Macaulay Culkin Didn't Want a Review of His Band, So Here's Ours

Categories: DC9 at Night

hqdefault.jpg

Last night I reluctantly headed to Deep Ellum's Club Dada to see Macaulay Culkin's pizza-themed Velvet Underground cover band perform.

Now, if you're anything like me, then that sentence takes some serious digesting before it can be completely understood. Former child star Macaulay Culkin is in a Velvet Underground cover band, but they change all the lyrics to make the songs pizza-themed.

Got it? OK, let's move on.

My knowledge of Macaulay Culkin is he's famous for slapping cologne on his face and dated Mila Kunis pre-Ashton Kutcher.

Yeah, that's right. Let's all give Macaulay a virtual high five for landing her.

I thought for sure that this would all be a joke and people were there just to see why the hell Kevin from Home Alone is so broke (I'm assuming) that he has to tour the country with a cover band called Pizza Underground.

But it turns out, it's kind of not a joke. I met one of the band members, Phoebe, and by I met her, I mean I shook her hand and during those three and a half seconds, she seemed more serious about what she was doing than anything that entire night.

Already intimidated, I asked Phoebe what time the band would take the stage. She told me 10:45 and after a security escort to the stage, the band began playing.

Photography wasn't allowed, so let me try to paint the scene for you. Five people musicians, wearing black sunglasses, stood behind mics and sang songs about pizza. Some crowd members recorded the entire thing as if they were going to go home and whip out the recording at their next dinner party to show their friends.

The guy in front of me leaned over to his friend and said, "They're so fucking high."

OK, I wasn't going to say it, but I'm glad someone finally did. Like, the idea to form a pizza-themed cover band with your friends comes after a night of drinking or smoking, right? There's really no other way that idea is formed. Right?

Well the story goes something like Phoebe and her husband, Matt, decided to form the band and then someone knew someone and Macaulay Culkin somehow became a part of it. It sounds bizarre, but really don't all semi-good ideas end with a child star joining to really bring in the cash?

Pizza Underground played about eight songs and there was a lot of moving around in the crowd. People were walking back into the bar and then back outside to the show quite a bit. One guy even yelled, "We wasted seven DVR slots for this." I laughed.

And then at one point a man stood in front of me with a camcorder recording the show. Another man, who seemed to know exactly who camcorder guy was, asked for his picture. Confused, I asked who the man in the blonde wig and white sunglasses could be. The fan wasn't quite sure either, but we finally decided it was a Culkin brother. Rory or Kieran, we'll never know.

The show ended after about 30 minutes of playing time.

"I just paid money to watch Macaulay Culkin play a kazoo," said the guy in front of me.

Yes, you did. We all did.



Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help
23 comments
poston_p
poston_p

wow....that kid had something happen that really messed him up....sad and sorry.


GatoCat
GatoCat

"Yes, you did. We all did."
No, Paige, not all of us did.

PootieTang
PootieTang

Dear Paige,

Your "review" sucked a big ole douche pickle. Perhaps you should firmly grab a hold of that stick in your ass and yank it out. You, ya tard, are supposed to review MUSIC. This basically means that whatever someone did before they sprouted pube hairs is not something worth writing about. Seems to me someone dropped the ball, that being YOU. There's this thing called 'Youtube' and you can look up 'The Pizza Underground' and KNOW what they are going to be like. We all, except for you (obviously) knew what we were getting ourselves into.You, CLEARLY, didnt get the joke or fun. I hear Midol is on sale at Walgreens, go buy some.

marialuiza_popescu
marialuiza_popescu

I admit, I was intrigued enough to accept paying $15 for this. What I didn't agree with, however, was the door people's perceived necessity of keeping a stand-by line for those who didn't purchase advance tickets - friends inside confirmed it wasn't that packed at the time, and not a lot of ticket holders had shown up within that timeframe anyway. Anything to build hype, I guess. They ended up letting everyone waiting outside in, and the disappointment was having missed Moving Units. At least they didn't hike to $20 at the door. 

merope061
merope061

i'd pay more just to see culkin :) 

JoeSiffer
JoeSiffer

Would you ask Tom Petty a question like that?

dc005
dc005

what's the odds this was 'performance art',  and you just didn't get it?

EdD.
EdD.

What, they all used their real names instead of stage names like "Domino" and "Papa John"? Opportunity wasted.

uninterestedSue82
uninterestedSue82

First of all, the fact that all you know about Macaulay Culkin is that he was in Home Alone is ridiculous and you shouldn't have even been allowed to write this article. Second of all, the fact that you got to be in the same room with him is reward enough. The fact that he was preforming is just a bonus. Third and lastly, I now think less of the Dallas Observer because of this article. Good Job. <insert sarcasm>

pnd2131
pnd2131

This is offensive to pizza.


douglas
douglas

Wouldn't really consider this a "review" since there's no mention of any of the songs performed or a REVIEW of the music... 

cognitive
cognitive

It was a damn shame that this Pizza absurdity got more of a reaction from the crowd with this horrible music than Moving Units... As I stood there, surrounded by children (some dressed in pizza boxes) and feeling real old cuz I just didnt get it. I poured out my beer and went to Anvil, cuz, Pizza Underground. My wife explained it best... "Lets get out of here, this is like an Elementary school talent show."

boogerleo
boogerleo

Sounds like he and you should have been Home Alone!

monstruss
monstruss

I know it's the only Velvet Underground cover band fronted by a man who was fingered by Michael Jackson, but everything about this seems way too serious. 

WhyDontYouJoinNAMBLA
WhyDontYouJoinNAMBLA

@marialuiza_popescu  Has nothing to do with building hype and everything to do with fire codes. Complain to the DFD or buy your tickets in advance if you don't like waiting last. 


Think of it this way: All 400 people who bought tickets in advance were in front of you in line whether they were standing there or not. 


Maybe you should stay home. 

monstruss
monstruss

@uninterestedSue82  uhh you can't just <insert sarcasm>, you have to actually write something sarcastic. This is how language works. 

paigeskinner
paigeskinner

They sang "Perfect Day" and changed the lyrics to make it pizza-themed. They sang about an oven at one point. It was miserable.

Now Trending

Dallas Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...