Josh Homme Is Dead To Me

Categories: Commentary

josh-homme-photo.jpg

Some people might hold up Josh Homme as a kind of savior of modern rock music, what with his riffs, and his arms (he has nice arms), and things like that. And I suppose that I did too, once. Around the time when Kyuss ended and QOTSA began, when they rode that wave from bad Kyuss album into the bludgeoning force of debut album opener "Regular John," I'm pretty sure I thought Josh Homme was the greatest, and that I could never get enough of whatever it was he chose to do.

I was wrong. Josh Homme is now dead to me, and I am a lesser man for his fictitious passing. Here's what really drove me over the edge.

1. Kyuss, dude, seriously

Kyuss' Blues For The Red Sun is one of the greatest albums of all time. FACT. If you disagree with this you simply haven't listened to it loud enough. Sure, after ...And The Circus Leaves Town, it might have been time to try a few different things (even if by far your weakest album still contains stone-cold classics like "One Inch Man" and "El Rodeo"). But to leave it for 15 years, wait until all the other members reform, and then sue them for having the temerity for using the name "Kyuss"? Fuck you, Josh.

2. Era Vulgaris

Era Vulgaris was a terrible, terrible album. Josh decided to abandon his signature guitar sound and instead run all the guitars through a processor that made them sound like a dying lawnmower trapped in a ditch. "Sick, Sick, Sick" is physically painful to listen to. It's like Josh was trying to make me sad. Me personally, you understand. This is my fight. Not yours.

3. Following up Them Crooked Vultures by touring the first QOTSA album again for a year

THAT'S NOT WHAT ANYONE WANTED JOSH. THEY WANTED ANOTHER THEM CROOKED VULTURES ALBUM. Who writes songs as awesome as "Warsaw" or "No-One Loves Me (And Neither Do I)" and then follows them up by saying "I will now tour a record I wrote 12 years ago and never previously bothered playing any of the songs from live"? NOBODY. JOSH. DAMMIT.

4. Taking Jon Goddamn Theodore off the general market to make him play 4/4 stoner metal

Goddammit Josh, Theodore is one of the greatest, most inventive drummers of our times. Given free reign, he will 100 percent guaranteed fuck your shit up into next week. So, what you did was wait until an album was recorded with predictable 4/4 beats and then bring him in to tour the fucking album? HAVE YOU SEEN JON THEODORE PATHETICALLY TAP AWAY ON A HI-HAT JOSH? I TAKE IT YOU HAVE, BECAUSE YOU MADE HIM DO IT. JON THEODORE COULD EAT THAT FUCKING HI-HAT FOR BREAKFAST.

I'm too angry now. I will not be coming to see you and beautiful, beautiful Jon Theodore at the Verizon on Saturday, because now you're touring FUCKING ARENA-SIZED VENUES. Maybe if you don't make enough money off this tour, you could sue Kyuss some more? In summary, go fuck yourself.

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17 comments
thirdeyeopen
thirdeyeopen

Dear Dumbass,


How does one like Kyuss and dislike "Sick, Sick, Sick?" 


This 'opinion' is so flat out wrong (yes, your opinion is actually wrong) that I'm not going to even give any further criticism.

arianacraig
arianacraig

As Josh would say "Where the fuck does your band play?!? Get fucked douchebag. He's an artist and is allowed to do what he wants. Loser.

YouAreStupidAuthor
YouAreStupidAuthor

1) Agree and seemed out of character. Probably something political going on.


2) Era Vulgaris is a fucking fantastic album. Might not be everyone's cup of tea but criticizing a band for going away from "their signature guitar sound" is really dumb. Its called being creative. People hated pinkerton when it came out. Enough said.

3) I was at that tour. Best show I have ever been to hands down. They hadn't toured in forever and people DID want to see them.

4) There is more to drumming than how complex of time signatures you play. Many (I am not in this boat personally) regard the AC/DC drummer as a legend. Did he play crazy fills? No. Drumming is about driving the feel of the song home. If you are able to do that, you are a great drummer making great music. The author of the article clearly doesn't understand very basic things about what goes into a great song or band and should stop talking on the internet. Also, listen to the drums in I Appear Missing you twat.

AustinAintThatGreat
AustinAintThatGreat

Two things the Hipster twats have adopted that I wish they would of left alone QOTSA & the Melvins - seriously twatsters go listen to your whistle music and your Cage the Elephant & Fuck the ear albums - leave serious music to the decent people. 

It looked like Urban Outfitters was having a sale right outside the abortion of a concert venue this was held at.

NoneOfYerBusiness
NoneOfYerBusiness

Jesus Christ.  So many things wrong here with regard to, oh, I don't know, the kinds of shit they teach you in Journalism 101 as well as failures in basic logic:

1.  Do your research on the Kyuss Lives!/Kyuss legal debacle.  What you present here is a strawman argument.  Homme AND Scott Reeder (Josh wasn't the only "litigious" party here) filed suit because Garcia and Bjork-after Josh and Scott gave their OK to use the Kyuss Lives! moniker-were working to trademark the Kyuss (NOT Kyuss Lives!) name.  Now THAT is a dick move.  A few clicks beyond the first few pages of Google results turns up the court documents as well as emails between Garcia and Reeder.  But I suppose that would require work.  *sigh*

 2.  In case you didn't know, ...Like Clockwork is their latest effort--the sixth in the QOTSA catalog.  So because you didn't like one out of SIX records, you write him off?  

3.  *Waves hand wildly in the air*  OOOOH! ME!  Pick me!  I have the answer! :  Because Josh Homme wasn't the only fucking person in Them Crooked Vultures.  Last I checked, when you are involved in a collective effort, moving forward requires the agreement of all involved parties.  By faulting Josh for following up TCV with the self-titled tour, especially after writing songs "as awesome" as the ones you name gives all the credit to Josh for TCV.  JOHN PAUL JONES and Dave Grohl are in the band.

I would probably want to get back to my roots, too, if I died during a surgical procedure, was revived, and then bedridden for a few months.  (Which really makes the title of your article a wee bit dickish).  That happened after TCV.  Something else a simple Google search would turn up.


4.  So Josh put a gun to Jon Theodore's head, chains him to his drum kit every night, and screams "PLAY, MONKEY! PLAY!"?  What an evil genius!  #4 is essentially an insult to Jon Theodore and vastly oversimplifies QOTSA's catalog. 


I'm shocked that one of the items in your list of supposed reasons why Josh Homme should ultimately fuck off isn't "HE HAZ RED HAIR WHICH MEANS HE DON'T HAVE NO SOUL!  LOOLLZZ GUYZ".






sstrong421
sstrong421

All I have to read is the title, and I couldn't agree more.  Oh god, could I not agree more.  In fact, I'm going to go out and buy two copies of the new Vista Chino album.

Gabe48
Gabe48

A "must try" is Mac's BBQ in Dallas on Main, only open for lunch on Mon. - Fri. Their meaty ribs are outstanding, great sauce, don't miss jalapeño sausage. Fries are fresh, hand cut.

doublewidestaythere
doublewidestaythere

this article is why I wear my I shoot HIPSTERS t shirt to places like the double wide and dare someone to fuck with me...which they dont, they make snarky comments and give wife level stink eyes.  By comparison say I wore a I shoot gays to the Eagle or a I shoot Mexicans to 2001/2009 those people would tear my limbs off and slaughter me - they unlike hipsters have balls and pride.  But because hipsters are soulless ineffectual de-mascualated scum fucks they dont do shit.  Go play with your iphone 5 jerk off.

doublewidestaythere
doublewidestaythere

How does someone who writes about music know nothing about music.

1.  "kyuss lives" awful shitty shit, charging $35 a ticket to see the brant and john jerk off session, no thanks.

2.  Era Vulgaris - their worst album, I agree.  But river in the road, I'm designer....pretty good little tunes.  Sick, sick, sick is awesome as hell live, its like "so what" by ministry and "aneurysm" by nirvana - songs that sound flat & little stale on the record but blow your doors off live.  Hell, even the Beatles put out Let it Be, which is shitty compared to everything else. They can' all be winners.

3.  Good job picking the worst song on that TCV album, I skip the first four songs everytime. 

4.  No, just wrong, plain wrong. They play "song for the dead", Jon plays it better than Joey, you are proved wrong.

Go back to licking rhett millers asshole and writing about the latest missile circle jerk and things that you know about.

PilotKelson1056
PilotKelson1056

Lame. I was happy as fuck that they toured for the self titled because most of my favorite songs came from that CD and it was a goddamn honor/dream come true to see those songs played live. I guess only real fans appreciated that, which is why this article and the observer is dead to me.

AustinAintThatGreat
AustinAintThatGreat

@NoneOfYerBusiness josh is a dick I love him but he is...however for that KYUSS LIVE! crap to charge 35$ a ticket for a nostalgia band that pales to the original - thats shameful

doublewidestaythere
doublewidestaythere

@PilotKelson1056 because this album opened up at number 1 even with zero airplay...this makes it uncool to the hipster mind.  Thats why you see mumford and his sons getting trashed on here now, whereas before they were compared to the Band circa 1969.

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