Drunkest Raver, Most Ratchet Dancer and More Superlatives from Holy Ship!!! 2014

Categories: Festivals

Ian Witlen
Enough about the music and enough about the giant ship -- everyone wants the good stuff!

Like, who was the most wasted asshole on the boat? Who delivered the most snooze-worthy DJ set? And who was the most ratchet dancer of Holy Ship!!! 2014?

While the rest of the blogosphere waxes poetic about the same things over and over, we're giving you the news that's LOL-worthy. Because, let's face it, PLUR is only for when we're rolling and Ship Fam is a lie.

Here is the best, worst, and weirdest of Holy Ship!!!

Photo by Kat Bein

Best Set
When we first stumbled across the MSC Divina's Orange Room, we were completely mesmerized. It was about 4 a.m. and we'd been wandering the halls of the boat for hours, refusing to sleep despite the quickly approaching first night of private island partying. Soon, we were seized by intense delirium. So, in that moment, the vacant space of the Orange Room, with its empty glowing stage and an overwhelmingly loud pre-recorded soundtrack, was the most hysterical thing we'd ever seen. It was even better that one lonely dude was passed out on the comfy love seat. The most entertaining moment of the whole adventure.

Photo by Kat Bein

Oldest Shippers
The Buntings are Ship Fam royalty. They've been Holy Ship staples since the maiden voyage in 2012, and they don't plan on missing an embarkation anytime soon. For years, they've practically run the Holy Ship fan Facebook group. And this year, they organized an unofficial pre-party that was just as hyped, if not more, than the official bash at Story on South Beach. So big ups to Stephanie and Robert Bunting! Where would the rest of us Shippers be without their wisdom?

Drunkest Raver
This fucking guy is a total idiot. After strolling out onto a cloth awning hanging from the pool deck's second-floor balcony, he was about one false move away from becoming Holy Ship!!! 2014's first fatality. Whoever you are, we hope you enjoyed yourself. This was your 15 minutes of fame. Luckily, no one else decided it was worth a go, and thankfully (or unfortunately?), this fool didn't plummet to his bloody end.

Photo by Ian Witlen

Awesomest Aussies
Thanks surely in part to Holy Ship!!! 2014's significant number of Australian artists, we saw more Aussies on the boat than ever before. Now, some of y'all are really freakin' aggro. But some of you are really cute too. And we want to give a special shout out to all the Sydney cats who made the trip. Your accents are adorable and your bodies are extraordinarily well-toned. Maybe just keep your really loud bros in check. But that's definitely something that ravers from every nation, including our own U.S.A., should keep in mind.

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Articles like this suck donkey balls.  This blog has become a joke. I don't know why I come back everyday.

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