes Drew Ailes,..everybody has one. But thankfully, for at least a little while longer people don't have there assholes in the air, sharing them with everyone else...they keep them to there fuckin selves. A lesson that's apparent the writers at the Dallas Observer clearly forget when you all are grabbing your ankles around the "brainstorm table" and come up with this garbage. But hey, just my opinion. Keep up the good work... 

BuggyBiggyJay
BuggyBiggyJay

Fuck you about The Clash... and Green Day is not PUNK! You sir a an idiot...

And yes, we need to keep talking about The Misfits cause well you know, its The Misfits..  Drew Ailes you are a vile moron. PUNKS DONT GO TO THERAPY. PUNK IS THERAPY...


521729
521729

FUCK YOU DREW... FUCK YOU

521729
521729

EXPOSEDDDDDD!! LMAO

crashbot
crashbot

Brilliant article. Just brilliant. 

scott11111111
scott11111111

oh wow man you are so much more legit than the rest of us, clearly

darrylrs
darrylrs

The two bands that I would add to this list are The Exploited and GBH.

mattbs_1969
mattbs_1969

dumbest article i have ever read in the observer, and that is saying something...

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